Rip

She was remembering, albeit slowly. I had a decision to make. If I hypnotized her again, I risked more trauma to her limbic system, the implications of what could happen were enough to make me pause. Hell, I really was developing a damn conscience if I was suddenly toying with the idea of letting it go.

Maya was a sobbing mess. Her eyes frantic, her breathing slow. She would remember nothing once I put her to sleep, at least I could do that for her, make her sleep. Mentally, she was exhausted; physically, her body couldn’t take much more, because whenever an individual revisited specific traumatic events in their subconscious, the body physically responded as if it was happening all over again, triggering the amygdala into a fight or flight response.

Maya ducked her head against my neck. “I’m so embarrassed. I fell asleep.”

“It happens to all of us,” I said smoothly. The reality of what we were doing finally hit me full force. How the hell was I supposed to keep her false memories intact if just being with me was causing her to relapse? It had nothing to do with sex, as I’d originally thought, because I wasn’t touching her.

Kissing wouldn’t be a strong enough trigger.

Sex should be the only thing that would be strong enough to trigger the memory.

And the only way for me to test that theory.

Hell.

She wouldn’t remember it in the morning, my brain taunted me, reminding me that I was doing it for her own good. Protecting her, saving her. Besides, with the way she was already arching against me, the part of her subconscious that I’d just unleashed… wanted it. I wasn’t sure if I should be even more disgusted with myself or thrilled.

It would be too much of a risk.

Because if she had a breakdown on the plane, I had a feeling her father would find out, I had a feeling he truly did have eyes everywhere, it wasn’t a controlled environment. I wasn’t comfortable with it.

Damn it.

I had a suspicious nature.

I wondered, had he seen signs at home? Was this the reason he finally allowed me to have her? Because he knew I would fail? Because I was just another loose end he would finally be able to shut up?

Too many thoughts.

Too many possibilities that made me suddenly thankful we were flying into Chicago, because the only men who would potentially help me, were the Italians, and I understood, in that moment… that I was going to have to call in that favor from the Nicolasi boss. Dread spread throughout my chest, causing my once sluggish heartbeat to pick up speed. I needed to maintain control. Too many emotions were warring with one another. The plan had never been to bring Maya into the lion’s den and ask her to calmly accept the simple fate that she had more in common with them than the average person.

I felt warm wet lips against my neck. She wasn’t acting like herself. In reality, without the drug, would she kiss me? Possibly. Would she be the one all over me? No. She’d rather slit my throat.

“Maya.” My voice came out hoarse and raspy. “Why don’t you sleep?”

I shifted her in my arms, ready to hypnotize her with one of her triggers. Years ago I’d implanted several mental viruses. That was the easiest way to explain it. A person could live their entire lives with hypnotic messages or viruses built into their subconscious, just waiting for someone of my expertise to step in and build on them or simply call them forward. I was the best at what I did, so naturally, I made safeguards, at the time, selfishly needing to protect my name, keep myself from getting killed as well as Maya.

History.

Was repeating.

And I wasn’t sure I would be able to save us both again, or at all.

I opened my mouth to start the trance, when her mouth suddenly pressed against mine, hot, hungry, open. Her hands intertwined with my hair, as her fingers dug into my skull. With an aggressive tug, she nearly pulled us both out of the chair and onto the plane floor.

“I want you,” she whispered against my lips, her tongue rimming my lower lip before making its way back into my mouth adding just the perfect amount of pressure to drive me insane.

“Maya…” I tried to pull away, even though I wanted nothing more than to give into every damn feeling I’d had through the years I’d spent hidden in the shadows, watching, waiting. Keeping my emotions on lockdown around her had been more than painful. At times it had felt impossible. And now it was dangerous.

Maya stopped kissing me then pressed her forehead against mine, her lips brushing mine as she spoke. “You make me feel safe.”

Shit. I closed my eyes. “Maya, you’ve had a lot of wine, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“But I do.” She moved in my lap, wiggling against me in ways that aroused me beyond what I already had been.

I bit down on my tongue to keep from groaning. Her laugh, sensuous and low, made my every nerve fire, every muscle jump.

“I can feel it, you want me too.”

“What man wouldn’t desire you?”

She gave me her back, her ass positioned directly over me as she dug her heels into the ground and moved hard against me. The seat blocked any sort of escape, and my body wanted nothing more than to allow her to rub up and down until I couldn’t take it anymore and either screwed her or died wanting to.

“Please…” Maya arched back against me. “You feel so good, you make me feel good.”

I let out a hiss as she stopped moving and reached for my belt buckle.  My hips drove up as she pulled the leather causing an erotic explosive friction between our two bodies. She tugged again, sliding my belt from its loop. At this point she was still sitting on me, doing her best work without actually looking at her hands.

“Nik…” She was using my nickname. Only two people called me Nik. My grandmother and Andi.

My dead friend.

Sadness washed over me again.

When had I stopped being normal? Had I ever been normal? A normal man could take the woman he cared for without regret.

Without wondering if it would be the last decision he ever made before someone else he cared about died.

Maya was getting restless in my lap. The wine mixed with the drug was most likely causing her to lose all inhibition. Under normal circumstances, I would put her in bed or lock her in her bedroom.

But we were on a jet.

Unless I put a parachute on her and went tandem, we had one option. The one and only bedroom that I was already pla

“Let’s go,” I stood, she slid off of me, nearly melting into a puddle on the floor before I lifted her into my arms and walked us back toward the bedroom, slamming the door behind me as I gently placed her on the bed.

Face flushed, Maya lifted her shirt and pulled it off her head, tossing it directly at my face before falling back onto her elbows and thrusting her chest forward. “Kiss me?”

She looked so beautiful.

And I was a man.

A man who had wanted her even when it was forbidden, wanted her still.

I reached for her. “How about we make a deal?”

“Like a game?” Her eyebrows lifted. “I didn’t take you for the type.”

“Let’s just say you bring it out in me.” I confessed, trying not to let my gaze linger too long on the swell of her breasts.

“I’m in.” Maya laughed softly. “What’s the game.”

“You know how I like rules.” I sobered. “There are only two.”

“Two, huh?” She bit down on her bottom lip. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“First rule… no talking.”

“Okay.”

“Second rule.” I smirked. “First scream loses.”

Maya pushed off the bed then stood up on her tiptoes, her lips brushing my ear as she whispered. “You’re on.”

Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie.—Russian Proverb