Desertion

“We can do this the hard way, or the easy way.” Jesse steps in closer but I retreat.

“Or we can not do it at all,” I counter with a forced smile.

“I promise you, you won’t like the hard way.” He ignores me and continues to make threats.

“I’m good. Busy,” I relent, answering his first question and not liking the glint in his eyes. It’s like he’s wanting to push me right now, and it’s making me vulnerable.

“You?” I find myself asking, wanting to know.

“Better.” He rocks on his feet, keeping his eyes on the highlighted buttons above the door. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at hearing his honesty. Why couldn’t he just say good?

“I heard you moved out with Lissy.” He keeps the conversation going and even if I don’t want to talk to him, I can’t help but answer.

“Yeah, you were right. I had to move out. Live my life,” I whisper, remembering his last words to me that night.

“Damn it, Bell. I’m an ass. You shouldn’t have listened to me.” He sighs, turning his body to face me.

“Yes, Jesse. You were an ass, a big one. But alas, you were right. I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me.” I look up, giving him a pass. I know it was hard to hear those words from him, but as much as I hated it, he was right. I needed to get out of my parents’ house, from under their hold.

“Still doesn’t make it right.” He steps closer and my breath catches in my throat. Where is this elevator? Trying not to give him my eyes, I shift my stare back to the doors, willing them to open.

“Jesse, you were in a bad place. I get it. I do. I don’t hate you. I’ve forgiven you for that.”

“You have?” he asks as the doors slide open. Ignoring the hope I hear in his voice, I enter the elevator and hit the button to my floor. Jesse follows behind me, dashing my hopes of a clean getaway.

“I have to say, Bell, that’s the last thing I was expecting.”

“Why? You think I would hold a grudge? I’m not like that and you’re not a bad person. You have a big heart,” I admit, pressing the close door button repeatedly, wishing everything would hurry up.

“But you haven’t been taking my calls, returning my texts.” It’s not a question, but a statement. One I was hoping not to address.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Jesse. But you did. Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean everything between us is okay.” I give it to him straight, needing him to understand I’m still hurting.

“I know, baby.” He steps forward and I nearly cave with the way he calls me baby. “I fucked up more than I ever have in my entire life and I’m going to make it up to you.” He carefully steps more into my space.

“Please, Jesse, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” I close my eyes, my resolve slipping. Get it together, Bell. He gets you alone in an elevator and you melt into a puddle of need.

“Look at me,” he demands, his warm breath hitting my face. My eyes spring open at the demand and I swallow when I realize how close he is. “I’m not giving up, Bell.” He shakes his head, determination etched into his face, and it frightens me. How can I resist him?

“What we had, it wasn’t healthy.” A whimper flies past my lips when he dips his head and runs his nose along my jaw.

“No, Bell. I won’t accept that. What we had was real.” His voice is solid and sure. I’m almost reassured by it, but my defiance comes crashing back just as the elevator doors spring open. Seeing my chance to escape, I push him back, breaking our co

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Jesse.” I rush past him, retreating to my room.

“You are though. You’re hurting me right now, Bell. Acting like I mean nothing to you when we both know that’s a lie.” He follows close behind me. Feeling myself slipping back into his spell, I walk faster to get to my door.

“No, you did this to us.” I reach the door, my hands shaking as I fumble around inside my purse in search of my room key.

“Sweetheart, please will you just look at me,” he whispers his plea, getting me right where he wants me. Reluctantly, I turn and watch him step in close again. My head is screaming at me to push him back, put an end to all of this, but my body’s weak, my mind confused. “Okay, I came on too strong tonight. But, Bell, you have to know, I’m not walking away from this. I will win you back and when I do, you will be mine.” He delivers his warning with a fierceness I’ve never seen in him.

“You can’t just come back into my life and tell me what you want, Jesse.” I try to reason with him. The man has lost his mind if he thinks this is how it works.

“I just did. And it will happen. I will do everything in my power to make that happen. You’re fighting it right now. I get that. I’m the world’s biggest fool for pushing you out, but you and I both know this is going to happen. You and me, we aren’t done. Don’t ever say that. Now turn around, put the key in the door and get inside before I strip you naked right here and fuck you so hard you’ll know how far from done we are.” I close my eyes and swallow the large lump in my throat. “Now, Bell!” he barks, almost pushing me over.

Knowing I’m not going to get anywhere with him tonight, I turn, swipe my card and push open the door. I’m about to walk through when he calls me back.

“Oh and, Bell,”—he waits till I’m facing him—“you won’t be needing this.” He holds up the card Grant left with me, takes it in his fingers and rips it in half. How the hell did he get that?

“You ever think about having another man’s cock near your pussy, my pussy, I’ll tie you to my bed and keep you there for a week to remind you who you belong to. You understand me?” His words drip with authority, need, and my hand moves to the doorframe to keep myself standing. I might not want to admit it, but I knew the second the threat left his mouth fighting him wasn’t worth it.

“Good girl.” He takes my silence as an answer. “Now lock the door,” he orders again. Needing to clear the fog from my head, I do as I’m told. Shutting the door, I twist the lock and then slide down to the floor.

I’m unsure what has just happened.

I know I liked it, but more so, I know I’m completely screwed.

Thirty-Nine JESSE

“You can’t just come back into my life and tell me you want me back, Jesse.”

I replay her words over in my head for the hundredth time the next morning. Yeah, I can, sweetheart. I chuckle to myself as I grab my phone and begin my next play. I know I’m playing a dangerous game by walking back into her life and demanding she take me back, but when I walked into that club last night and saw her laughing with some fucker, she left me no choice. I needed to stake my claim and I needed to do it quickly. Sure, I could have done it in a better way. Given her a chance to warm up to the idea, but any hope of staying calm and acting reasonable went out the window the minute that Grant fucker handed my woman his number. He’s lucky I didn’t lay him out.

Forcing myself to forget the asshole, I type out my text and press send.

ME: How did you sleep?

I sit back down in my chair, willing her to respond. I smile, knowing my play worked when a few minutes later my phone beeps with a reply.

BELL: Fine, until you disturbed it.

I laugh reading her reply and quickly type back. Yeah, I’m not giving up because even though her mouth said one thing, her eyes said another. She’s just fighting more than I expected.

ME: Was I in your dreams?

I hold back a laugh and press send just as there’s a knock at my door. Leaving my phone on the table, I stand and move to the door expecting room service, but I’m disappointed when I find Holly.