All or Nothing

I needed to talk to someone about it, but I couldn’t share with Katie or Ashley. They knew about my loathing of King from the moment I first met him. If I told them what I was doing with him now, there was no way in hell they would understand. In fact, I was certain they would try to talk me out of seeing him all together. And though I knew they would be right to encourage me to dump him, I couldn’t do it. As perverse as it was, I enjoyed spending time with King now, even as he challenged me.

I was in the kitchen making di

“Smells good,” he commented as he went to the fridge for a beer.

“Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn,” I told him as I washed the bowl I used to mix up the meatloaf.

“My favorite,” he murmured, popping the top on his beer and taking a slug.

“Really?” I asked casually, even though my internal ante

“Yep.”

“So, if I were going to make a dessert to round out this meal, what would be the perfect thing?”

He gri

I giggled. “Well, it’s a good thing I bought a frozen one when I got the stuff for di

King was silent while I rinsed the bowl and placed it in the drain board. While I dried my hands, I turned to him, leaning a hip against the counter.

He was watching me, a speculative gleam in his eyes. “You wa

Something about the way he asked the question made me hesitate before answering. “Yes,” I stated softly.

“Why?”

That took me off guard. “I’m sorry?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

I shook my head, even more confused. “King, I don’t understand what you want me to say.”

He deliberately set his beer on the counter and moved toward me. His face was no longer relaxed and content, but something was happening behind his eyes. I didn’t recognize the emotion, but it still made my heart beat faster and sweat break out on my palms.

King wrapped his arms around me, settling my hips against his. “Why do you want to make me something I like?”

Still not getting it, I tried to answer anyway. “Because I want to.”

He shook me gently. “Yes, but why do you want to?”

“King, I don’t understand what you want to know!” I snapped. “What’s wrong with me making your favorite di

He shook his head and sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with it, darlin’. I just wa

The entire conversation was strange and a

He squeezed me tighter. “You do that every time you give me that sweet pussy,” he muttered, his head coming down toward mine.

I smacked his shoulder. “Don’t say shit like that to me when I’m mad at you.” His words made the disappointment feel like a knife twisting in my belly. He talked as though I was just another piece of ass to him.

“What I’m asking, Jena, is why you smiled like I gave you a pair of diamond earrings when I told you that fucking meatloaf and mashed potatoes was my favorite di

“I want to give you things you like, King. Is that a damn crime?”

“No, but it’s obvious it meant something to you. Why is that?”

I threw my arms up before dropping my hands to shove at his chest. “Because you do stuff like that for me all the time. I like it and I like you and I want to do the same kinds of things for you!”

He gri

“Because I feel like you already know everything about me! You bring me my favorite flowers, you take me to my favorite restaurants without even having to ask me which I like, and you know exactly what movies I’ll want to watch when we’re hanging out at home. Yet I know almost nothing about you! You evade questions or pretend you didn’t even hear me. So, yes, it did feel like a gift when you finally opened up a little and told me that you like goddamn meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and apple pie, King. Jesus.”

I tried to pull out of his arms, my pleasure in giving him something he’d enjoy ruined, but his grip tightened.

“King-” I growled in warning.

His eyes were pointed down at my face, but I got the distinct feeling he wasn’t really seeing me. He looked as though he was a thousand miles away in his head and it didn’t look like a good place to be.

Then his gaze focused until he was staring right into my eyes and I knew he’d come to some sort of conclusion.

“You like me?” he asked.

I frowned up at him. His tone was surprised, as though he couldn’t believe it. “No, I fucking hate your guts, that’s why I let you have sex with me every day and sleep in my bed every night,” I answered sarcastically.

“Jena,” he growled.

“Jesus, King. What kind of women have you been with that you would think I’d spend so much time with you if I didn’t like you?”

He didn’t answer, just stared at me some more.

The timer went off and I jumped. I tried to extricate myself from King’s embrace, but he wouldn’t let me go.

“I need to get the meatloaf out of the oven before it burns,” I mumbled, tugging at his hands.

He took a deep breath then released me, going back to his beer and taking a pull.

We didn’t speak again as I finished making di

Still, he didn’t talk much the rest of the night. He also didn’t pull me into his side like he usually did. The two feet separating us on the sofa felt like two miles. For some reason, it made me want to cry. Somehow in the past few months, King had managed to infiltrate my defenses so deeply that I felt bereft without his touch.

That scared me. No, it terrified me. I was too dependent on him and his company. He made my body hum with pleasure and he also made me laugh. Now he was pulling away even more. I could see the distance growing between us and it was shocking how much that hurt.

A lump formed in my throat, threatening to choke me, but I swallowed it back. What was I going to do when he finally ditched me? How could I have been so stupid? King wasn’t built for the long term. He never said it, but it was obvious he didn’t want me to get too close.

Finally, tired from all the self-recriminations in my head and battling against tears, I got up. “I’m go

He grunted, his eyes never leaving the TV.

Heart heavy, I went into the bathroom and got ready to shower. With the hot water ru

I didn’t bother drying my hair after I was done. I crept from the bathroom into the bedroom and put on my big t-shirt and panties before I slipped between the sheets. King still hadn’t come to bed by the time I fell asleep.

*     *     *

My body was turned and I was lying on my back, which woke me from my restless dozing.

“King?” I asked thickly.

He didn’t respond with words. His lips hit mine and his tongue slid inside my mouth. I made a low sound in my throat, wound my arms around his neck, and kissed him back.

It was different from any kiss I’d shared with King before.

His hands skimmed up my sides beneath my shirt, bunching the fabric around his wrists, until he pulled it over my head. His hot, naked skin hit mine and I shuddered against him.