Mine

She pushed up on her elbow and stared down at him. “That sounds like you’re okay with me taking over your house.”

Damn, but yeah. “Sharing it.”

She speared her fingers through her hair, separating the strands as she focused on some spot on the wall over his shoulder. Finally, her gaze cleared and she focused on him again. “I’ve been on the run a long time.”

He never thought she’d admit that. Until that moment he hadn’t been sure she even understood her tendency to duck out emotionally. Looked like she did. “You made choices that allowed you to stay unattached, almost demanded that you live your life in a solitary way.”

“And now everything is jumbled. For the first time ever when I look out at the expanse of my future I don’t see anything.” Her head fell back as she stared up at the ceiling. “It’s this utter blackness. I can’t get it to focus. Can’t really think through my options.”

“Because you’re worried you’re being hunted?”

“No.” She looked at him again. “Because I don’t feel as if I have any choices. I know how to do one thing, and under the agreement I have to walk away from the CIA and all I’ve known. What’s left?”

“You’re selling yourself short.” She could fight and manage and lead. That was more than most people.

“Ever since my father . . .” Her voice faltered and she cleared it. “When you lose your mom the way I did you make some decisions about your life. You won’t be a victim. You won’t let your future get twisted up. You’ll always have a plan. A way out.” She ticked each one off on her fingers.

“Makes sense.” He hadn’t experienced anything like she had but he understood the intelligence of wearing a protective shell and being prepared for the worst.

“Somewhere along the line I lost sight of all of that.”

He’d never met a more competent woman or one so determined to let the blame pile up until it buried her. “Maybe you should give yourself a break? You made the decision to protect your people.”

She shrugged. “And look where that got me.”

“You would do it again.” He didn’t have to ask because he knew the answer. They were alike in that way. Loyalty, sometimes begrudging loyalty, trumped a lot of bullshit.

She exhaled. “I would.”

“Then stop worrying about the next twelve months or five years.” He wanted her to focus on the here and now. On being safe and getting her feet under her again. On them. Not that he could spit those words out in any logical way, or that he wanted to. He’d barely come to terms with the overpowering energy behind his feelings for her. This was not the time for show-and-tell. But he could offer sanctuary. “You are safe here with me. Stay here while you figure it out. There’s no rush. Even once we get this stalking thing straightened out, you can relax and think it through.”

“You know under that beard and all that gruffness, you’re a charmer.” She ran a finger over it as she talked.

He pretended to be horrified by the thought. “Absolutely untrue.”

“And when you want to talk you can.” Her thumb pressed against his lip until his mouth dropped open just a bit. “I’m thinking the whole short responses, not talking thing you did when we first met was an act to show me how big and tough you are.”

The woman got him. Gabe couldn’t deny that . . . but he pretended to anyway. “Wrong.”

“Want to know what’s right?” She shifted then, slid her leg over his and moved from beside him to half on top of him.

He fully approved of the change and pulled her over him to let her know. Then his mind started racing. “Sex in the shower?”

“Now, you’re talking.” She said the words between nibbling kisses on his neck.

Yeah, they were definitely on the same page.

•   •   •

Eli called before he showed up at the office. The warning didn’t make seeing him any easier. He walked in, all tall and so fucking beautiful. Andy almost lost it.

He struggled to keep his ass in his desk chair and his voice even when he saw only one person being ushered inside. “Where’s your bodyguard?”

Eli flashed a smile as he closed the door, trapping them both inside. “Wade was needed at the club.”

“Sounds ominous.” Andy tried to remember how to breathe.

Alone with Eli. Andy had been wanting this moment for so long. Then he learned about Wade and confronting the ex suddenly seemed like an epically bad idea.

“Powerful people sometimes think they can do whatever they want. Wade’s job frequently is to advise said asshole members that they can’t.” Eli sat in the chair across from Andy.

“Sounds like a thankless position.” Necessary but messy, though Andy had a feeling Wade specialized in that type of situation.

“He doesn’t scare easily.”

“Except when it comes to you.” The words slipped out as if Andy’s subconscious wanted to pick a fight.

Eli stared for a beat or two longer than necessary before answering. “He’s fine.”

For some reason the clipped answer brought all the old feelings rushing back. Andy remembered spilling his guts once only to have Eli sneer and run as fast as he could for the door.

Andy knew he should back away now. Wade had made it clear Eli was not available. Not that Andy needed the warning. He saw it in every line of Eli’s body and heard it in every word that came out of Wade’s mouth. They were absolutely together. Bonded, right for each other . . . the whole fucking thing.

Still, Andy felt the need to push. “Your man has a jealousy issue.”

“He knows I won’t cheat on him.” Eli didn’t hesitate that time. The words rang out clear and firm.

“Then what’s with the constant supervision?”

“He trusts me.” Eli’s eyebrow lifted. “He doesn’t trust you, and since I told him he can’t kill you, he’s decided to remove temptation.”

“He thinks I’ll make a pass?” That had been the plan the first day Eli walked into Tosh’s offices about Natalie. He’d been with his boss and all business, and Andy’s brain cells had started firing. The possibility of a reconciliation floated through as soon as he realized how much Eli had changed. He’d settled down. No longer seemed half feral in the way he moved through life.

“I told him you’re not that stupid.” Eli’s eyes narrowed slightly. “That you know the score.”

Andy appreciated the faith in him. Too bad it was so fucking misplaced. If he thought it might work, that it had a fraction of a fraction of chance, Andy would have made a play. Rather than point that out, he went with the question that refused to leave his head. “Why him?”

Eli shifted in his chair. Crossed one leg over the other then dropped it to the floor again. “Don’t do this, Andy. I came for business.”

“Don’t you think we have awesome unsettled business of our own to deal with?” Andy tried to stop the flow of words, but they kept rolling out. It was as if he’d stored the questions along with the feelings and both rushed forward at the same time. Once the subject was on the table, Andy wanted it dealt with. Finally. Once and for all. “Well?”

“I fucked up.”

The words sliced into Andy with a painful nostalgia. He would have done anything to hear them before his life had spun out of control back then. He’d wandered down a destructive path after Eli left. Wasn’t careful. Gabe had saved his life more than once. Andy finally made the needed corrections, but only after getting some distance and some help.

Still, Eli’s admission fed Andy’s need to know more. “I’m not arguing, but any chance you could be more specific?”

“I wasn’t in a place to have a real relationship when we were together. I told you that, tried to be clear, but still . . .”

And there was the reality slap. Eli never lied. He hadn’t made any promises or looked for more. The whole history Andy pla

The sudden clarity that Eli never really cared for more than sex became the one step too far. Somewhere inside Andy had always known, but hearing the words in Eli’s voice would give them power. Andy couldn’t handle that. He shut it all down as he flipped open some unrelated file on his desk. “Never mind. Ancient history.”