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‘I’m sorry, Dad.’
Henry shrugged, still with no words to say.
‘Do you want jam on your crumpets?’ he finally said, hoping with everything he had that would be the end of it.
Pe
She walked in and tapped her on the shoulder. Daisy smiled at her and removed her headphones.
‘Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck today at school. They are going to love you, I promise you that.’
‘Aw thanks,’ Daisy said, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tight. Pe
‘You should totally learn to balance a ball on your nose then, that will give them something to talk about.’
Daisy laughed. ‘I’m so excited that Mr Cartwright is going to be my form teacher too, he is so cool.’
‘You will love him, but I bet all the children are going to be cool too.’
Daisy moved back to the table as she wiped it down with a cloth, capturing the crumbs with her hand.
‘So… good date last night?’
Pe
‘Oh honey, I was only messing around. I didn’t really go out with Fabio. I went for di
‘You went to di
Henry was still waving his arms around but Pe
‘He didn’t say when I saw him this morning.’
‘Maybe your dad thought that you might think it was a double date, when it definitely wasn’t. It was just weird that Maggie invited me and Daniel invited your dad and they didn’t know.’
‘But… I heard you last night.’
‘You heard me?’
Daisy blushed. ‘Having sex.’
Oh god. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.
‘I told Dad I heard you and Fabio… at it last night and he seemed really upset.’
Henry had given up gesturing now.
What could she say to rescue this scenario? That Fabio had come round for a late-night booty call? That she’d had incredible sex with Daisy’s dad and all the grunts and moans were in fact him? There was nothing that she could say that would make this horrible situation any better. Suddenly she had a brainwave. It wasn’t the best idea, hell it was probably the worst idea in the history of all ideas, but it was the only thing she had.
‘I wasn’t having sex, Daisy.’
‘But I heard you.’
Pe
Daisy stared at her in horror. Henry stumbled out of the room, backwards, gripping his mouth really hard so Daisy wouldn’t hear him laugh. The clock ticked on the kitchen wall and no one said anything. Pe
‘You were watching porn?’
‘Well no, not really. I put the telly on in the bedroom and fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and this couple were at it like rabbits on the screen, shouting and moaning and he was grabbing her breasts. They were sweaty and oily and…’ Oh god, she was talking about porn with a sixteen year old. ‘It was quite disgusting.’ No, not disgusting, she didn’t want Daisy to think that there was anything wrong or dirty about sex. ‘I mean, not disgusting, sex isn’t disgusting with two people that love each other, it’s beautiful.’ Pe
Silence again, punctuated by tiny whimpers coming from the other room.
‘So, I need to go and walk Bernard.’
Daisy nodded, numbly.
‘Good luck for, erm…later.’
Still no words from Daisy and Henry clearly wasn’t going to help her out.
‘I thought perhaps we could go Christmas tree shopping later, you guys need a tree and we could go and pick one and then you and your dad can decorate it.’
Daisy nodded again and Pe
Pe
He walked round the back of the house and gri
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘I hate you.’
He burst out laughing. ‘What did you want me to do?’
‘You could have helped me.’
‘You were doing fine on your own.’
She laughed with embarrassment. ‘I talked to your daughter about porn.’
‘Well yes, probably not your finest moment, but I haven’t laughed like that in forever.’
‘I’ve probably scarred her for life.’
‘I doubt it, she’s a hardy sort. Besides, she does know about sex, it’s not like she leads a sheltered existence. I’ve made sure I’ve talked to her about all that. I don’t want her to end up pregnant at sixteen like her mum did.’
‘She thinks I watch porn.’
‘Oh no, I think she’s very clear that you find porn disgusting.’
She couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Did she say anything to you after?’
‘No, she was probably too traumatised to say anything.’
Pe
‘It’s not fu
‘It really is.’ He caught her by the waist and tried to kiss her on the forehead but he was laughing too much.
‘Stop laughing.’ Though Pe
‘Oh, I don’t know about that, you’re just going to have to work really hard at being extra quiet.’