Fade to Red

“What do you think? Back here?”

“No question!” She stared at the night sky moving above them. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Get comfortable,” he said. “The bed is really the only place to sit back here, but it’s roomy and I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

She sat with her back against the headboard, tucking her legs under the covers. He did the same, making sure to keep some space between them, and flipped through the cha

“If you see something you wa

She surprised him by scooting closer and laying her head on his shoulder. He didn’t want to breathe, for fear of messing up the moment. But a few minutes later, he heard her breathing change and realized she’d fallen asleep. His heart kicked up a few beats with the thought that maybe she did trust him. He waited a few moments and then kissed her hair before closing his eyes too. She smelled like heaven.

An hour later he woke up with Roxie in his arms. They were completely under the covers now, both lying down, with Roxie’s leg wrapped over his. He brushed her hair back and kissed her head again. He’d never felt anything better than this. Whatever it took, he wanted to win the heart of this Roxie—the one whose body and eyes told him something very different than her words.

He was having the best dream when Roxie squeaked next to him. He forced his eyes open and she sat up. She turned and stared down at him, mouth gaping open.

“Hi,” he whispered, smiling.

She rubbed her hands down her face and muttered some nonsense back to him.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. She looked so adorable. “It’s still the middle of the night. You should go back to sleep.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time and finally nodded. “I feel like I slept a long time.”

“Me too.”

Her voice sounded raspy and made everything inside him clench when she spoke.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep so early.”

“I love your voice.” He lightly tickled her back.

Her wide eyes didn’t blink. He was afraid he might have forced her silent with that comment.

“I slept better than I can ever remember sleeping,” he admitted.

“Me too.”

To his surprise, she laid down and nestled back into his shoulder. He thought she might have fallen back to sleep when she said, “I do think you’ve changed, Beckham.”

He swallowed hard and waited to see if she’d say anything else. When she didn’t, he said, “It means a lot to hear you say that. Thank you.”

They were quiet for a few minutes and then Roxie got up and left the room. He heard her shut the bathroom door and while she was in there, he went to his bathroom, brushed his teeth, and tried to calm his hair a little. He was wasting his time with that.

When she came back in the room, she sat on the end of the bed. “Wa

“Not really. You?”

She shook her head.

“Roxie? Can we talk?”

She looked away. “You can’t make it right, Beckham. Okay?” She pulled on the sleeves of her shirt. “Can’t we leave it at this sort-of-a-friendship thing we’ve finally got going? Isn’t that enough?”

“I hope we’re friends. I know I’m pushing it when we’re … getting along,” he studied her reaction, “but I can’t help but think it won’t really be a friendship until I know our past.”

“I’ve never met a man who wanted to talk so much.” She scowled.

“I’ve had some therapy.” He tilted his head and made a crazy face.

She laughed and it took everything in him to not kiss her.

“Can we have coffee first?” She bit her lip and peeked through the shade. “Where are we?”

“Close to Chicago, I think. But yes, to coffee. It’ll make this day last longer. Are you hungry yet? I’ll feed you breakfast, lunch, and/or di

Her eyes glowed, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He wondered if he’d ever be able to.

“I like breakfast anytime.”

“Good answer.”

He went into the kitchen and started the coffee. He pulled out the eggs and bread and asked how she liked everything. The mood was light between them as they both worked to get breakfast on the table. As soon as it was ready, they sat down and ate quietly.

Her nerves picked up when she finished eating. He took her hand and waited.

She took a deep breath, and he reached out with his other hand and traced her jawline.

“Whatever you have to tell me, I’ll listen. You don’t need to be nervous with me. Okay?”

She began the free fall.

“I was—am—a huge fan of your music. Like, posters on my wall during high school kind of fan.”

Her cheeks tinged pink when she said it. She started tearing pieces of her napkin onto her plate and wouldn’t look at him.

“I was quiet, didn’t have many friends, didn’t really date at all … I spent all my free time dancing. I saved up my money for your show—made my sister so mad because our parents wouldn’t let her go. She’s four years younger than me,” she paused, her eyes skirting toward his. “I didn’t want anyone to go with me because I was on a mission. I was going to meet you.” She leaned back in her chair. “I got there and worked my way up to the front. It felt like you were singing to me the whole night. We were this close.” She held up her hands to show him. “When the show was over, your guard let a few of us backstage and we went with you and the band to a club. We started talking there and then we danced together.” She barely blinked. “It was good then too.”

Her lip trembled and he wanted to pull her in his arms and kiss her, not hear what she had to say. He’d thought he wanted to know, but he was afraid he really, really did not.

“It was an incredible rush to not only meet you, but to actually dance with you, to have your attention … I thought there was an instant tug between us so strong that even you felt it.”

Her eyes flickered to his and looked as blue as he’d ever seen them. His heart had started to pound back at ‘it was good then too’ and wasn’t slowing.

“I was naive. I thought magic was happening between us. When you kissed me, I imagined you felt it too. I thought every dream I’d ever had was coming true. We danced until the club closed. You did have more alcohol than anyone I’d ever seen, but like I said, I was naive and you didn’t seem drunk to me. You asked me to go to your hotel with you, and I didn’t even second guess my decision for one instant. I’d wished to be with you since I’d gotten hormones. Of course, I was going to lose my virginity with you, and hopefully be with you for the rest of my life too…”

Beckham dropped her hand and felt desolate instantly. He put his head in his hands. “Oh God…” Now he was the one who couldn’t look at her.

“I’d say my first time was probably better than most. The second time I felt like I’d gone to heaven and didn’t want to come back to earth.”

He glanced up and she gave him a small smile, but there were tears ru

“We fell asleep then and a few hours later, a huge man came in the room, not Howie, someone else. He woke me up and told me I had to go. You were completely out of it, never woke up. There were tons of pill bottles on the nightstand, and I did wonder if you were okay, because I made a lot of noise while I got dressed, hoping you’d wake up and tell me to stay, but you never did. Your bodyguard or whoever he was didn’t give me any choice, he escorted me to a cab and sent me on my way. I knew you couldn’t possibly want that, so I followed you to the next show I could make a week later and spent every dime I had getting another ticket. I did the same thing as before, worked my way up to the front, dancing. But you were fixated on someone else that night. I just thought you didn’t see me and once you did, you’d be with me, so when I saw them doing the same thing as before, I ran back with the group going backstage. You had your arm around the petite brunette you’d watched during the show and I walked straight up to you. I said, ‘Hey, I didn’t get to tell you goodbye!’ You said ‘hey’ but looked confused. You started walking away and I ran after you, saying, ‘You don’t remember me? How can you not remember me? It was just a week ago!’ You pulled the girl tighter to you and said, ‘Sorry, babe … I meet a lot of people…’”