Black Sun

“You can give those to another patient,” she said happily. “I’m getting out of here.”

“Okay,” the man said in a surprised tone.

She recognized his voice.

“Marcus?” she said, spi

He looked good, looked fit. Serious as always.

“I blackmailed Arnold,” he said. “I wanted to make sure I came to see you.”

“Why?” she said. “I mean not why. It’s just I’m … I’m getting out. I would have come to see you tomorrow.”

She felt her equilibrium tumble. She had pla

“A couple of times,” he said. “It’s been eight months.”

He moved toward her and they embraced and still she didn’t know what to say.

Hawker thanked the nurse for not throwing his watch and his pen away. That was the extent of his things.

“It doesn’t work,” she said, pointing to the watch.

He knew that. In fact the dial was cracked, the hands frozen at the exact time of the blast. For reasons he found hard to explain he didn’t want to let it go. It was proof of what had happened. Proof that man had done some good to his fellow man, despite what must have been a horrendous cost.

“It works for me,” he said.

She gave him a look that said he was even crazier than she thought and he stepped out of the room and headed down the hall.

—————

Danielle sat on the bed. Marcus sat beside her, holding her hand. It felt so familiar and yet strange at the same time.

“So much has happened,” she said. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Who was it that took you?” he asked.

She was about to answer but caught the words in her throat. He wasn’t part of the institute anymore; he wasn’t cleared to know.

“Right,” he said. “This again.”

She gazed at him, her eyes asking for some slack.

He seemed to get the message. “I have something for you,” he said. “I know I handled things badly when you left but now that you’re back …”

He pulled out a small case. She knew it held a ring.

She did not reach for it.

“I know we fought about the job,” he said, “and about you going back. But now that—whatever you were doing is over—we won’t have anything to cause those arguments anymore.”

Her mind whirled. He was right about all that, but she didn’t want to do this now. She needed a minute.

“I said a lot of things that were cruel,” she began. “I was angry at you for not supporting me.”

“I didn’t want you to go, because I was worried about you and I didn’t like being left behind. So I’m sure I was just as much in the wrong as you.”

Maybe time did change things. They were finally saying the right words instead of just trying to win the argument.

“You know this can be good,” he added. “You know it was, before our egos got in the way.”

He opened the case. Of course, the diamond was perfect.

On his way to the elevator Hawker passed the nurse’s station. All smiles for him. “Having a good day?” he asked.

“You’re leaving,” one of them said. “We’re ready to party.”

He had to laugh.

He stepped into the elevator and rode it down to the first floor. From there he walked to Danielle’s room. Hearing her talking to someone, he glanced inside. They were sitting on the bed holding hands.

He pulled back quickly, surprised, stu

Moore stepped past him and peeked into the room, then came back to where Hawker stood.

“Bad timing,” Hawker said.

“There’s some history there,” Moore advised. “I’d tread lightly if I were you.”

Hawker clenched his jaw as the reality of the situation crashed in on him. Things happened when people were under pressure and far from home, but the normal world was something different. He wanted to talk with Danielle, tell her how he felt, most of which she already knew or guessed at. But what would that lead to? She was getting out and lining up on final approach for a normal life, one without blood and death and destruction around every corner. Just as he’d suggested she should. How the hell could he ask her not to?

“Might be better if I don’t tread at all,” he said.

Moore nodded, noncommittal. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down the hall. “You make a decision?”

“Yeah, I’m in,” Hawker said, making it that moment. “Send me on my way.”

Moore pulled a passport wallet from his coat. “Instructions are in there, along with new ID and papers,” he said. “We have a car waiting outside, and a ticket for you to Miami. Transport will be standing by.”

Hawker studied Moore. He had a new sense of the man. He guessed they’d argue plenty over the next five years. But at least he knew he could trust him.

“I’ll give you your money back,” he said. “When the five years are up.”

“Interest?” Moore asked.

“Probably not.”

Moore shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”

Hawker took the papers. “Don’t you drag her back in,” he warned.

“Once was too often,” Moore assured him.

Hawker nodded and then reluctantly started for the far door. “Tell her I said goodbye.”

“I will,” Moore promised.

Danielle pulled the ring from the case. The facets caught the light and it sparkled almost like the Brazil stone. It was awfully pretty. But pretty things did not move her anymore. Never really had. She pushed it away.

“I don’t want you to be angry,” she said.

He looked as if he was. But it didn’t matter. She’d decided something in San Ignacio, even before she’d kissed Hawker. It had to do with living for the future.

“I went back to the NRI because I had to,” she said, stating her original position. “But also because I wanted to.”

“Why?” he asked.

“You like your life,” she said. “You like teaching, and your friends, and the university. You like the consulting work and the lobbying firm. But for me those things were just okay.”

“You’ll get used to them,” he said.

“I don’t want to get used to anything,” she said.

He inhaled a deep breath and looked away, as if trying to hold back.

“I don’t feel pity for you,” she said. “You have almost everything you want in life. You got shot and almost died and instead of crawling into a hole you’re in the world building an empire. The only thing about your life that brings you pain is me.”

“That’s not always the case,” he said with conviction.

“No, not always,” she said. “But it shouldn’t ever be. If I stay and live your life, I will resent you forever, because this isn’t where I belong. And if I continue with the NRI, you will always worry about me and always be reminded of what happened to you. I don’t want either of those things.”

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “But until I find it I’m not willing to give up the search.”

He looked as if he was about to launch into the full-court press, the all-out effort to change her mind, but he didn’t. Reluctantly, he put the ring away, closed the box, and stood up. A long moment of silence followed. “You win,” he said finally.

“No one wins,” she said. He leaned toward her. They hugged and he walked out.

She watched him go, knowing she’d hurt him again, but feeling like she had finally done the right thing for everyone including herself. She gathered up the rest of her belongings, walked out and down the hall. Moore waited there for her.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, certain of it for the first time in a while. “I am.”

“I saw Marcus leave,” he said. “You not going home?”

“The NRI is my home,” she said. “And I’m grabbing on with both hands.”