The Finn Factor

“It was a weird text, though, you have to admit.” She raised an eyebrow and waited until I added, “Which was probably more reason to ask him to explain.”

“Right.” She nodded. “I have a theory. Do you want to hear it, or have you had enough?”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a beat, bracing myself, then opened them. I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what was coming, but Cathy wouldn’t be saying it if she didn’t think it could help. And I needed help right now.

“Go on.”

“You said you moved around a lot as a kid. You probably didn’t get to have long-term friends, meaning you left before any friendships were tested.” She hoisted herself up on the counter. “In early friendships, everyone is still on best behavior.”

“But I’ve kept you and Fi

“True. So you can do it.”

“But once we changed the rules and things got difficult, I did it to him as well. God, I’m a mess.”

She smiled with sympathy in her eyes. “You still have me.”

“You should run. Run far. I’m a disaster waiting to happen. Remember I almost ruined your relationship.”

“No, you didn’t.” She screwed up her nose as she thought about it. “Well, yes, you probably did. But I should have trusted him more in the first place, and you were trying to help.”

“Like I was trying to help my brother with A

“You’re an imperfect human. Welcome to the club.”

“You want to know what doesn’t make sense, though?” Caught up in a realization, I didn’t wait for her reply. “I crave stability. Crave it so bad I walked out on the man I love over it.”

“You’re right. That doesn’t make sense.” She waved a hand. “Ignore my theory. My theory sucks. Mojitos make sense. Let’s make mojitos.”

I thought back to all those times I’d moved house, to the moment the cut and run instinct had kicked in, looking for the thought or feeling that triggered it. And then I found it, and everything made sense again.

“This is crazy,” I said, “but what I think happens is I start to feel like things are going to be unstable, or change too much, and I freak. Then I get out before things are too bad.”

“So you protect yourself from instability by creating instability?” Her expression was full of what-the-hell and I couldn’t blame her.

What had I been doing to myself? I ran through every possible scenario and it fit the pattern. Cut and run. Even recently with my parents, I’d moved them on to Thomas as soon as their talk with Billie affected the stability of the household.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I gave her a half-hearted smile and we fell into silence for a minute or so before I could bring myself to admit the worst. “What if there was life left in my relationship with Fi

Her expression softened. “It’s a definite possibility that you owe it to yourself to consider.”

“After all this interfering in other people’s relationships, I’ve basically interfered in my own in the same way. I got out and cut my losses.”

I glanced again at the gleaming, chrome love letter Fi

Don’t leave me.

What sort of imbecile would cut and run on a guy like Fi

“It comes down to one thing, really,” I said, gaze still on the new kitchen appliances. “I can have the stability I’ve always thought I wanted, but lose out on having Fi

Cathy arched an eyebrow. “You’d have to put up with him moving around while you stayed home,” she pointed out. “Or move around with him.”

I suddenly saw the situation with shining clarity. “But I’d have Fi

She looked wistfully at the icemaker. “I don’t suppose it’s to get mojito ingredients?” she asked hopefully. “So we can christen this baby?”

“Nope.” I was out through the door before she could reply.

Chapter Twenty

Scarlett

When I knocked on the front door of Fi

My heart lurched in my chest when I saw Fi

“Amelia,” Billie called on her way to the dining table. Even when she reached Fi

“What?” he said, blinking up at her. Then his gaze landed on me, and he stilled. He reached into his pocket and handed Billie his wallet, then found his keys on top of a pile of books on the table and handed them over as well.

Amelia came into the room, squealed my name and hugged me. I hugged her back, even though it meant losing eye contact with Fi

“Come on,” Billie said to her sister. “We’re going out for burgers. Fi

When they’d gone, Fi

“Hey,” he said, his face giving nothing away. Harvey sat at his feet, whining softly.

“Hey,” I said back. “I just came by to say thank you for the icemaker and coffee machine.”

“You’re welcome.” He dug his hands into his pockets, and his dark blue gaze became even more serious as he rounded the table. “I realized you’re always giving. It’s what you do. And I thought it was time someone gave back to you.” He stopped in front of me and shrugged. “It’s not much.”

“It is much.” Harvey darted around behind Fi

“Harvey, I don’t need any help,” Fi

Fi

I could smell the musky scent of his skin, feel his breath feather over my face. It took all my willpower not to throw myself at him, beg him to hold me. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and my throat dried.

“Fi

“Yeah?”

I moistened my lips, and watched him watch the action. “I know the icemaker was your version of a love letter.”

“I guess it was,” he said, his voice raspy. “So was my desk.”

Glancing over the desk I’d bought him, I admitted that with a nod. Then I focused back on Fi

“Don’t want to be friends,” he said, and I felt the world fall away from underneath me. It was all for nothing. We’d well and truly ruined the single-most important thing in my life. My eyes stung with the tears I refused to let form.