Lies Unspoken

“He won’t fire you,” she decides after processing it all.

“You don’t know him.”

“From everything you’ve told me, Lila, he likes you. He’s not going to jeopardize that as long as he thinks he has a chance. Besides, he can’t fire you; it’s sexual harassment.”

She’s right . . . about everything. I hate and love her for it.

I’m about to ask her for some Blake advice when Charlie slaps his palm against the bar. “Are you ladies ready to work now? Just because it’s Lila’s last night doesn’t mean you can fuck around.”

“Sorry, Charlie. We’re just catching up,” I reply.

“Finish later. Two tables walked in while you hens were clucking.”

Turning around, I immediately spot the new table of thirty-somethings looking our way, but the other is harder to find.

“Did you know he was coming?” Dana asks, bumping her shoulder against mine.

“Who?” Still sca

She points to the far corner, the one partially hidden by the entryway. “There.”

He looks lost, staring blankly out the window. I wonder what he’s thinking about—if it’s her or me or no one at all.

“Do you want me to grab him?” Dana asks, cutting through my thoughts.

“I’ll take it,” I say, pushing away from the bar without another word.

My ears ring as I slowly weave my way through the tables. I have so many questions.

“Hi,” I say quietly, taking a seat across from him.

Blake’s eyes briefly lock with mine then out the window again. “Do you need a ride home tonight?”

I shake my head then realize he probably can’t see me. “No. It’s my last night so Dana wants to sit around and have a drink or two.”

His mood hasn’t changed much since we got home last night.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, needing to carve into the silence.

He studies me like we’ve never met before. “Ask me,” he finally says.

I hate seeing him like this—a mess of emotions I can’t place.

“About last night . . . I can tell you’re dying to know more, so ask me,” he continues.

Shaking my head, I say, “Not here, Blake. Not right now.”

He pounds his fist against the table. “Now!”

I hesitate, because deep inside I know he won’t handle this well. One question, and I’ll be done . . . he’ll be done with me. “Where is she?”

“She’s gone. She left me,” he says, eyes never leaving mine.

That makes sense, I guess. Why mention her if she’s no longer in the picture? “Are you still in love with her?” I ask, knowing I’m pushing my luck.

“I love her, but I’m not in love with her. There’s a difference.”

Truer words have never been spoken; I know that from experience. Love comes in many forms, and once you feel it for someone, I don’t think it’s possible to ever completely let it go. It lingers in its most simple state, taking a permanent place in your heart.

“I’m sorry,” I reply when nothing else comes to mind.

He pulls his hair between his fingers. “Don’t be. Just bring me a bottle of Absolut.”

“A bottle?”

“Yes,” he answers on edge. He dismisses me by staring out the window again. Maybe I should be angry about him coming here, but I can’t be. Not when he’s finally turning the pages of his story, answering some of my questions about why he is the way he is. Besides, friends stick by each other’s sides, even when things aren’t picture perfect.

I leave him alone, walking back to the bar to read Charlie Blake’s order for self-medication. “Did you tell him how much it’s going to cost?” he asks, standing on his toes to grab a bottle from the top shelf.

“I don’t think he cares. Besides, this one’s on me.”

“Well, in that case, I suggest you get your ass out to your tables a little more often to earn your tips.” Charlie’s not joking either.

“Thanks for the advice. Can I get a shot glass too?” I ask, tightly gripping the neck of the bottle in my hand. Someone’s bound to bump into me, and I can’t exactly afford another. Charlie slams a glass on the counter; I grab that too.

My palms sweat against the glass as I make my way back over to Blake. His eyes follow me like a stalker in the night, yet I want his attention. I want to know he’s thinking about me.

“Here,” I a

He wastes no time twisting the lid off the vodka bottle and filling his glass. He throws it back, and tops it off again. “Have you ever been in love?” he asks.

“Once,” I answer, taking the seat next to him so I can keep an eye on things at the bar.

He grips my chair, pulling it closer until our knees touch. Then he takes his second shot. The alcohol doesn’t seem to faze him. “What happened?”

“He decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

He nods, pouring more of the clear liquid in his glass. “Well, he’s an idiot.”

When he goes to lift the glass to his lips again, I grab hold of his wrist. I’m not willing to watch him self-destruct. He’s just going to wake up tomorrow in this same messed up state; the alcohol only temporarily drowns the memories. “Take it easy.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Don’t get what?” I ask.

He frees his hand from my grip, knocking back another shot.

“You’re the type of woman that men don’t know they want until they’ve already fallen. You’re there, and then you’re just . . . everywhere.”

I swallow, fumbling for words. I heard what he said, but processing it is a bit harder. I ask the first thing that comes to mind. “And is that the type of woman Alyssa is?”

His mouth falls open, but he quickly recovers. “No, that was a conscious fall.”

I nod, debating which could possibly be better. I start to ask another question, but Charlie shouts my name from behind the bar. After waving him off, I turn back to Blake. “I need to get back to work.”

He swirls his shot glass around, eyeing it like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I’ll wait.”

Because I know there’s nothing I can do to free the glass from his hand, I walk away without trying. Tomorrow morning, or even trying to get him home tonight, is going to be a challenge.

I busy myself with drink orders and bussing tables. As the night wears on, my pockets fill with cash, and the room slowly begins to empty.

“I barely got to talk to you tonight,” Dana remarks as she helps me clear my last table.

“My last night would be the busiest. At least Charlie hasn’t had time to convince me to stay, because with all the cash in my pocket, he’d have a good chance.”

She laughs. “Maybe I should go tell him because I’m a selfish bitch, and I want you to stay.”

Narrowing my eyes at her, I say, “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t test me.”

“Closing time, ladies! Let’s get this place cleaned up so I can get to bed!” Charlie yells across the room.

As I turn with a full tray in my hand, I notice Blake’s still sitting in the back corner. He looks like shit—slouched shoulders, head buried in his hands.

“You still up for a couple drinks?” Dana asks, coming up behind me.

I look back at Blake, slumped over, and my conscience pulls at me. “I need to get him home. Can I get a rain check?”

She sighs. “Need me to give you a ride?”

“If you don’t mind. I don’t think he’s up for the walk.”

“Get him moving. I’m going to grab our coats and clock us out,” she says, taking the full tray from my hands.

I walk to him slowly, like I might wake an angry un-caged lion if I make a sound. His head comes up, but then slumps forward again.

Upon closer inspection, I note the liquor bottle is empty. I’ll be lucky if he can even walk his ass out of here. “Blake,” I say softly.

He lifts his eyes but nothing more.

“Let’s get you home.” I cradle his elbow in my hands, but he’s almost twice my size. Unless I suddenly get Superman’s powers, this isn’t going to work.