The Finn Factor

She shrugged. “It would combine your two interests, give you a regular pay check, and I think you’re a natural. I saw you helping Fi

Teaching. I’d never thought about it as a career before, but there was something appealing about it. I’d enjoyed helping the others in the workshop, and even training Billie for my old job. Plus, Amelia was high school age and I got on well with her.

Teaching had always been Fi

A tidal wave of grief rose up and threatened to swamp me just as Noela asked me some more questions about the paintings and I focused back on her. I stayed another ten minutes, talking about art and teaching, but I didn’t want to impose too much on her time. She’d already been generous, and given me a lot to think about.

And whether or not I decided to follow her suggestion of teaching, having something else to think about while I was struggling to make it through each day without Fi

Pulling my new scarf more tightly around my neck, I walked into the school auditorium and looked for Billie…and Fi

I was a bundle of nerves, but hoped to cover it by keeping my hands in my pockets and avoiding talking when I could, since both my hands and voice had taken up trembling tonight. Fi

It had been two weeks since I’d seen him. Two weeks without my best friend. Two weeks without the man I loved. Cathy had been great about letting me stay—and letting me talk—but inside I felt broken.

Amelia had called a few days ago to ask if I was still coming to her concert, and even though I’d forgotten all about it, I’d said of course I was. She’d said they’d bought me a ticket and Billie would bring it to work.

The auditorium had rows of chairs set up, some filled already, but others empty, and a whole heap of people milling around, chatting. Billie stood up from her seat and waved. I gave her a quick wave back and, taking deep breaths to calm myself, walked in their direction.

When I was a few rows away, Fi

Billie jumped out and hugged me. “Scarlett, I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve saved you a seat.”

They had three together, and Billie was sitting in the middle. I wondered if that had been her idea or his.

“Hey, Scarlett,” Fi

His voice seemed to travel though me, finding all the places I ached for him and bringing them to life.

I looked down at the lumpy yellow scarf with its dropped stitches and uneven rows. “Amelia made it.”

“I thought I recognized the handiwork.” One corner of his mouth hitched in an imitation of a smile.

We all sat down, and luckily Billie talked enough for all three of us. It wasn’t her normal mode of conversation, so she was clearly trying to make things easier for Fi

I glanced up at Fi

Everything inside me yearned for him, wanted him, needed him. Logically I knew the feeling had to lessen eventually—supposedly time heals all wounds—but right now, it had only grown stronger since I’d last seen him. The tears came back and this time I couldn’t hold them back. I felt them sting my eyes, then one slipped free. I caught it before it ran down my face, but Fi

Then the lights went down and the concert started. Amelia was amazing in her solo dance. As soon as the spotlight hit her, she had an internal glow and a buzz around her. It was like she was made for the stage.

Amelia’s was the only dance I properly watched. For the rest of the concert I watched Fi

As soon as the lights came up and the applause died down, Billie jumped out of her seat. “Fi

I hadn’t thought about her needing to get changed. In my idea of how the night would go, she’d come out straight away, in costume, and I’d give her the present I’d brought with me, hug her, and go home. Quickly. But I couldn’t leave without seeing her.

“That would be great,” I said to Billie. “Thanks.”

We filed out of the auditorium with all the other people and found a quiet spot on a paved area off to the side.

“Oh, there’s Sasha,” Billie said. “We went to school together. You know, I thought that was her little sister in the fairy costume. I’m just going to duck over and say hi.” And she was gone.

We both watched her go. Fi

“How are you?” he eventually said.

“I’m good.” Which seemed inadequate, as if I was purposely withholding information, so I added, “I’ve transferred my degree over to a Bachelor of Education. I start next semester.”

His eyes lit. “That’s great. I didn’t know you wanted to be a teacher.”

“To be honest,” I said, shifting my weight to the other leg, “it had never occurred to me. But I dropped in to see Noela, the artist who taught the silversmithing workshop, to show her some of my work. She suggested teaching high school, specializing in math and art.”

“You’ll make an amazing teacher—I don’t know why we didn’t think of it ourselves.” His gaze was full of love and pride, and it stole all the oxygen from my lungs. Then he blinked hard and when he opened his eyes again, the light that had fired in his eyes faded away, and his voice had more distance. “Did you get any credit for the accountancy subjects?”

“Not as many as I would have liked, but yes, I got some.”

He blew out a harsh breath. “How weird is it that I didn’t know about your career change as it was happening?”

“Yeah,” I agreed, then there was nothing else to say. We’d done what we’d been worried about all along—ruined our friendship. We weren’t quite strangers, but new things had happened in my life, and Fi

Not sure what to do with my hands, I fiddled with my scarf. “How are things with you?”

“Much the same. Still can’t get a reed flute to sound right,” he said with a half-hearted attempt at a smile.

“Fi

“Why are you sorry?”

I made myself look up at him, and face the pain in his dark blue gaze. “I knew moving out, leaving, would be pretty much the worst thing I could do to you.” He’d admitted he equated love with abandonment, and I’d reinforced that for him. Even if he hadn’t said the words. It had been all I could think about when I drove away from his house that final time, hating myself for walking out on him, but still going. “I’m probably the only person who understands that about you, and yet I left you anyway.”