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“He would feel the loss,” she said. “Doane is right about your death hurting him.” She frowned. “You don’t want me talking about him. You don’t want Zander that near me. He can’t hurt me, Mama.”
“You’re right, I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Then we won’t do it. There are enough people who care about you without mentioning Zander.”
She was silent a moment. “Is he … your grandfather, Bo
“Ask him. You don’t want to hear about him from me.”
Eve didn’t know why she had asked that question. It had come tumbling out with irresistible force. “There are a number of questions I have to ask him when Doane brings us together.” She added wryly, “Providing he allows us enough time before he presses the magic button.” She held up her hand as Bo
“Like Jane?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t mention Jane because you didn’t, Mama. You talked about Joe’s being hurt, but you didn’t say anything about Jane.”
“Of course I meant Jane, too.”
“But you didn’t say her name. Only Joe’s.”
Eve stiffened. “What are you saying? I love Jane, and I know she loves me. I wasn’t trying to leave her out in any way.”
“You do love her, but not in the same way you love me. It may even be a better way because she’s your best friend. We never got the chance to become friends. That comes later between a mother and daughter.”
“Then what difference does it make that I—Are you saying that I made some Freudian slip?“
“Maybe. I believe that I was always in the way of your relationship with Jane. You were searching for me, thinking about me for years and years.”
“Jane always said that she never resented it.”
“And that proves that she loves you. She wanted whatever would make you happy.” She paused. “Just as I do. I feel very close to Jane, Mama. But she shuts me out. I can’t … reach her. It didn’t bother me before … well, a little. I understood that she’d put up barriers to keep from being hurt. But I can’t let her be alone when she—you may have to do it for me.”
“You’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”
“I just want you to know that she’s willing to do anything for you. Would she miss you as Joe would?” She hesitated, then said quietly, “She’d die for you, Mama.”
She inhaled sharply. “Bo
“I just want you to know that it’s not only your life you’re fighting for. Fight for Jane. She’s going to need you.”
“Don’t you dare be all mysterious and enigmatic, young lady. Explain.”
Bo
“Of course it occurred to me. It also occurred to me that you’re trying to change the subject.” And, knowing Bo
“It doesn’t work that way, Mama.”
“I’m tired of hearing that. If I were there with you, then maybe I’d understand about—” She stopped. “I don’t want to argue. These moments with you are too precious. I’ll do my job. I’ll help my Jane.”
“I know you will,” Bo
“The last time you were able to come to me was when I inhaled that gas at the cabin. You disappeared when I started to come out of it. How much time do we have?”
“A long time,” she said gravely. “A few hours, I think.”
“What?”
“He gave you a very strong dose.” She looked her in the eye. “A little more, and we would have been together.”
Together. Death. “That potent?”
“He’s angry with you all the time now. You hurl those barbed remarks at him, and they sting. He’s begi
Eve was feeling a little reckless herself. “At least it brought you to me.”
“Mama…” She shook her head. “Yes, it brought me to you. Now, we’ll sit here and take what’s been given.”
“And you’ll tell me how you erased Kevin’s reconstruction from my mind. I know he’s right in front of me. Why can’t I see him?”
“He doesn’t exist right now. I can hold him at bay as long as we’re joined together. I can feel his anger, but he can’t do anything.”
“You said you were getting stronger fighting him.”
“I am. Because of you,” she said. “And these hours with you are going to make me even stronger. As I said, Doane may have done us a favor.”
“And Kevin will be angry with him. What a pity.”
Bo
Eve gazed at her and felt a surge of pure love. Spirit or not, this was her little girl, who had been born with a very special soul. She had been able to reach out and touch, gather, and inspire love in everyone who met her. Eve had been lucky to have been able to keep her for those seven years, and she had given up bitterness long ago.
“I love you, Bo
“Is that a correct word? You always used to correct me if I didn’t use correct English.”
“That was then, this is now. I don’t care. You know what I mean.”
“I’ll keep Kevin away. You go after Doane.” She smiled. “Don’t be afraid, can’t you feel the strength flowing between us? It will get stronger and stronger all the time we’re together. It’s like a deep river, and it will keep everything afloat. Can’t you feel it?”
“No.” Was love strength? If it was, then she knew the river Bo
CHAPTER
10
Stanley, Illinois
“SHE’S HEADING FOR CHICAGO,” Trevor said as he glanced at the GPS. They picked up Harriet’s signal almost immediately after they had gotten on the road, and had been traveling at a safe distance behind her for the past hours. “Now why would she be heading for the big city…?”
“A good place to get lost…” Jane said as she accessed the dossier that Catherine Ling had e-mailed to her. “But there’s no indication that she has friends or a co
“Good idea,” Caleb said. “Of course, she could be going to the airport. Chicago has co
“But we don’t know that she wants to leave Chicago,” Trevor said. “Maybe there’s something she wants to do there.”
“The nuke,” Jane said. “You believe she knows where it is?”