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I began the usual protest. I was an old woman. Our religions were different. My people did not care for a foreign marriage.
He lifted his hand and said: “May I ask Your Majesty one question. Is it because your affections are given elsewhere?”
I pretended to be astonished. “There are no other negotiations for marriage at this time.”
“I mean one near to you … one of your own subjects. I refer, Your Majesty, to the Earl of Leicester. It is said that you are so enamored of him that he will always stand between you and any marriage that you might make.”
“The Earl of Leicester has been my very good friend for many years.”
“Yet he keeps secrets from Your Majesty.”
“Secrets? What secrets?”
“Such as his marriage.”
“Marriage!” I cried, taken off my guard. “For some months, Your Majesty, the Earl of Leicester has been the husband of that lady who was previously the Countess of Essex.”
“This ca
“It is a matter which is well known to most. Only Your Majesty appears to have been kept in the dark.”
I ca
Simier was all concern.
“I should have broken the news more gently,” he said. “I thought you must be aware of it…as so many are. It is distressing to hear news of a subject's perfidy. Pray give me leave to retire and send your ladies to you.”
I did not attempt to stop him. When he had gone and my ladies were with me, I cried: “Send Burghley to me … Sussex … Walsingham … I would have word with them without delay.”
One of my ladies put a chair for me to sit in. She would have given me a concoction to smell for she feared I was going to faint, but I pushed her angrily away.
Sussex came with Burghley.
I cried: “Did you know that Leicester is married? He has married that she-wolf whom I took into my care.”
They said they knew.
“Everyone knew … except the Queen!” I cried. “By God's Precious Soul, how can I ever trust those around me again?”
“My lady … Your gracious Majesty …” said Sussex, “the news was kept from you out of concern for you.”
“Concern for me! When those two scoundrels conspire against me!”
Sussex said gently: “It ca
“They deceived me! They deceived the Queen! Let Leicester be sent to the Tower at once.”
Sussex looked at me earnestly and shook his head.
“Do you hear me!” I cried.
He said: “I hear Your Majesty, and I must tell you that you ca
I glared at Sussex. “You would tell me, my lord, what I must and must not do?”
He looked at me steadily. “If I thought it was for the good of Your Majesty, I would risk displeasing you.”
There had always been something noble about Sussex. He prided himself on doing what he considered right. I could see that Burghley was gently shaking his head; warning me that I must curb my anger. I must not let people see how deeply Robert's defection had wounded me.
Sussex was saying: “Your Majesty must consider the effect such an action would have on the people. If they saw how great was your anger, they would believe those evil rumors which were once circulated about you and Leicester. I tell you this because I am prepared to risk your wrath in my zeal to serve you well.”
“And you, Burghley?” I said.
“Sussex is right, Your Majesty. You ca
“They have deceived me all these months. When I was at Wanstead… even then…”
Both men regarded me solemnly.
“I will never have her at Court,” I said. “I never want to see her evil face again. As for him… let him not think that he has escaped my anger. He is dismissed from Court. Let him go to Mireflore Tower in Greenwich Park and stay there.”
Sussex sighed with relief.
The first shock was over.
I WANTED TO SHUT myself away, to grieve in private. I had never known torment of this intensity. I could not stop images coming into my mind. I saw them together… that woman and my Robert. And how long had they been deceiving me, laughing at me? How dared they! I would never forgive them… either of them… certainly not her. She should be banished forever. I was already begi
I called on his sister Mary. She was disturbed to see me in such a state. I could see her lips quivering behind the veil she wore.
I said: “The rogue…to deceive me so…to marry that woman. Devereux died … conveniently, did he not? And after all I have done for him… What would he have been without me?”
“Sir Robert Dudley,” said Mary quietly, “member of an illustrious family.”
“Many members of which managed to find their way to the block… through their own pride!” I cried tersely.
“My grandfather went to the block to appease the people who blamed him for the taxes imposed on them by your grandfather.”
“Rogues!” I shouted. “The entire family. I should be thankful that I found out in time.”
She said: “If Your Majesty will give me leave to retire … You will understand I ca
“You talk of insults. That brother of yours…he has taken everything and given nothing.”
“He would have given his life for Your Majesty.”
“Oh, Saint Robert! Lustful Robert who ca
“Your Majesty is beside herself…”
“I would I were beside them. I would send them to the Tower… both of them… and imprison them in different towers. I would imprison them in spite of Sussex.”
“Your Majesty is too wise to do any such thing.”
“Wise!” I cried. “To trust those who have betrayed me!”
Mary was weeping silently and I found it hard to look at her, for even in such a moment I remembered all that she had suffered for my sake.
I turned away and went to my apartments where I shut myself in… alone with my grief.
The next day I heard that Mary had left Court. I wondered whether she had gone to him. They were a devoted family—those Dudleys; and they all looked on Robert as a god. They thought there was no one like him and so—God help me—did I.
Within a few days my anger against him relented. It was not his fault, I continually told myself. It was that she-wolf. She had special powers of sorcery, and what man could stand out against that? He had been seduced by that wicked woman.
I sent word that he might leave Mireflore for Wanstead if he wished. So he went and I suppose she joined him there. I heard that Mary Sidney was with them. No doubt they were discussing the fall of the Dudleys. Let them. Let them think he had ruined his chances at Court forever.
I took his picture out of the little box in which I kept it. How handsome he was. How well the artist had caught that look of distinction which no other man I had ever seen had possessed. I wept a little over that portrait. I kissed it and put it carefully away.
Then I plunged into an even more intense flirtation with Simier whom I affectionately called My Monkey.
I WAS ASSUMING a gaiety I did not feel to show my indifference to Leicester's marriage. Rumor reached me that Robert was furious with Simier for telling me of it as he had. Of course I should have had to know in time. I supposed Robert had been trying to formulate some brilliant scheme for breaking the news to me and making his excuses.