Ever Enough

Fi

I looked away from Finley and direct into Harpers eyes. “I promise I’ll be alright. We’re just going to get some fresh air and talk. I’ll come get you when I’m ready to leave, okay? I love you for being concerned but I’m alright.” I leaned in and gave her a tight hug.

While she was close to me she whispered, “I swear to god if he hurts you I will string him up by his toes and shove a hot fire poker in his ass.”

That made me laugh, which was what she’d wanted. We pulled away from each other and she smiled at me before turning around and walking back to the table. Kyler was watching her every move and I made a mental note to ask her about that in the car later.

Moving towards the outside again, Fi

“Thanks for helping me out to your car and inside my house last night. I wasn’t sure how I got to bed but Harper told me what you did. So yeah, thank you.” I took a deep breath and looked out onto the nine-hole golf course the hotel sat on.

I heard Fi

I put my hand in his. “Sure.”

Grasping my hand he spun me around to face him. I lifted my other hand up to put up on his shoulder, while he simultaneously placed the hand he was holding on the other shoulder. God he was so much bigger than he used to be. Slowly raising my eyes to meet his, I saw him give me a slight smile. Fi

I couldn’t stand here and dance with the first man that I ever loved and listen to him sing to me so I interrupted. “So how is California?”

He stopped humming and looked down at me. “It’s been going well. Kyler and I have been writing like always, and we just bought a house together. It’s a different world out there. I’ve actually been thinking of buying a house back here so I have place to get away from it all, you know?”

“I’d heard you two were doing well. I’m happy for you Fi

“That’s where you’re wrong Em. I’m successful yes, and Kyler and I make quite a bit off what we do, but whoever told you I was happy was sadly mistaken.” I tipped my head back to look up at him.

His eyes seemed to search mine for something, I just didn’t know what. “How could you not be happy? You’re writing music like you always wanted, you have a house, money,” I paused for a second and looked away, “and a beautiful girlfriend.”

He stopped moving and put his hand under my chin. “Look at me Emilyn.”

I didn’t want to, but I stared at him and waited for him to speak.

“Val and I are done. I was only with her because I was tired of feeling so lonely. Kyler is awesome and he’s like a brother to me, but something is missing.” He was watching me intently when he brought his hand up and he grazed his finger along my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to cry at the contact. “How are you and Weston, Em?”

Why was he asking me this? Was I supposed to lie and tell him that everything was picture perfect? That we were a picture of marital bliss? That West made me happy and I couldn’t see myself without him? I’d never been able to lie to Fi

The whole time I was speaking his eyes were bouncing around all over my face, and as I finished speaking, his hands moved to cup my cheeks. I shouldn’t let him touch me like this when we’re stood talking about Weston. And definitely not when he is the one man that could shatter me.

“Are you happy?”

I paused, “I have a beautiful house, a successful husband, money, health, family and friends that love me.”

“That’s not what I asked. I want to know if you’re happy. I don’t want a generic answer or what’s expected of you Em.”

I felt like I was two seconds away from collapsing to the ground and curling into a ball to protect myself from him. If I didn’t answer, I knew he would keep asking until I gave him the truth. Not trusting myself to speak, I shook my head.

He leaned forward to touch his forehead to mine; his eyes closed tight. Jesus he smelled amazing. I felt myself hold him tighter than necessary. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. He opened those bright blue eyes and they looked like there was so much conviction behind them, “I miss you Em. I mean I really miss you!”

That’s it, him saying the words I’d wanted to hear forever broke the dam and tears streamed down my face. I pulled my forehead from his. “How can you say that to me? I’m married Fi

He took a step towards me, causing me to step back. We made this move again and again, as if we were in some sort of messed up dance. I kept my eyes on him while he stalked towards me. “Stop” I whispered as my back reached the wall. My eyes were closed and I held my palms out in front of me in surrender.

Standing in front of me, he reached up and brushed away the tears on the left side of my face. I couldn’t fight it. I opened my eyes and looked up at his handsome face, I leaned into his hand and my body shivered involuntarily. He must have taken it as a sign because he immediately pulled me up against his body with his other hand. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse with emotion. “No Emilyn. I can’t stop thinking about you and I hate seeing you like this.”

That was all it took. I must have given him some sort of signal because the next thing I knew, his mouth was on mine. It started as a soft gentle brush of lips but built into a deeper, hungrier kiss. His tongue slid out of his mouth and traced my lower lip, causing my body to react. My hands reached up and grasped his shirt in clenched fists as I pulled him closer to me. I needed him, I wanted him. His kiss held more passion than I had remembered. The hand that had been on my cheek slid back into my hair and held my neck, while the other slid behind my back, pressing me as close to his body as I could get.