From the Wreckage

Someone wanted me. That was good enough for me.

At first.

Now, it crawls under my skin and festers there, like an oozing blister I can’t help but pick at. Being the best friend she is, Jade tries to support me, especially since I haven’t voiced any of my recent concerns to her.

I’ve tried my best to ignore it, to pretend like it’s not a big deal, but when he turns around to face me, the flash of mea

But, the more I get to know him, the more I realize those qualities might have just been a show to lure me in.

“What’s her problem anyway? She’s such a bitch. Never understood why you were friends with her in the first place.” My mouth hangs open at his snide words. “Can’t say I’m not thrilled you won’t be living with her any more. Can’t stand that bit–”

Shoving away from him, I cut him off mid-sentence. “Oh no, you don’t.” My voice is filled with sass and more than a touch of anger. “She”—I point to Jade and Joh

Since the bench is open on both sides, I slide away from him and stand by the edge of the table. “This isn’t working, Blake.” Waving my hands between us, he knows exactly what I mean by “this.”

With menacing slowness, he moves toward me, scooting along the green leather seat. Standing in my physical space, reminds me of how much larger he is than me.

What was I thinking? What did I ever see in him? I ask myself as he looks down at me, a syrupy sweet look plastered to his hard face.

“Maybe we should talk outside, Grace.” My name falls from his lips like a curse as his fingers curl around my wrist in a vise grip. His eyes glaze over as his dilated pupils eat up all of the color that would be there. Any sense of the man I thought he was is replaced by the image of this stranger before me.

In a split second, he changes tactics. Being overly sweet, a lazy smile spreads across his face and his hard eyes soften, as does his grip on me. “Sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to get mad,” he coos, sweeping a piece of hair out of my eyes. “I just want you all to myself.” Pulling me to his side, he presses an affectionate kiss to the top of my head.

Not wanting to ruin the night, I let him hold me for a few seconds. Stepping back, I look up at him. “It’s okay. Just try to calm it down a bit, please,” I beg, adding a hint of seduction to my words in the hopes of keeping him quiet the rest of the night.

“Sure thing, babe.” He nods in agreement. “I’m going to go grab a drink. Want anything?”

“Another beer, please.” I move back to the bench as he struts away.

That boy is so complicated; his mood swings give me whiplash. His temperamental attitudes, however, are wearing thin. So even though I can play nicely for the rest of the night, I brace myself knowing a very real conversation with him about his behavior and its impact on our would-be future is on the very near horizon. Lost to my own internal musings about ending things with Blake, I don’t even see Jade as she returns to the table. Pulling my almost emptied mug from my hand, she chugs down the last sips of my beer before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“That man can dance something fierce.” Chuckling, she points to Joh

“Did his panties unbunch?” Her words are heavily laced with cynicism.

Leaning forward, I try my best to keep my voice as low as possible. “For now, but I’m not so sure about us.” At the mention of the last part, Jade also leans forward. Placing her hands over mine, her face twists in concern.

“What did he do?” Seriousness fills the small space between us.

Shaking my head, I try to put into words the very distinct feeling I just had about him. “I think it’s more than just being a little jealous. I don’t know. There was something in his eyes. Actually, it was what wasn’t in his eyes. He was cold and hard. I just don’t see myself with him for much longer.”

Deep down, I know those words make Jade happier than she’ll ever admit to. She doesn’t have any time to react or to engage in the conversation we so obviously need. Wordlessly, she tips her head over my shoulder as Blake and Joh

“Blake,” she greets him icily.

“Jade.” He does the same.

Joh

Three glasses go up in the air and Blake’s arm slides around my shoulder. “To Jade and Grace and their bright futures.”

His toast leaves me speechless, and since I don’t have any words in my mouth, I fill it with beer. In her life-long quest to have me loosen up, Jade starts chanting “chug it, chug it” as I start to pull my mug away from my mouth. Of course Joh

Surprising even myself, I figure what the hell. Three gulps later, my mug is empty and my head a touch fuzzy. Never having been a huge drinker, downing two beers in less than thirty minutes has me feeling good and buzzed.

After slamming the mug down on the table, I call out, “Let’s dance.”

Rushing to the dance floor, Jade, Joh

With the lights flashing and the music blasting, it’s easy to lose myself. Blake’s hands roam all over as his body presses into mine from behind. Though I would normally pull back from his outward display of public affection, tonight I lean into it willingly. Spi

Blake’s little pissing match from before, cemented some concerns I already had about him. So now, instead of thoughts about stripping my boyfriend down when we get back to his apartment, the only thing ru

Luckily, just as I begin to pull back from him, a loud siren rings over the music. The crowd erupts into a huge round of applause. Lots of woohooing screams fill the air and as I scan the crowd, I see all of the girls racing toward the front of the bar.

“What the hell?” I call out to Jade, who simply shrugs. Stretching up on her toes, she can easily see above most of the other people here, but she still can’t see what all the fuss is about.

That’s when Joh

“This place isn’t called ‘Smoke’ for nothing. It’s a firefighter bar and those guys”—he points across the room—“just finished their shift.” Jade’s eyes widen at the mention of firefighters. So do mine, but I try my best to shield it from Blake, knowing full well it’ll piss him off.

Having spent the last six years of my life in New York City for college and grad school, I developed a healthy appreciation for New York’s bravest. Hell, I challenge any red-blooded American woman not to. And I’m pretty sure their effect can be felt outside of America as well.