Every Wrong Reason

“Seems like everybody needs to get out of the house today,” Mrs. Du

I couldn’t help but smile. Mrs. Du

I looked across the street as the basketball hit the rim of the hoop and bounced backward. It rolled off the end of the driveway and into the street. I watched in horror as the littlest girl ran for the ball just as a car came zooming down the street, way too fast for a neighborhood.

I threw my hands up to warn her to stop, but her older brother grabbed the back of her shirt just in time. I sucked in a gasping breath because my nightmare wasn’t over.

When I’d panicked about the little girl, I dropped the leash. A

I watched it all in a slow-motion nightmare. The car couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. I heard her pained yelp and leaped into motion. I followed her into the street, scooping her up in my arms as I sunk to my knees on the damp, cold pavement. She was filthy from our walk and soaking wet. Blood mingled with her wet, dirty fur, turning it a sickly brown color.

I sunk my fingers into her sticky coat, beyond terrified that she had died, that the monster in the car had killed her. Her little lungs trembled with the effort to breath. They shook in her small chest while her head rolled listlessly in my arms.

I ripped off her leash and the new collar Nick had bought her. I couldn’t figure out where she was bleeding from or what exactly was wrong with her. My mind spun and spun and spun and all I could do was panic. I was useless. Stupid. Completely hysterical. Nothing but terror and dread.

I could barely see her through my tears. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I needed to do something. I had to do something. But what? Not my A

Please, not my A

Please please please please.

I needed Nick. Oh, god. Nick would know what to do.

The driver got out of his murder machine and tried to talk to me, but I was too frantic to make sense of anything he said. Mrs. Du

Poor A

I rocked her as gently as I could. I couldn’t let her die. The rational part of my brain told me to move, told me to get up and do something. But the fear of losing the one thing left that loved me so completely was too heavy. Too consuming.

“Kate, who can I call?” Mrs. Du

“Nick,” I gasped. “I need to call Nick.” I reached into the pocket of my coat with my clean hand and with shaking fingers I punched the right buttons.

I cooed to A

Finally, on the second try, he answered. “Hello?”

“Nick,” I cried. “It’s A

“Kate?” He sounded so confused, but I needed him to get this. Now.

“She’s been hit by a car,” I sobbed.

“Wait, what? A

“Yes!” My voice was a wretched sob from my chest. A

“Is she alive?”

“Barely.”

“Where are you?” His tone changed from fear to decision in a second. I closed my eyes against a fresh wave of tears. These ones were relief. I knew he would take charge. I knew he would know what to do.

“I’m in front of our house. It just happened. I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”

He cursed under his breath. “It’s five-thirty, it will take me forty-five minutes to get to you with traffic. Is there someone there that can drive you? I can meet you at the vet.”

I looked up at Mrs. Du

“Of course, I can,” she said quickly. I noticed her exchanging information with the stranger, but I couldn’t even look at him.

He’d nearly killed A

I knew I would eventually calm down, but I couldn’t right now. I needed to know she would be okay first.

“Mrs. Du

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, Katie. I swear.”

“Thank you.”

“Go,” he ordered. “Get her some help.”

“Tell me it’s going to be okay,” I cried. “Tell me she’s going to be okay.”

His voice pitched low with sincerity and promise. “Kate, everything is going to be okay.”

I stood up and followed Mrs. Du

----

An hour later I had been banished to the vet waiting room and my tears had turned into sickening panic that crushed my insides and turned everything into mucky goo.

God, I was a mess.

But I could not lose A

The vet hadn’t given me good news, but he hadn’t given bad either. I looked around the bright waiting room and blinked against the utter whiteness of it.

We had been coming here since we first got A

She’d wrapped her ice-cold fingers around my forearm and smiled patiently. “A

She had walked me to the receptionist who had asked if there was someone she could call for me.

“My husband’s on his way,” I had explained. It hadn’t felt like a lie. It hadn’t even felt weird. Nick was still my husband. Maybe not for much longer. But today I needed him in his husband role.

Besides, I wasn’t sure if there was a family only policy. I didn’t want him to be ba

Did they do that here?

My head swam and I plunked down on the white plastic waiting room chair. White had always seemed like a bizarre choice for a place animals trotted into on a daily basis. And this wasn’t just any white. It wasn’t off-white or dull-white or faded-white. This was white white. The kind of white that reminded me of bleached teeth and black lights.

How did they get it this white?

How did they keep it this white?

“Kate?” Nick was suddenly kneeling in front of me, his warm hands gentle and comforting on my thighs. “How are you holding up?”

I swallowed roughly and stared into his ocean blue eyes. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t say the words. I shook my head in a frightened way and a few more fresh tears slipped out.

“Come here,” he murmured, pulling me against his solid chest.

I threw my arms around his neck and didn’t let go, even when he wobbled unsteadily. He caught us, pulling me to my feet so we could press against each other.

One of his arms wrapped around my waist and held me tightly to him, while his other hand palmed my nape, his fingers trailing through my hair. I buried my face against his neck and trembled against him.

“Can you tell me what happened?” His voice was a low rumble that cascaded over my skin like a warm caress. I felt his chest vibrate with his words and the flex of his fingertips against my side.

Pieces of me that had started to fragment, to break off and float away like I was some kind of shipwrecked rocket in space, found purchase in the gravity of Nick’s presence. All of these scarred, jagged splinters returned to their home and I became whole once more.