Spider Bones

“You OK?”

I nodded, gulping air.

“Can you walk?”

I nodded again.

“Man, lady. That was quite a show.”

“Mahalo,” I croaked.

We picked our way shoreward.

Once ashore, my rescuers insisted on calling an ambulance. I told them I was unhurt. They pressed. I refused, requested they phone the cops to report a single-car accident with no injuries.

When the young men had moved off, I sat, willing control over my trembling limbs. My pounding heart. My harried adrenals.

Again and again I asked myself what the hell just happened. How had a chain of events that started with an autoerotic death in Montreal almost gotten me killed on a highway in Hawaii? Was the accident linked to the Hemmingford pond victim? To Plato Lowery in Lumberton, North Carolina? To a case at the CIL? If so, which one? Lowery? Alvarez? Lapasa? To the fired anthropologist, Gus Dimitriadus? To the work I was doing for Hadley Perry? To the Halona Cove victim with the traction pin, Francis Kealoha? To his unknown companion? Or was the collision with the SUV just that, an accident? A case of wrong place, wrong time?

When composure returned, I moved toward the gawkers. A young woman lent me her phone. Susie. Nice hair. Very bad teeth.

Katy had no car. Da

Hating it, I dialed Ryan.

He went apeshit. As anticipated.

“You think these tools forced you off the road on purpose?”

“Probably. I felt three separate hits spaced apart.”

“Did you recognize them?”

“No.”

“The vehicle?”

“No.”

“Did you get a tag number?”

“No.”

“Were they drunk?”

“There wasn’t time for a Breathalyzer.”

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine.” For the fourth time. “But the Cobalt is toast.”

“Shit. Lily just went out for an SUP lesson.”

“SUP?”

“Stand-up paddling. You float on a surfboard-looking thing and propel yourself with a paddle. Don’t ask me why. Anyway, she’s out of contact for another twenty minutes.” Agitated breathing. “Look, I can run down there, take you to Lanikai, shoot back up here—”

“Where are you?”

“Wailea.”

“That’s at least an hour from here.”

“Maybe I could—”

“Ryan, it’s no biggie.”

Actually, it was a real pain in the ass. I was soaked, my knee hurt like hell, my face was hash from the lava rock, and, obviously, I had no wheels and no wallet.

“How will you get home?”

“The cop probably has reams of forms I have to fill out. Maybe he’ll take pity on me. Or order a taxi.” If Samaritan Susie has left with her phone.

“Would the rental agency send someone to pick you up?”

“Right. I’m going to be très popular with Avis.” I was dreading that call.

“The accident wasn’t your fault.”

“They’ll be gratified to know.”

“Yo?”

I turned.

The cop was shouting at me from outside his squad car. Older guy, probably fifty. Palenik. I was très popular with Officer Palenik, too. No ID. No license. Car resting in ten feet of water.

“Your story checks out,” Palenik bellowed, to the interest of the onlookers. “How about we move this along?”

“I’ll be right there,” I shouted back. To Ryan. “Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you at the house.”

I was right. Tolstoy devoted less paper to War and Peace than the Honolulu PD does to a traffic accident.

I was finishing the last form when a white Ford Crown Victoria made a U-ey and slid to a stop on our side. The shoulder was empty now, save for the cruiser in which Palenik and I sat.

The Crown Vic’s driver got out and walked in our direction, hitching his pants. Which were white. His untucked shirt was aloha blue and red. His left hand gripped a gym bag.

Based on size, I wasn’t sure if the guy was full grown.

Palenik watched, never budging from behind the wheel.

No alarm. OK. I was cool, too.

Proximity resolved the question of age. Though standing five-three and weighing maybe 120 wet, up close our visitor’s face said he was in his forties. High cheekbones and hidden upper lids suggested Asian ancestry. Turquoise eyes and ginger hair suggested input from elsewhere.

The man placed a forearm above the driver’s-side window, leaned on it, and spoke to Palenik.

“Aloha, Ralph.”

“Aloha, Detective.”

Detective?

“How’s it hanging?”

“Can’t complain.”

The turquoise eyes roved to me. “Dr. Bre

Palenik gri

“It’s nice when you can give an old classic your own spin.” Detective Nameless also gri

My clothes were molded to my body. My makeup was soup on my face. My hair was hanging in salty wet tangles. My car was in the drink. I was not amused.

“So, Ralph. We know who I am. We know who you are.” My frown slid from Palenik to the face hanging outside his window. “Perhaps an introduction is in order?”

The men exchanged one of those smirky ain’t-testosterone-grand glances, then Detective Nameless straightened, rounded the cruiser, and opened my door.

“Ivar Lô.” A diminutive hand shot my way.

Surprise made me blurt, “Hung and—”

The hand was withdrawn. “My partner’s handling a domestic dispute.”

“How did you know—”

“Detective Ryan thought you might need dry clothes.” Lô tossed the gym bag onto my lap. “Sorry, no undies.”

I should have been grateful. Instead, I felt peeved. And embarrassed.

Lô circled back to Palenik. “Got a call from a guy on the job, homicide, Montreal. He’s stuck up on the North Shore. Asked me to deliver the little lady to a rendezvous point.”

Deliver the little lady?

“Her lucky day. She gets a little ride-along.”

Lô smiled in my direction.

Ride-along? Not only had Ryan kicked into shining knight mode, Lô was treating me like some dimwit TV viewer with cop fantasies. The old anger switch tripped in my brain.

I reined it in. No reason to antagonize the little twerp.

“I am perfectly capable of calling a taxi.”

“And paying with what?”

“I’m certain—”

“You done with that form?”

I handed the clipboard to Palenik.

“Ryan says you come with me.” Lô was bending in, speaking to me.

“Does he.” Tundra cold. “I do not need a ride-along, Detective Lô. I’ve spent a great deal of time on police investiga—”

“You can change in my car.”

“I have no intention—”

“Wrecker’s on the way.” Palenik cut me off. Why not? Lô was doing it. “I’ll deal with the tow.”

“I owe you, buddy,” Lô said.

Palenik started his engine. Subtle fellow, Ralph.

Clutching Lô’s gym bag, I got out of the cruiser and slammed the door. Hard.

Lô pointed at the Crown Victoria. “I’ll wait here.”

“And where will this little ride-along take me?” Barely civil.

“Your partner’s meeting us in Kalihi Valley.”

Oh?

“I’ve got a CI says Francis Kealoha was murdered.”

THE CROWN VIC’S INTERIOR SMELLED OF SOY SAUCE AND GARLIC.

Lô drove like Ryan. Gun it. Brake. Gun it. Brake.

Or maybe it was the gallon of ocean sloshing in my gut.

Ten miles out, I felt queasy.

I suspected I was wearing Lô’s clothes. The parrot shirt and waistband fit reasonably well, but the pants legs stopped three inches short of my soggy sandals.

My cheek was raw and my forehead had a lump the size of a peach pit. My hair was knotted atop my head. Poorly. I’d had no comb. And only tissues to remove my smeared mascara.

Fetching.

The radio hissed and spit the usual cop stuff.

Lô had do

Apparently, my curiosity wasn’t all that subtle.