Tatterdemalion

Finally, there was nothing left. Lindsay was weak and empty and human, his breath rasping in his

throat, his body struggling to survive without an essential element it had known all his life. He had no idea how he was alive. He felt dead, like a drowned man borne up by the untamable water.

Ezqel came to stand at Lindsay’s head, placing both hands on Lindsay’s temples. He spoke in a

strange language, holding Lindsay’s head in place like his hands were a vise. There was a hiss and crackle

and new light, red and gold mingled with the blue of the guul’s heart glowing. Lindsay was burning. The

words he didn’t know were on fire, burning through his skin. He couldn’t move to stop it, couldn’t wipe the fire and ink from his skin, because his body was nothing but a husk. All that was left was his mind, trapped in the prison of his flesh.

Ezqel’s dark eyes were full of power and nothing else; he was filled to overflowing with it. Pure

magic pushed through Lindsay and wetness welled at his throat and wrists. Lindsay’s husk was full of

Ezqel’s power; it seeped into his bones to the marrow.

The broken places in him cried out to be healed and there was the sickening twist of something being

set right. Ezqel let go and stepped back with a final word. All the magic that had been taken from Lindsay

rushed back in, racing joyously through his body.

Lindsay rolled onto his side, curling up, gasping for breath. His cheeks were wet with tears, but he

wasn’t afraid anymore. It was like he’d been filled up with pleasure. His magic was dancing under his skin, waiting to be let out. He wanted to roll around and bask in it. His magic ran the course of his body and

found it whole again. He felt so peaceful.

“Be still.” Ezqel was gently moving him to detach the heart. The needles slid away without pain and

the ugly thing fell harmlessly into Ezqel’s hand. “Izia.”

“I’m right here.” Izia draped Lindsay’s robe over him and gathered him into her arms, helping him sit

up. Lindsay could feel and smell the ink and ichor and sweat thick on his skin.

“Take him to get cleaned.” That was Dane’s voice, so rough and familiar, like stone under Lindsay’s

feet. Dane was right there, like the sun. His expression was tender, but there was pain in his eyes.

Lindsay wanted to tell him not to hurt, life was too wonderful to hurt, but his mouth wouldn’t make

words yet. The things he knew and felt were too big for something as small as speech. He let Izia help him

up, and he pulled the robe around himself. As Izia led him away, he looked over his shoulder again to make

sure Dane would be all right.

“I’m fine.” Dane knew what Lindsay was thinking, just like always. “Go get clean, little bu

Of course Dane would be fine. Lindsay put his head on Izia’s shoulder and let her lead him back the

way they’d come in. Nothing in the world could ever really be wrong again.

The pool in the first room swirled as though it were waiting for Lindsay. The water had been tugging

at his ankles all the way down the passage. Izia pulled his robe away from him.

“Go on,” she said gently. “It’s quite deep, but it’s safe.”

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Lindsay let the water pull him in and the surface closed over him. It was cold, but it was the cold of

life. The currents washed him clean and tumbled him over, moving around him like great snakes. For the

longest time, he didn’t need to breathe. There was so much life in him, he wasn’t even cold, and the water

wanted him to stay. When Lindsay broke the surface at last, Taniel was waiting for him.

“Izia wants me to check your pulse.” Taniel knelt at the edge of the pool. In the lichen glow, he

looked like he was made of amber. Lindsay swam to him and Taniel felt for the beating in his throat.

Serious-faced, Taniel counted silently, his lips moving with it. “Very good.” He pulled his hand away and

smiled at Lindsay. “How do you feel?”

“Perfect.” It was the first word Lindsay could find that came close. “Where did Izia go?” How long

had he been in the water? When he looked over his shoulder at the passage to Ezqel’s laboratory, he could

see blue light rising. “Are they…did they start already?”

Dane. Lindsay scrambled out of the water, searching for his robe. Dane had been there for him when he was afraid, and he should have been there for Dane. “My robe,” he demanded, feeling tears well up

already.

“Here.” Taniel wrapped it around him. It smelled and felt clean, like it had just been washed. Lindsay

didn’t bother to wonder about it, but shoved his arms in the sleeves. Taniel didn’t let go when he tried to pull away. “Lindsay. You need to stay.” Taniel’s voice was soft but stern. “I’m needed, if you’re okay to be left alone.”

“I…” Lindsay’s eyes stung. “I’m fine.” Why hadn’t they waited for him?

“It will be well.” Taniel helped do up the robe and kissed Lindsay’s cheek. “It will be well. I know it.”

With that, he was splashing back up the passage and into the bright light.

Did Dane have something to hide? Lindsay was heartbroken and ashamed at once. He didn’t have any

right to Dane. Dane wasn’t his. He was lucky that Dane shared so much with him. He fiddled with the ties

on his robe, feeling mortal and small and dirty again.

The room was interesting enough. Maybe it was like a waiting room. Maybe not so different. Lindsay

trailed his fingers over the lichen. What did it know? And what did it say about Lindsay that lichen knew things he didn’t?

Lindsay was about to laugh at himself when a noise from the laboratory startled him. It wasn’t just a

noise. It was a cry, and it came again. There was so much pain in it, so much loss, that he was moving

before he could think better of it. Dane.

At the opening into the laboratory, Lindsay made himself stop, one hand raised to shield his eyes. The

heart looked like a sapphire now, on fire from the inside, incredibly lovely and painfully bright. It beat on Dane’s bare chest where he lay on the stone table the way Lindsay had. Ezqel was a stark shadow cutting

into the light as he moved around the table, speaking a stream of arcane words in a low voice.

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