Carry On

Pe

Baz’s stepmum brings us sandwiches. When she walks in, Baz and Pe

I try to convince them that it’s stupid to have all our notes out in the open, and that we should erase the whiteboard now, but they’re both addicted to the thing.

Then Baz’s dad comes home from work. He still seems confounded by my presence, but he’s thrilled to meet Pe

By late afternoon, we’re all cream-crackered, and we haven’t made any real progress. Even Pe

I’m still sitting next to Agatha on the couch. Baz is sitting in a stuffed chair, across from us; I think Agatha and I are both watching him, but he rarely looks our way.

Penelope slumps down onto the arm of Baz’s chair. I see his nostrils twitch, but he doesn’t pull away. I guess he’s gone this long without eating anyone, so I’m not going to be bothered about it.

“We have to go back to Nicodemus,” Pe

“We can’t compel him,” I say, “and he’s not go

“Maybe you guys didn’t ask nicely enough,” she says, waggling her eyebrows.

“Corking idea, Penelope,” Baz says. “We’ll have you seduce him.”

“No,” I say.

“I was thinking Agatha…,” Pe

“I’m not even here,” Agatha says. “When you’re all put on trial before the Coven, I wasn’t here.”

“We haven’t broken any laws,” I object.

“Oh, like that matters,” she says.

“Hear, hear,” Baz agrees. “You know, I’ve always expected to be tried unfairly before the Coven someday, but I never thought I’d be in such good company.”

“Nobody’s seducing a vampire,” I say.

Baz frowns at me.

“Unless,” I say, “we could convince your aunt—”

“No.”

“I don’t know how you’re going to get this vampire to confess to murder,” Agatha says flatly, “when you can’t even get Baz to tell you where he was for two months.”

“He was ill,” Pe

“He wasn’t ill,” Agatha says. “Dev said he was missing.”

Baz’s lip curls. “Dev told you that?”

“I told you your relatives are betrayers,” Pe

Baz sneers some more. “He only told Agatha because he has a dirty crush on her.”

“See,” Pe

“You said you were ill,” I say to Baz.

He looks at me, narrows his eyes into a glare, then looks away. “I was ill,” he says, crossing one leg over the other and smoothing out his dark trousers. “But I was also missing.”

“Where were you?” I demand.

He meets my eyes again, still glaring, “I really don’t think this is relevant—”

“Everything is relevant,” Pe

“I—” He clears his throat and looks down at his knees. “—was kidnapped.”

I sit up. “Kidnapped?”

“Kidnapped,” he repeats, then clears his throat again. “By numpties.”

“Numpties?” Pe

“They put a bag over my head while I was leaving the club, actually.”

Agatha sits up. “You were kidnapped at the club?”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” I ask.

“Well, I tried,” he says. “I guess nobody heard me shouting from inside the coffin.”

I’m still holding a sandwich. I drop it. “The numpties kept you in a coffin? For two months?”

“Six weeks,” he mutters. “And I think they thought they were doing me a favor, with the coffin.…”

Pe

“Why didn’t I tell you?” He’s glaring at her now. “Think about it: Who would pay numpties to kidnap the heir to the House of Pitch? Who has it out for my family right now? Who’s raided my house twice in the last month—who threw my cousin in a tower?”

“Not the Mage,” I say.

“Of course the Mage!” Baz has got both his hands in his pockets, and he’s leaning forward over his crossed legs, his elbows flaring out. “He thought he could terrify my parents, so they’d co-operate with his latest campaign. It must drive him mad to see me at school and know I got away from him! Why didn’t I tell you? ‘Hey, Simon, your Jedi master is out to get me, do we still have a truce?’”

“How did you get away?” I ask.

“Fiona found me. She’s fearless.”

“That’s why you were so thin,” I say. “And pale. And why you’re still limping. Did they hurt you?”

He sits back, looking down at his lap. “Not intentionally, I don’t think. They did something to my leg when they caught me, and it didn’t get a chance to heal.”

“You should go see my dad,” Agatha says.

“Is he a vampire doctor now?”

“Was there a ransom?” Pe

“Yeah,” Baz says. “My family wouldn’t pay it. Pitches don’t negotiate for hostages.”

“If I’m ever kidnapped at the club,” Agatha says, “tell my parents to pay the ransom.”

“My aunt found me with a souped-up finding spell,” Baz says. “She canvassed most of London.”

“I would have helped,” I say. “It wouldn’t have taken six weeks with me helping.”

Baz is scornful. “You never would have helped my family.”

“I would! It was driving me mental not knowing where you were. I thought you were going to jump out from every corner.”

“It wasn’t the Mage…,” Pe

“This is why I didn’t tell you lot,” Baz says. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me. You’re so convinced that the Mage is a hero—”

“No,” Pe

“I thought it was numpties…,” Agatha says.

“It was the same person who sent vampires after your mother!” Pe

Baz looks at her. Licks his lips. “Not the Mage?” he asks.

“The murderer,” Pe

“If that’s true,” Agatha says, “then we need to tell the Mage about all of this. Immediately.”

66

PENELOPE

All right, fine. It was probably a mistake to bring Agatha.

But it had gone on too long, all this tension between her and Simon. I didn’t want them to go all year without sorting it out.

And I thought maybe a good mystery might distract her from—well, from everything else. I should have remembered that Agatha doesn’t appreciate a good mystery.

And also that she’s the world’s worst snitch.

“We have to tell the Mage,” she says, crossing her arms and then her legs. “You all know it.”

She’s doing her best not to look at either of the boys.… I also should have thought through their whole love-triangle dynamic before I dragged Agatha to Baz’s house. But their whole love-triangle dynamic is so persistently stupid, you can’t blame me for blocking it out.

“Agatha,” I say, “we’re just starting to make some progress here.”