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“Never not go

Yes, that trust, it’s coming back.

CHAPT ER NINE

Nix

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I slam the phone down the next afternoon and walk into the hall, kicking the first thing I see—a fuckin’ stool.

“What’s up your ass now?” Jesse asks from the sofa, sitting up from the racket. He just got back to the clubhouse from his trip to Beau, dropping the baby supplies off to the safe house.

“Fuckin’ Red is sick. Just cancelled on me.”

“Cancelled what?” Jesse asks.

“Shit. What about Kadence’s parents?” Brooks joins the conversation, walking out from behind the bar.

“They’re away for the weekend,” I answer, ignoring Jesse.

Fuck.

My fist slams down on the bar in frustration.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jesse moves off the sofa and comes to stand by me.

“There’s always—” Brooks’ nods to Jesse.

“Fuck, no.” I watch as Jesse tries to figure out what we’re talking about.

“He’s your only hope,” Brooks pushes.

“Someone fucking tell me what is happening,” Jesse interrupts again, this time getting Brooks’ attention.

“Nix needs a sitter. You’re it.” Brooks slaps Jesse on the back and walks back to the bar.

“So, you finally need me,” he says, no doubt ready to rub it in.

“No,” I repeat, not in the mood for Jesse’s shit.

“Why not?” He folds his arms across his chest and cocks a brow.

“Yeah, why not? You’re desperate. Everyone’s out or busy,” Brooks repeats Jesse’s question, his grin pissing me off. Fuck, he’s right, and the last thing I want to do is cancel on Kadence.

“Fuck, fine. Can you watch the kids, Jesse?” I ask, watching his shit-eating grin spread wide.

“Ask nicer.”

“Fuck you, Jesse.”

He doesn’t respond, just waits quietly while I rack my brain thinking who else can watch them, but I’ve got nothing. Fuck.

“Fine. Jesse, can you please watch Low and Z?” I practically have to bite the inside of my cheek when asking.

“I have a date, but—” he shrugs, but I stop him from going on.

“No.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“You’re not fucking some whore on my sofa as my kids sleep upstairs.” He watches me carefully. I know he’s fucking with me, but this week has been fucking hell and I need this night with Kadence.

“Fine. I’ll do it for twenty an hour.”

“Fuck off.” I hit him over the head before walking away. “Be at my house at six. Don’t be fuckin’ late,” I warn, heading back into my office. Sometimes I really fucking wonder about the asshole.

“You owe me,” he calls out after me.

“Call it even after the shit you bring me daily.” He doesn’t respond. He gets it.

“Nix, I left the important info on your desk,” Brooks adds before I turn the corner.

“Info?” I look back, confused as hell. He raises his brows, waiting for me to get it. Oh, shit.

“Yep, thanks. Got it.”  I nod, walking back into my office.

“I want di

***

“Ten minutes, Kadence, or we’re go

“I don’t know much about dating, since I’m only eleven, but I don’t think you should do that,” Z says to the TV screen as he plays one of his Xbox games with Jesse.





“Yeah, I’m with you there, bud.” Jesse fist bumps Z while Low sits beside them in her walker.

I ignore my son’s advice ‘cause he’s probably right, and decide to give Jesse one more warning. “You better not fuck this up, Jesse.”

“Nix, language,” Kadence reprimands me.

I turn and watch her take the last few steps down the stairs. “Jesus.” I clear my throat and turn, taking a good look. She’s wearing a pair of black jeans, practically painted on, and an off-the-shoulder top that hugs her tits and shows off her collarbones. Her hair is down in soft curls, just the way I fucking love it.

“Jesus, Joseph, and doggy-style Mary.” Jesse whistles from the sofa.

“Jesse!” Kadence scolds, breaking me from my stare.

“What? I was just giving Nix some words. He looks lost.”

“The kids.” Her eyes bug out, worried Z might have been listening but he’s too focused on the game to pay attention, missing out on the adult conversation.

“I got them, Kadence, all good.” Jesse smiles his stupid smile and goes back to the game. She looks back to me, but I’m still stuck in the moment, relishing what a fucking knockout my wife is.

“You okay?” she asks, picking up her purse.

“Yeah. Just not sure if I’m going to be able to handle you on the back of my bike.”

“We’re taking the bike?” Her voice sounds excited, shocked even.

“Yeah, that okay?”

“It's great.” She smiles and my gut twists. Jesus.

“You remember what I told you, Jesse?” She walks toward Low to say goodbye.

“Yep, got it. You do know I’m a decorated ex-marine, firefighter and badass biker. I got this, sweetheart.”

“I know, I know.” She bends down and kisses Low. I was surprised by her reaction when I told her Red pulled out and Jesse was in. She didn’t seem too worried. I think she likes Jesse more than me some days.

“Okay, let’s go.” She moves to Z, kissing him briefly before coming back to me.

“Call us if you need anything.” I nod to Jesse.

“I got it. Go.”

“Yeah, Dad, go,” Z repeats.

We walk out to my bike in silence. The only sound in the air is Kadence’s fuck-me heels clicking on the pavement.

“You okay?” I ask when I place the helmet on her head.

“Yeah.” She nods but I can see a small amount of unease in her.

“You look fuckin’ beautiful.” I kiss her hard and her hands come around my waist, pulling me closer.

“You look sexy.” She bites at my lip, sending pain from my mouth straight to my dick.

Fuck, I forgot about the fucking pill. “You ready?” I cut the kiss short, pulling back to help her on my bike.

“Where we going?”

“Got us a table at Moda.”

“You got a table at Moda?” Shock laces her voice as a smile graces her face. I can’t blame her for being shocked. A man like me, eating at fucking Moda. I wouldn’t normally, but my woman deserves a special night out, so I’ll eat at the stupid over-priced place.

“Yeah, baby.” I place a kiss on her lips and tap her helmet. She doesn’t reply. The huge grin is enough to tell me I did good.

“Do you think the kids will be okay?’ She looks back at the house. I don’t have to see her face to know she’s freaking a little.

“Yeah, baby. You know I give Jesse shit, but I trust him with my life.”

“Yeah, me too.” She turns back and gives me one of her smiles.

“Let’s go.” I straddle the bike in front of her, reaching my arm back to move her closer.

“Is it weird that I’m nervous?” she whispers close to my ear. I turn my body to face her. Her worries are my worries. Her nerves are mine.

“Baby, you haven’t been on the back of my bike in over a year. I’d say it’s normal.” I try to reassure her, but my words do the opposite.

“Has it been that long?”

“Yeah,” I nod, hating the truth of that one word.

“Damn.” She looks down at her hands. I twist further around, forcing her chin up with my finger.

“There’s been a lot of things we haven’t done this year, baby, and that’s okay. We don’t have to rush. We’ve got forever.” I lean in and kiss her.