Wet

I think I’m clever by not ringing the doorbell and instead, let myself in the side gate to go straight to the backyard.

The last laugh’s on me, because when I step into the yard I see her in a chair just to the left of the repair sight. I immediately glance away and keep my eyes focused down.

“Hello, Paul Junior.”

I don’t look up as I lower myself to the ground. “Ms. Jacoby.”

“Thank you for coming. Did you bring your head with you?”

I feel a sweat break out across my brow. “I did.” I pull the sprinkler head out of my jacket pocket and wave it like a flag. I try not to look at her but the way the sun shines on her bare legs catches my eye. Her legs are crossed with one foot tapping the air. She’s wearing sandals with dangerously high heels. My gaze travels up higher to see her skirt has ridden up her thighs. Holy hell.

“Nice sweats,” I mumble.

“I don’t do baggy sweats. But you’ll be happy to know I’m wearing a bra.”

The sweat is now trickling down my neck.

“A really sexy bra, if I do say so myself.”

She leans forward as she fingers the stem of her wine glass slowly. Her blouse dips open and reveals her overflowing cleavage and a hint of black lace. The view is everything I hoped it would be.

I turn back to the hole in the lawn and shove the head inside. But despite my maneuvering the damn thing won’t screw in. I pull the head back out and run my fingers inside the tread of the pipe in the ground. “Damn,” I curse when I realize what the problem is.

“So it wasn’t just me?” she asks.

“No, it wasn’t. I’m going to have to dig this out and I don’t have the tools here to do it with me. I came in my car. I’ll have to come back.”

“Tsk, tsk. What a shame.” She uncrosses her legs and then slowly crosses them in the other direction. It’s hypnotizing. If she does that a few more times I’m sure I’d be under her trance.

“Sorry about this.”

“Oh, it’s fine. So where are you off to now?”

Standing up, I brush off my knees. “I’m having di

She studies me with a faraway, kind of sad expression. I wonder what her family is like.

“Really? That’s so sweet,” she says, her tone sincere.

“And my mom’s a great cook.”

“Lucky man.”

“I am.”

Her message prompt goes off on her phone and I notice it’s tucked into the edge of her seat next to her naked thigh.

“More potential conquests?” I ask nodding to the phone.

She pulls the phone out. “Here let me look.” She reads the screen and then rolls her eyes. “Why does everyone want to tie me up?”

My eyes bug out imagining her tethered to my bedposts naked. “Seriously?”

She nods. “I’d show you but you need to leave.”

I glance down at my watch and I know I should leave but the horny man inside of me opens his mouth before I can stop him. “No, I’ve got some time.”

She stands up and smooths her skirt down. Her legs go on for miles. I can imagine them wrapped around me and I want it bad. I try to remember Jim’s advice but it’s all fuzzy in my head right now as all the blood is going to my cock instead of my brain.

She turns and walks across the grass and along the brick pathway with a swagger. Despite her high-heeled sandals she strides with confidence. I walk stiffly after her thanks to my stiffy.

Once inside, she pushes me down on her couch in her den, and then steps away. She returns with a glass of wine for me, and her glass refilled. As she sinks down onto the cushions I’m acutely aware of her thigh pressed up against mine as she holds up her phone. I take a big gulp of wine and try not to look down her blouse.

She taps her screen. “See, here’s a picture of Richard, who’s apparently a dom.”

I squint at the screen to see a beefy guy with tattoos holding handcuffs in his hand and a four-poster bed behind him with only a sheet over the mattress.

“Is this a potential hook-up?”

“Indeed it is. He wants to see me tonight in his lair. He’s insisted actually.”

“Really? So I’m guessing Richard won’t be bringing you flowers and taking you out for di

“Is that what you do with girls you date?”

“Yes,” I lie. I haven’t actually done that yet, but when I meet the right girl I will. It’s part of my master plan.

She sighs so loud it’s practically a swoon.

“Lucky girls. Are you for real? You know, you’re pretty dreamy—a stand-up kind of guy, who spends time with his family. To top it off you’re so easy on the eyes.”

Would she still think I’m dreamy if she knew what we did together in my wild fantasies last night?

She holds up her phone. “So no, if you read the text you’ll see that Richard only wants to tie me up and fuck me repeatedly.”

My chest tightens and my fingers clench into fists. “How repeatedly?”

“Well, he says in every orifice.”

I angrily grab the phone from her hand. “Are you serious? What the fuck?” I read his message and then turn to her. “You aren’t going to meet up with him, are you?”

“No. He doesn’t appeal to me at all, and I don’t want to be tied up and fucked in every orifice.”

“Glad to hear it. Hey, show me the latex guy you told me about.”

She takes her phone and runs her fingers over the screen until she finds what she’s searching for. She hands me the phone.

“This guy is perfectly ordinary looking. Good looking even. What the hell?”

“I know right? And I even think he’s married on top of it. See how there’s a thin stripe of skin that’s lighter on his ring finger?”

“Asshole!”

“So you see what I’m up against?”

“I do.”

This woman deserves better. Too bad I can’t be her knight in shining armor to save her from all these perverts but I have to hold my line with her. Besides . . . I’ve been accused of being a pervert because I’m obsessed with sex, so who am I to judge?

“So is there anyone at all on this Tinder thing that appeals to you?”

“Well there’s one I’m considering.”

“Show me.”

She scans through what must be a long list of men before she clicks the screen. “His name is Scott.”

I study the screen. “He looks all right. Does he want you to dress up in something weird?”

“No, he wants to meet at a wine bar.”

“You sound hesitant.”

“I don’t know. He said that he liked that I was naughty and we haven’t even met yet.”

“Hmmm, well if you talk to him like you do to me I can see why he’d say that.”

Her cheeks blush. “I guess you’re right.”

For a second I wonder if all of this sexy talk has been an act with her, but then she opens her mouth again.

“So if you’d screwed me when you had a chance, things really would’ve been so much simpler.”

“You and your pretty mouth.”

“Well I wouldn’t have to go see if this guy’s a creep or not.”

“True . . . but there’s nothing simple about me, Elle. And if I’d screwed you, you’d know that.”

“You love to taunt me don’t you?”

I stand up. “Just a little bit.

I want to do so much more than taunt her. It’s taking everything I have not to reconsider her offer. It’s not just the sex, there’s something about her that makes me want to know the sides of her she hasn’t shown me yet.

“This has been enlightening, but my number one woman is expecting me.”

“Should I be jealous?”

“Definitely. My mom is awesome.”

She pushes me in the shoulder. “Get outta here.”

Two days later I’m on my knees in her yard again. The grass is still damp, but warm and it has that freshly cut smell. I appreciate her Studio City neighborhood with the understated ranch homes with good-sized yards. It’s certainly different than some of the lame postage stamp-sized quasi yards on the other side of the hill due to the overbuilding epidemic. Crazy L.A. real estate.