Every Wrong Reason

“If only life was all about the things we want to do.”

“You are the worst guidance counselor ever.”

She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared into her office, throwing over her shoulder, “You don’t mean that. I saved your marriage!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. She was absolutely ridiculous.

And I loved her for it.

She might not have saved my marriage, but she definitely saved me when I thought my marriage was over.

Maybe she wasn’t the worst guidance counselor ever. That might have been a slight exaggeration.

I lifted my head and stumbled to a stop when I saw Eli Cohen watching me intently from the table beside our mailboxes. He was perched on the edge of it, with legs stretched out and ankles crossed. His arms were folded over his chest and his thick-framed glasses in place, hiding his eyes from me.

“Hello, Mr. Cohen,” I said, hoping for casual. We had never regained the friendship we’d lost after our inauspicious coffee date. Things had been strained and forced ever since.

It was strange to me because I thought our friendship had been real. But it was hard to sort out now since he had avoided me like the plague ever since he realized I wasn’t interested in him romantically.

And I honestly didn’t want to dissect it too much.

“Hi, Kate. How are you?” His smile was genuine, even as his gaze drifted to my small, round belly.

At the end of June, I was only three months along, but there was a small enough bump to make it clear that I was pregnant. The kids had been out of school for three weeks, but teachers still hung around, working on their classrooms or teaching summer school.

I was packing up my classroom, as I would be taking a couple years off. I had a baby to raise. A family to focus on.

A husband to let take care of me.

“I’m good,” I told him honestly. I allowed a smile and repeated, “I’m really good.”

“You look good, Kate.” His head tilted to indicate all of me. Just as I started to feel slightly uncomfortable, he added, “I’ve meant to tell you something, it’s just I’ve always felt a bit awkward about it. But, I wanted to say that I’m happy for you. I really am. I’m glad everything worked out with Nick. It was obvious you were never over him.”

My smile stayed in place. I felt his authenticity and I respected it. “Thank you, Eli. I appreciate that.”

“Good luck with the baby,” he added. “You’ll be a great mom.”

He stood up and strode from the room before I could say anything else. But I found that I didn’t really have anything else to say. It was nice to have that chapter closed, but it hadn’t been necessary.

I did hope the best for him, though. I hoped he could one day move on from his own heartbreak and find someone else. I hoped he could find someone that fit him, that loved him as much as he deserved.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Nick was here. I texted to tell him to meet me in my classroom, then gathered the last papers from my mailbox.

I walked back to my room slowly, savoring the smell of metal lockers and floor polish. There was a mustiness that clung to the building that usually made me wrinkle my nose. But now I realized it smelled like school to me. This was how I would always define Hamilton.

And I knew I would miss it.

I had been here for nine years, just a little longer than I had been married. Unlike my marriage, though, it was time to close this door. It was time to move on.

For now.

I thought about Jay Allen and knew I would eventually be back. I couldn’t give this up forever. But for now, it was the right thing to do for my family.

I smiled to myself. God, it felt good to say that.

Nick and I had made so much progress over the last three months. Not because we were forcing it because of the baby, but because we both wanted progress. We both wanted to heal and create a safe, comfortable home for our little one.

We both wanted each other and this marriage and real, authentic happiness.

And finally, after everything that had happened, we had it.

In April, we had celebrated our eighth wedding a

Two days later we found out I was pregnant.

Nobody had been more surprised than us when we found out about the baby. But nobody had been more overjoyed either.

We were seeing a counselor too. We wanted to heal from our past and move forward with the tools we needed to succeed. I taught my students that knowledge was power. Not because you could rule with it, but because it prepared you for the future and equipped you for whatever was to come.

I had taken that advice to heart and applied it to our marriage. We were growing closer and closer together every day, but there was still a lot of work to be done and neither Nick nor I knew what the future would hold.

We wanted to be prepared.

We wanted to be ready to stand side by side and face whatever the world threw at us together.

Sometimes I wondered if I fell in love with him for all the wrong reasons. But I also knew I had wanted to leave him for all the wrong reasons too.

The only thing that mattered now though was that I wanted to stay with him for the right reasons.

That we used those reasons to choose to love each other and choose to stay together no matter what obstacles we faced.

I loved him.

I would always choose to love him.

And he would do the same for me.

“What are you smiling about?” His voice drifted in from the doorway, where he leaned against the frame watching me.

“You,” I told him honestly. “Us.”

He walked toward me, a slow, prowling gait that gave me butterflies in all the right places. “Those are good things to smile about.” He reached me, swooping down to kiss my hands that rested on my belly. When he stood up again, his eyes shimmered with adoration, “That’s a good thing to smile about too.”

I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist. His hands held me to him, one of them rubbing a soothing pattern over my back.

“Are you going to miss this place?” he asked gently.

I nodded against his chest. “Yes, eventually. But I’m going to love staying home too. At least for a little while.”

“I’m going to love you staying home too,” he chuckled. “You can make me lunch every day and iron my clothes.”

I pinched his nipple and made him yelp. “You can make your own lunch,” I scolded. “I will iron your clothes, though. It’s cheaper that way.”

He let out a bark of laughter. “It’s true. I get tired of buying new shirts every time I ruin one.”

“You’re a smart man, Nicholas. I don’t know why you can’t figure out an iron.”

I felt his smile when he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “It’s just one of the many reasons I need you, Katie. Don’t ever leave me.”

I lifted my face to meet his gaze. “Never,” I promised.

He squeezed me tighter to him. “I love you.”

His words were powerful. So powerful I felt them in my very core, in the very heart of me. I felt them as something permanent and lasting. I felt them as an oath, an unerring truth… as the conviction I lived my life with.

He was my husband.

He loved me.

He would always love me.

That was reason enough for me to love him back.

“I love you too.”

He kissed me slowly, lazily and so not appropriate for school. Then he helped me pack up nine years of teaching and we drove home to start the next chapter of our lives.

Together.

Look for Rachel’s next contemporary romance, The Opposite of You, coming January 26, 2016!