Every Wrong Reason

Walking in tonight, with Mr. Bunch, the art teacher, at the mic screaming out Tainted Love, I realized my mistake.

If we ever wondered why we had trouble relating to our students… this might be it.

The very reason.

“Let’s get a drink!” Kara shouted over Mr. Bunch’s shrieking warble.

“Please!”

She smiled at me, laughter dancing in her eyes and led the way through the crush of sweaty bodies and rickety tables. The polished wooden bar took up the length of one side of the main room. Two bartenders worked relentlessly to fill pint glasses and mix cocktails. I breathed a sigh of anticipation and tried not to dwell on how much I was pla

It’s Wednesday, I reminded myself.

I can’t teach with a hangover, I lectured.

Gimmegimme gimme, my brain chanted, ignoring every good and well-intentioned reason to stay sober.

Kara leaned over the counter and ordered two whiskey and diets. I could have kissed her when she handed me the sweating tumbler filled with dark liquid. I took a sip and closed my eyes against the burning coolness as it slid down my throat.

The cheap whiskey went straight to my head. I took another sip and the burn spread from my throat to my limbs, searing through my blood and making my fingers tingle. I opened my eyes and licked my already wet lips.

Sucking in a deep breath, I waded through the tension that knotted in my neck and tied my stomach in tangles. I wouldn’t really medicate with alcohol, but it was tempting. It was tempting to do anything to get rid of these feelings, these doubts and fears. This pain and self-involved misery.

“He’s watching you,” Kara a

I became instantly alert, my eyes sca

“Eli,” she answered happily. “He’s near the stage!”

Eli. I shook my head. I wasn’t expecting that. Or him. Or for Kara to notice. I found him across the room, sitting at a small table with one of our co-workers. His usually-tamed hair was tousled and wild, his glasses tucked away out of sight. He didn’t bother to turn away. He kept his dark eyes trained right on me.

Something warm burst to life in my belly. I fidgeted uncomfortably on my low heels and tried not to give myself away.

“Let’s go over there,” Kara yelled.

I could hear the smile in her voice, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“God, you’re such a party pooper tonight!”

I tore my gaze from Eli’s and met my best friend’s. “He’s hot, Kara.”

Her smile returned. “I know, right!”

I shook my head. I could feel the fear throw cold water all over the whiskey’s delicious heat. “I don’t know what to do with this.”

Her shoulders rose with her deep breath, preparing her for battle. “Don’t do anything with it, Kate. Just talk to him. Just be normal.”

“I haven’t admitted another guy’s hot-”

She frantically waved her hands in front of my face. “And you’re not going to now! I’m not asking you to go tell Eli what you think of him. I’m just asking you to have a conversation. I want you to try to relax. I want you to try to be Kate again.”

“I should go home.”

“You should have another drink and remember what it’s like to be single.”

If anyone else had said that to me, I would have turned around and left. I could be obnoxiously stubborn. Contrary just to be contrary.

But this wasn’t anyone else. This was the person I trusted most in life. This was my friend that only wanted what was best for me.

And I knew I was making too big of a deal out of this. There wasn’t any harm in a conversation. I could talk to Eli, just like I did at school the other day.

Just to be sure, I downed my drink and ordered another one. It was one thing to freak out in front of Kara. Eli didn’t need to see my neurosis.

Er, any more of my neurosis.

We pushed through the crowded tables to the other side of the bar. It seemed like the entire faculty had come out tonight. Mrs. Patz, the school librarian, had made it on stage to perform a duet with Mrs. Chan, the geography teacher. I had never heard Cher sung quite like that before.

When I finally reached Eli’s table, my eyes were wide and a smile danced in the corners of my mouth. It must have been a rough week for all of us.

That was the only explanation I could come up with for all of this… insanity.

This musical insanity.

Eli scooted down a chair so I could sit next to him. The gym teacher and assistant football coach, Kent Adams, made room for Kara. Kent was single and young and had a crush on Kara. They had been on a date before, but she claimed lack of chemistry.

I knew the truth. She was scared.

Kara was my opposite. I fell in love on the second date and got married the year after I graduated college. Kara refused to let anyone get that close to her. Her defenses were thicker than the Great Wall of China. She let very few people in.

I was one of the lucky ones.

Kent was cool though and he’d always been nice to me. I wished- silently, of course, because I valued not having my hair ripped out- that she’d give him a chance.

Eli leaned in with a crooked half-smile. “Hey.”

I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling wider. “Hey.”

“Did you get your name on the list?” His head tilted toward the stage.

“It was the first thing I did when I walked in.”

His smile widened and straight, white teeth winked at me from behind his full lips. “Liar,” he teased. “You walked straight to the bar.”

I took a sip of my new drink and felt a blush spread out on both of my cheeks. I blamed the alcohol. “And you didn’t?”

“Of course I did,” he chuckled. “This has been a shit week.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. The cops had been called yesterday after two kids beat the shit out of each other during lunch. Today someone pulled the fire alarm and interrupted second period. That was on top of all of the other day-to-day drama this year seemed filled with.

“You are not wrong,” I agreed.

We sat silently while new teachers took the stage. The begi

Eli’s breath brushed over my neck. “I saw that.” His low voice rumbled in my ear.

I looked up at him from beneath my eyelashes and asked i

“You like this song,” he accused.

“Everybody likes this song!” My defense was ruined with laughter. “It’s maybe the most likable song in the history of songs.”

His dark eyes lit up, glittering in the dim lights of the dingy bar. “Did you want to join them? I’m sure we could find you a mic.”

“Just a small town girl,” I mouthed to him. “Living in a lonely world.” I held my tumbler to my lips, gripping it dramatically. “She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere!”

Eli’s head tipped back as he laughed out loud. “What will it take to get you to do that on stage?”

“A million dollars and your first born child.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but it might be worth it.” He leaned closer again and I inhaled his cologne. My stomach flipped and a shiver skittered down my back. “Would you like me to sign that contract with blood? Or will a regular old pen work.”

“Blood, if you please.”

I expected something witty and charming, but instead his laughter died and his expression turned serious. “It’s nice to see you smiling again, Kate. It looks good on you.”

My blush turned into a blanket of tomato-red and I wanted to press my ice-cold glass against my cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Is there room?”

My head snapped up and I forced a smile on my face. Our private moment was interrupted by more co-workers. I could feel Kara’s glare across the table, but I couldn’t look at her or I would burst into laughter.