Wet

She’s starting to make me nervous. Her eyes grow wide as she remembers something else.

“Did you know that some kids get seizures from playing certain video games? My God! How will I know what to do?”

“Isn’t it like anything in life? You learn one thing at a time. What about talking to other moms. Do you know any?”

“Well, none of my friends have kids yet. We’re all career women.”

“Then we’ll go find you some mom friends.”

She gives me a lopsided grin. “We will? And where do we find these mom friends?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. In the park or something. I always see a lot of them in the park huddled together . . . or how about online! Isn’t there like a Tinder for moms or something?”

She almost spits up her tea and I have to pat her back to calm her down.

“Mom hook-ups?” she sputters.

“Yeah!” Damn, I have good ideas.

“You’re a gem, Paul.”

I suspect she thinks my ideas on this subject are ridiculous, but she appreciates the effort.

“I know. How about Sunday before the game we go to one of those baby stores? I bet the people that work there know a lot.”

She blinks rapidly, but thankfully I don’t see any tears. “You’d do that?”

“Sure as long as you don’t jump out of the car and yell at me.”

“Deal.”

That night as I lie in bed, I remember the charge I felt just seeing her again, and I’m pretty sure she was feeling the same. She looked stressed out and depressed when I saw her from a distance in the yard, and once we’d talked things out and got past that stupid argument, her real smile returned.

It feels like there’s some of Elle now in every part of me . . . she’s on the edge of every thought . . . her laugh, the teasing look in her eyes, and the way she curls into me whenever we’re on the couch together. Tonight she laid her head on my chest as we watched some show. It could have been anything on TV, but all I cared about was that I was there with her and how weirdly perfect that felt.

Now that she’s pregnant I know I shouldn’t be thinking of sex with her, but I do . . . all the time. She’s always turned me on but now it’s different. There’s something primitive about it, like I’m a freaking tiger desperate to mate her. Is this some crazy male hormone thing? I should Google that shit.

Everything that I’m attracted to in a woman is accentuated now, her curves and full breasts make me wild. Then her vulnerability, which belies her fierce i

I want it all and I have to face that I may never be satisfied until I get it. I also have to face that I could also end up with nothing. It’s in fate’s hands now.

The visit to the baby-stuff store on Sunday ends up being a kick-ass idea on my part. Our salesperson, Naomi, is so amped up to have a baby newbie that she goes above and beyond. By the time we leave the store Elle has a priority list of purchases and although I find the whole thing anxiety producing, Naomi seems to make Elle calm.

She has a big smile on her face when we finally get in the car to go home and see the game.

“That was the best idea ever, Paul,” she says as she squeezes my arm.

“Yeah, I’m a genius.”

“Can you believe how nice that Naomi was? All that time she spent with us and we didn’t even buy anything.”

“Yeah, she reminded me of my mom. Some women are just ga-ga over babies—not just theirs . . . anyone’s.”

“So did it bother you that she kept referring to you as the dad?”

My chest swells but I don’t want her to know how not only did it not bother me, but I liked it—a lot.

“I noticed you didn’t correct her.” I glance over and see her sly smile.

“Well, it’s not her business. We don’t have to explain anything.”

“Did it bother you?” I ask.

“No, I liked it. Believe me, I wish you were the dad.” My heart practically explodes in my chest. I could be.

If I only had the courage to say those words. Still stu

“Of course. You’re awesome. You’ll be a great dad one day.”

“Thanks. I plan to be a great uncle, too.”

Her expression falls a little when I say ‘uncle’. It gives me hope that one day I really can be the dad.

It’s no surprise that Elle passes out curled up next to me in the fourth quarter of the game. The Trojans are kicking Arizona’s ass, and after a while I’m just embarrassed for the Wildcats. I’m starting to doze off myself when Elle suddenly wakes with a start and sits up. Her eyes are wide.

I rub her back. “Hey, you okay?”

She nods but she still looks startled. “Yeah, just really weird dreams.” She points to the television. “Did SC win?”

I nod. “They slaughtered them. I’m glad you missed it. Honestly it was painful to watch.”

She lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good.” She settles back against me.

“So what kind of dreams did you have?”

“Disturbing. I’d rather not relive them. Okay?”

“Sure.”

She’s pulling on the ends of her hair and I know her well enough that something I’m not going to like will soon follow out of her mouth.

“So I want to ask you something,” she says in a serious tone.

“Okay.”

“Will you do me a favor and go out with that girl Melanie?”

My head drops down so I can go eye to eye with her. What the fuck is this about?

“Because?”

“Because I want you to find your happiness. And right now you’re putting a lot of your time into helping me. Don’t get me wrong—I’m so grateful for all that you’ve done. I don’t know what state I’d be in right now without you. But I can’t be selfish. I want all the good things for you.”

“What makes you think that Melanie will be all that good for me?”

“I don’t know that she will be, but you were crazy about her. Right?”

“That was a long time ago.”

“But I could tell when her name came up at di

I shrug. “We all hold onto all kinds of stuff. Who knows? Maybe it would’ve been great or maybe we would’ve been all wrong for each other. She could be an epic bitch in a relationship.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. I’m just asking you to find out for once and for all.”

“Is this a crazy hormonally inspired idea?”

She smiles. “No. I feel very calm right now.”

As we stare at each other I wonder if she’s right. Maybe I should just do it so I can let go of the teen-angst curiosity that has stayed with me all these years.

“Please,” she says.

“Okay,” I huff.

“I have rules though.”

“You do, huh?” I ask with an arched brow. “That’s rich, Ms. Bossy Pants. What are your rules?”

“If you sleep with her right away I don’t want to hear about it.”

My eyes narrow as I watch her fold her arms over her chest.

“Well, I would’ve thought you’d want to hear all about it. So why not?”

“I’d be jealous, of course. Think about how hard I tried to get you to sleep with me before I gave up.”

“Gotta say, I feel like I’m being set up here for some major girl drama.”

“No, I’ll be good, I promise. Just no hot sex talk. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to hear it.”

I shake my head. “You’re crazy Elle.”

She smiles and winks. “But you like me enough to put up with me.”

“Yeah, I suppose I do.”

Chapter Thirteen

WOMAN ON TOP

I decide to call Melanie Monday afternoon. That seems like a neutral time. It’s not a sexy time, and it can’t come off as anxious since my mom gave me her number over a week ago. I get her voicemail.