Sweet Temptation

I lift my head and look at her so she’ll know I mean it, but I see worry in her eyes. I don’t blame her for needing reassurance.

“I’ll be good. I won’t let anything happen.”

As we stand there with our eyes locked, the wait is excruciating. I need this so badly. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says no.

A

“Let’s go,” she says.

She bites her bottom lip nervously as a grin spreads across my face. We both let out exultant laughs, in disbelief that this is happening. I grab her bag and we simultaneously search around us. No whisperers in sight. I never let go of A

For the first time in my life I think to myself, So, this is what it feels like to live.

For the first time in my life, I am alive.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Let Me Kiss You

“Our night is lit by the city moon, and I see myself reflect on you.

I know what I was meant to do.”

—“Aviation High” by Semi Precious Weapons

The whole day has been a disastrous embarrassment. First we show up at my flat, where I’m berated by Michael for missing another practice, then I realize the bloody flat is in ruin from my party on Thursday and A

I’d rubbed her finger where she touched the powder and said, “The way this made you feel? That is what you do to me.” It’s so rare when I can make her understand the madness I feel for her.

If she hadn’t fled the flat to clear her mind at that very moment, I would have had no choice but to do all the sordid things to her I’ve been dreaming of.

Now I’m standing in my room, staring at the neat piles of dirty clothes along my wall, all organized by color. I shake my head. I can’t believe I allowed her to talk me into this. A

I lift my chin as I get a whiff of something divine drifting down the hall. Slowly, I follow the scents to the kitchen doorway, where A

It’s been roughly eighteen months since I kissed her. Sinfully too long. When I begin to think of my hands on her, my mouth tasting hers, my body goes completely rigid with intense need, and my sight begins to fog.

Take her.

Take her now.

Right here.

Who needs whisperers when you have a mind like mine that makes completely devious demands of your body? I’m rational enough to know I ca

A

Smart girl.

I have to touch her, and she knows it. I fight every urge that’s giving me permission to be rough. With every step I take toward her, she takes a step back, until she’s cornered against the sink and I’m inches away, hovering over her, breathing in the air she exhales. I’m taking great care, because I know she can see the beast in my eyes. I know she’s both excited and frightened. I don’t trust my hands right now, so I grab the sink on either side of her waist. I will not let go.

And then I lower my head and I take her mouth with mine.

Sugar. Salt. Soft and tender. Unmistakably A

Oh, God, yes. This is what I have been missing.

A

When her pear-filled scent fills my senses, my body urges me again to take her.

A

She has no clue just how okay I am. I want to show my gratitude in a very big way. I told her tonight wasn’t going to be about that, but apparently my body didn’t get the message.

I push myself away from her and rake my hands through my hair.

“I need another bloody shower.”

I’m proud of myself for the self-control I’ve shown, but the showers are getting old. My body knows when it’s being duped. The daily pain I deal with is so much more defined when A

I run the towel over my head one last time and I’m about to drop it on the floor when I remember A

See? I can do this. I’ll even take out the last bag of rubbish without her asking.

I’m feeling good when I run into A

Shiiiiiiite . . . shite, shite, shite!

It’s the fucking note A

“I heard a rumor that you’re not working,” A

I wish I could say yes, completely.

“Mostly. I work if whisperers come around or if my father gives me a task, but even with Marissa’s nieces it’s not usually sex.”

She pauses and I want to tell her everything—about how hard I’ve tried and how good I’ve mostly been, but the proof is right there in her hands that I’ve done something, sex or not.

“Were there whisperers here when you had people over?” When she asks this, I know what she’s really asking. Did you hook up with her because you had to or because you wanted to? Emptiness fills me. I won’t lie to her, even though I’d rather gouge my eye out than admit this.

I shake my head. “No.” I wasn’t working.

She crumples the note and turns away from me, back to the washing machine, and I feel as if I’m falling. I know how she’s feeling. I know that sickening sense of betrayal, and now I’m feeling like a hypocritical prat for giving her such a hard time about a kiss with Kope when I’d done even worse. God, if Kopano had done to her what I’d done to the other A

“A

How can I make this go away? She turns to face me and her eyes are wet. I shove my hands into my hair, wondering how I can salvage this night.