Fade to Red

She screamed when she saw someone standing outside her window. They turned and ran. The gauzy curtains made it hard to see any features, but she felt certain it’d been a girl. Shaking, she opened the door and looked around.

“Hello? Joh

No answer.

Creeped out, she shut the door and locked it and then closed all the windows. She didn’t see any signs of the girl or her bodyguard. Still shaking, she told herself to calm down and called Jill, the owner of the house. She looked out the window again to see if they were home.

“Jill? It’s Roxie,” she said as soon as Jill answered.

“Oh hey, girl! How’s the tour going?” she asked politely.

“It’s been great. I just wanted to let you know I’m back for a couple of nights. I should have let you know I would be back, so you didn’t think someone had broken in out here.” Roxie laughed nervously.

“Thanks, that’s probably a good idea!” Jill laughed.

“You didn’t just come by, did you? I saw someone outside my window a few minutes ago.”

“Weird! No,” she said. “I’m actually not home right now, but I can have Eddie take a look around if you’re nervous.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Just thought I’d check. Maybe I’ll see you before I head out again.”

“That’d be great. Let’s have coffee or something.”

They hung up and Roxie took another look outside but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She dialed Joh

“Joh

“Hey. Did you finally listen to me and go home?”

“No, I’m coming back. Silly girl. You can’t get rid of me that easily. Boss would kill me if he knew I left, though.”

“It’s fine. I won’t tell.”

“Thanks. I’m close. I needed a 4x4, animal style, and backup hadn’t come yet. Al’s supposed to be working tonight. Want anything?”

“Mmm, that does sound good. I’ll have a double meat, animal style … wait—make that without the onions though. But everything else. Please,” she added.

“You got it. Fries?”

“Pfft. Yeah!” she snorted.

This was going to change her whole day. She hadn’t had In-N-Out since before the tour started.

Joh

“Thank you!” she said, cramming her mouth with fries.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Hey, it’s probably nothing, but someone was here earlier, looking in my window. I think it was a girl.” She pointed at the window closest to the door.

“What?”

“Scared me to death. I screamed when I saw her and she took off.”

“Why are you just now telling me this?”

“I did call to see where you were and got sidetracked by this.” She held up her burger.

He glared. “I’ll take a look around the perimeter.” He suddenly stepped into bodyguard mode and backed out of the front door. “Before it gets dark…”

“Thanks, Joh

“No, don’t worry about us. We’ll take turns sitting up. I’m about to set up the tents. Really,” he raised his hands when she began to protest, “I’m looking forward to being outside. So is Al. We’ve been cooped up too long. I know this’ll be good for me,” he said with genuine enthusiasm.

She laughed. “Okay. If you’re sure. I can give you some extra blankets.”

“Thank you.”

The iPad mini dropped into her lap at least five times before Roxie gave up and stopped trying to read her book. She turned her light off, put in her ear buds with soft music playing, and closed her eyes. Her dreams gave her permission to think about Beckham Woods.

The girl in the window. A car backfired and the ground shook. Kissing Beckham. His eyes. His touch felt real. They were in her bed. He leaned down and kissed her bare skin. She tossed and turned, then shook the covers off. It was so hot. She reached for the covers again because the girl was watching from the window.

“Let me see you,” his voice echoed in her dream.

“Why is it so hot in here?” she asked him.

“Wake up,” he whispered. “Wake up!” The voice got more urgent.

She opened her eyes and her room was so full of smoke, she couldn’t see anything. She got down on the floor and crawled toward the door. She yelped when her hand touched the doorknob. Wrong thing to do. She snatched the blanket off of her bed and put that over the doorknob. She was shaking hard. Nothing was moving fast enough. Her eyes burned and her body felt sluggish. Maybe this was part of the dream too. Some of the kitchen walls were missing and the table was in pieces. She turned to the closest window and crawled out of it, stretching out on the grass.

Shaking. She woke up to someone shaking her. An oxygen mask was put over her nose and mouth. She looked up and she was in an ambulance. She tried to sit up.

“Hold up. Take it easy. How are you feeling?” one of the EMTs asked.

“I don’t know what happened,” she said in the mask.

“We’re go

She looked past the two men and out the open doors of the ambulance. The cottage was black in places and the smoke still filled the air. She couldn’t see the main house.

“Are Jill and Eddie okay?” she croaked, lifting the mask.

“I see a couple being checked out over there.” He tilted his head to the left. He shut the doors and said something to the guy driving. “Is there someone we could call for you? We’re go

She shook her head as they started driving. “Joh

They both tried to get her to settle down and keep her mask on, but she kept pushing it back and coughing. “Where are they?” she repeated.

Her head was pounding and her eyes wouldn’t stop ru

“We’ll have to see when we get to the hospital,” one said softly. “It’s important that you stay calm. You inhaled a lot of smoke. Keep the oxygen on.”

When Roxie got into that cab and didn’t look back, Beckham knew he’d lost his chance with her. He should have gone home, worked out until he couldn’t think straight, or asked Sierra to not let him out of her sight. But he didn’t. He told Howie to take the day off and not bother coming around until they drove to the Grammys the next night.

Another cab pulled up and the flight attendant from earlier stepped beside him and opened the door.

“Need a ride?” she asked with a smirk.

“I need a drink.” He squelched down the bile that threatened to come up and welcomed the dark spiral he was diving into headfirst.

“I can arrange that,” she whispered.

Anything to forget. He’d do anything to wipe it all out for just one night. It was pulsating with every heartbeat that Leo wasn’t his. Everywhere he looked was a reminder that Roxie didn’t want anything to do with him. You deserve a relapse, he told himself, and he stepped into the cab with her.

His cell phone vibrated and fell off of the nightstand. He grabbed it, crawled out of bed, and tried not to wake up Flight Attendant—what was her name? Morgan? Megan? Megan sounded right…

Stumbling over an empty Jameson bottle, he made it to the bathroom and turned the light on, nearly falling again over the brightness. He held onto his head, trying to push it into his neck. The room wanted to go sideways.

It’s not like you’re in a relationship, he told the bottom of his chin. He couldn’t venture up to his eyes.

What’s wrong with you?

He ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

You didn’t do anything wrong … but you may as well have. This is who you’ve always been. And this woman wanted you. No baggage there.