Affliction

“What are you ladies doing here?” Nix asks, pulling Kadence to him and claiming her mouth.

“We needed to surround ourselves with some sexy men after the gifts you sent us,” I inform them, smiling over at Brooks and Beau, before finally turning my gaze to Sy and glaring. His eyes narrow, watching me carefully, but he doesn’t respond. The whore has now moved in close to another guy, but that’s beside the point.

“You like the naughty nurse we hired for you?” Nix laughs. “It was Jesse’s idea,” he adds. Of course, it was fucking Jesse’s idea.

“I’m serious, Nix. Why the fuck is Tina here?” Kadence says, becoming more pissed off by the minute. I look over at Tina to catch her glaring at my best friend and decide she needs to be gone.

“If I were you, I would be leaving right now,” I call out, getting her attention.

“Well, luckily, you’re not me,” she sneers back and I take a step forward, ready to show her just how much she wishes she were me.

“Tina, take a hike,” Nix says, looking down at Kadence, but ordering it loud enough she gets the hint. Tina stands at Nix’s command and walks outside, probably to go and bother some other guy.

“Oh look, she’s like a pet, obeying your command,” Kadence says when Tina’s gone, making us all giggle at her snide remark.

“You’re fuckin’ hot when you’re jealous,” I hear Nix tell Kadence and I can already see her caving.

“Oh, no you don’t, Kadence. One, he ruined our sexy stripper experience and two, it’s still technically your bachelorette party. No Nix-fix for you.” I take her hand and drag her away from him.

“But he’s so sexy,” she complains while I shove a shot her way.

“Don’t be swayed by the sexiness. We are still pissy,” I remind her, but she has that love look in her eyes, and I know I’m speaking to a brick wall. Payback was a stupid idea.

“Right, we are pissy.” She shakes herself out of it, giving me a little hope.

“I’m stepping out on the payback. My man looks sexy as hell over there, and I need me some of that,” Kelly says, moving away to go to her husband.

“She’s weak. Don’t listen to her,” I tell Kadence, but even as I say it, I know she's torn. I look over at Nix and see him smirking at her. I know she’s a goner when he crooks a finger at her. She holds steady before I let her off the hook.

“Go,” I sigh, defeated. She doesn’t even skip a beat and goes to her man. Dammit.

I look over at Sy and he’s still watching me. Fuck. Coming here was a bad idea. I should have just gone back to my place. Not wanting to out our friendship tonight, I turn back to the bar and force myself to ignore him.

“Hunter, my main man.” I smile at him and take a seat. “So, how is your night going?” I ask, hoping he will play along. I know I’m playing a dangerous game with Sy; ignoring him while he sits there watching me, but what does he expect me to do?

Hunter leans in and whispers so only I can hear, “I’m not fucking dumb. I nearly got my ass beat last time you played this game, Holly.” I don’t know how to respond at first. Is Sy watching right now? Tilting my head back, I let out a laugh pretending he just said something fu

“You fucking owe me for that, Holly,” he warns before stepping away. Shit. Quickly turning back to the room, I see Sy move from the sofa and stalk over to where I sit. I don’t have time to run away before he’s in my space.

“You better hope you’re drunk right now, ‘cause if you’re fucking playing games sober, you’re go

Oh. My. God.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply, standing and excusing myself. I can’t be around him at the moment, especially when he says things like that in my ear. Walking away is the only option, until he follows me and drags me into the hallway, trapping me against the wall, and bringing my hands above my head.

“How much have you had to drink?” he grills, leaning into me.

“What’s it to you?” I fire back.

“I need to know if I can fuck this attitude out of you, or if I should be letting you sleep it off,” he growls, pushing his hard cock against me.

I repeat, Oh. My. God.

“Why does it matter if I’m drunk or not?” I ask, openly letting the idea of Sy’s angry fuck entice me. We’ve been teetering on the next step all week. I know he wants to; hell, in the heat of our makeouts I want to.

“Oh, it matters, Holly. When I take you, you won't be drunk, and I won't be angry.”

“But I like angry sex,” I challenge, not understanding why he’s angry. I’m the one who should be angry.

“Oh, I do, too. But fuck, baby, I don’t want you to be able to blame the alcohol.” He dips his head and takes a deep breath of me.

“Why are you always saving me, Sy?” I wonder, probably ruining the moment, but I need to know. How did this man go from not even giving a fuck about me to making sure I’m safe, or that I’m not drunk so he’s not taking advantage of me?

“Someone has to, Holly,” he says, curling his finger around a stray hair.

“Maybe I don’t need saving,” I mutter, feeling brave as I push off the wall and walk toward his room. I might be drunk, but we can do other things.

“Don’t ever say that, Holly.” His harsh grip stops me, spi

PAST

Sy

“I can't deal with this anymore, Katie,” I tell her from the window, trying to find the words that need to be said. “There's only so much I can deal with. I can't make you want to live and I can't keep bringing you back.”

“I told you to stop trying,” she fires back. “I don’t want to fucking live, so stop trying to fucking save me!” she screams while her mother sobs from beside her.

“You don't mean that,” her father says, taking her bandaged arm. It's her fifth attempt to end her life, and I don't understand how she keeps failing. No, that's not true; I know why. She's addicted to it. Addicted to the pain.

“Don't fucking touch me. I don't want you all here. I don't even want to be here.” She thrashes from side to side, pushing her family away.

“Get the nurse in here,” I tell her sister as I come forward to try and calm her.

“I hate you. I fucking hate you all so much. Let me go to her. It's your fault,” she spits, thumping into my chest. I don't correct her. I don't stop her; instead, I let her release her anger. I've been where she's at; I've felt that extreme anguish and pain that feels like someone is tearing you open. The only difference is I've moved past that soul breaking feeling. It never leaves you; I've just learnt how to not let it destroy you. She hasn't.

The doctor comes in, the nurse following behind. I don't watch as they fill her line with something that will only bring on darkness. I just hold on to her, knowing that this will be the last time. I can't do this anymore. I can't help her when she won’t help herself. She holds on for a moment longer, putting up a substantial fight before the drugs take over and pull her away. Laying her down, I step back from the bed.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” her mom asks, sweeping the hair back off Katie’s face.

“If I don't, then she's only going to bring me down with her,” I tell them. They might not get it, but they see it. They see the fucked-up situation I'm trying to get through. My child is dead, buried two years ago, a child who wasn't mine by blood. Every day I'm reminded of that while her mother throws her life away. I stayed as a promise, but at what cost? I can't help her. She's like my personal cancer, spreading through me and tearing me apart.