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I pulled up the number for my favorite Chinese place and handed her the phone. “Order what you want.”
She clapped her hands excitedly before taking the phone from me and putting it to her ear. “You want something too?” I shook my head and she shrugged as she waited for someone to answer on the other end.
While she ordered, my doorbell rang again. I gritted my teeth, not wanting my OCD to go into overdrive when I had a mystery guest sitting in my living room. Then I realized that whoever was at the door was ringing it enough times.
“That’s Mom,” my guest lowered the phone from her mouth and muttered before returning to ordering enough food to feed a small nation. How the hell was she going to eat all that?
Shaking my head at her, I stood and slowly made my way to the door. I had no clue who was going to be on the other side, but at least they hadn’t put my OCD into overdrive. Glancing back at the kid who was still ordering food—six egg rolls, and I had no idea where the fuck was she going to put them—I opened the door.
I knew it was her as soon as the door started to open. I felt it in my bones and not just because she pushed hard on the door, knocking the damn thing into my shin. My entire body was like an A
Rubbing at the sore spot on my leg, I followed after her. The kid had finished ordering her food and was staring patiently up at A
“Hi, Mom. It’s so good to see you too.” She gri
“You are in so much trouble, do you hear me?” A
“I love you too, Mom.” The girl glanced my way and smiled. “I told you she would be here soon.”
A
“Nothing,” the girl assured her mother. “Honest, Mom. I was waiting on you.”
The two females shared a long look I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand any of this. Motherfucking hell, I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that A
Knowing the girl was A
Motherfucking hell. Shit. Oh shit. This kid—this teenaged girl… How old was she?
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. All the oxygen left my lungs and I couldn’t suck in another breath. My gaze met the green and gold eyes that I knew were reflected back at her. She was so beautiful.
And mine.
A
How had I not known she existed? She had to be sixteen years old and I was just now setting eyes on her. How…?
Motherfucker.
Memories of A
Ah, God, I’d fucked up. Fucked up so badly.
Nausea rolled in my stomach. I’d not only fucked up with A
“I think he knows,” my daughter-motherfucker, my daughter—whispered to her mother.
A
C HAPTER S EVENTEEN
A
I knew the second he co
I took a sick sense of pleasure knowing how destroyed he was in that moment. That was the same feeling I’d had when I’d discovered I was pregnant two months after he’d left me without a backward glance and with a broken promise. That was how I’d felt when I’d fallen when I was six months pregnant and had been so scared I was going to lose my precious baby. And it was how I felt times ten million when five years later I’d nearly lost my reason for living.
Every time, I had tried to tell him what was going on, but he couldn’t be bothered to return my calls or even open a damn letter. Memories of pulling that letter out of the mailbox, the red stamp on the front saying ‘return to sender’ without it having been opened, still had the ability to slice at something deep inside of my heart. I’d needed him so much during those terrifying times and he wouldn’t give me so much as five minutes of his time.
My pleasure at his destruction lasted only five seconds. I couldn’t stand there, watching the man who still owned part of my soul falling into the abyss I knew he was so frightened of. His body started to shake and he took a stumbling step toward us. My instinct was to protect my child and I stepped in front of Mieke. He shook his head as if to clear it as he moved past us.
“Don’t leave,” he muttered. “Please…just don’t leave.”
Zander stumbled down the hall and struggled to open a door. Seconds later I heard him retching and my heart ached. Swallowing hard, I turned to face my kid. Concern darkened her green and gold eyes. “Is he going to be okay?” she whispered.