Ever Enough

Without any need for further convincing, Fi

“Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. “More Fi

He slowly pulled out of me before surging forward again, touching that spot that was deep inside of me. His movements gradually became more rigorous. He would bring me right to the edge of orgasm and then he’d slow. I wanted to scream and cry and yell at him to send me into oblivion but I also didn’t want this feeling to stop. In the midst of Fi

I was feeling everything; from regret, sadness, hurt, doubt, happiness, elation, joy… but more than anything I felt love. I didn’t recognize it at first but when I did, I opened to it. I had shut down after I’d lost the baby. Being here in this room—and as close to Fi

Just then Fi

“Don’t cry Tiny Girl.” He pulled out and pushed forward again. “Please don’t cry. Just give it all to me… be with me. Let me love you.” He said.

“Oh my god I’m going to come.” My body started to shake. My vision went hazy and my eyes rolled back.

“I love you Emilyn. I love you so much.” He ground out.

Knowing it was Fi

He collapsed on top of me. I ran my hands up and down the smooth skin of his back until his breathing evened out. When he recovered enough, he pulled back and slid out of me. I felt empty and I didn’t like it. He lay down on the pillow beside me reaching over to hold my hand.

“That was more than I could have ever of wished for. You are amazing.” He said with tenderness.

“What?” I said with a yawn.

He chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”

I turned to face him. “Yes.”

“Why did you come over while I wasn’t here?”

“Because I didn’t think I was ready to see you. Harper told me that you were at Ky’s parents' house. It wasn’t like I pla

He nodded. I knew I’d hurt his feelings by doing it, but he didn’t say so. He was rubbing his thumb on the pad of my palm.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice your things were gone?”

“No. But I have to ask, why did you keep the room like we’d left it that day?”

“Because these are your things. I’ve told you before, this house is yours too, and that means that this is still your room. I’d hoped you’d come back, so I left it all the way that it was. If you’re asking me if I went through anything I didn’t, I swear.”

“Oh, I don’t care if you did, I have nothing to hide. I just wondered why, that’s all.” I paused, loving the sensation of his hand on mine. “How did you know that I was even here?”

“Your very useful friend went home and noticed that you weren’t there. She went out and checked the coffee shop, and since you weren’t there either, she called Ky to ask if he might know where you were. I overheard the conversation and ran out of the house. I honestly didn’t think I was going to find you here, but I was relieved when I pulled up and saw your car. You probably should have left a note for Harper.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that that.” My work excuse clearly would have been a bust.

His hair was drying in all different directions. I wanted to run my fingers through it. Instead of overthinking it as I usually would, I just did it. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

“Can I ask you something else?” He looked like he was going to ask me something that was a bit more personal than just my whereabouts.

“Yes.”

“Just now, while we were together, why the tears?” His face searched mine. Probably for any sign that I might get up and run. He deserved to hear what I had to say though.

I rolled to my side. “Okay, truth time. I’m sorry Fi

“Always.” He said.

“I don’t blame you Fi

His brows furrowed. “That’s a load of shit and you know it.”

I put my finger to his lips. “Wait, I’m not done talking yet.” When he stayed quiet I continued. “I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you Fi

He swallowed hard and I saw his Adams apple move up and down. “It’s something that you can share with me anytime you want Em.”

My eyes softened. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through the past two months Fi

“Marry me Emilyn.”

My mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I said, marry me. I love you too. Be with me. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”

I searched those piercing blue eyes for any sign that he was joking. He wasn’t, and I was about to crush him.

“Fi

“Why not?”

I started crying. “The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I’m leaving. I’ve been thinking about this over the past few weeks and I think I need to leave and start over somewhere.” And before he could say what I knew he was going to I said, “Alone.”