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She would not answer and I was begi
I cried: “I grow impatient. His name! Come girl, do you want me to force you to talk?”
She fell to her knees and buried her face in my skirts. I was becoming quite sorry for her. She was really distressed, and the girl had had such a bad time with Sidney writing all those love poems to Penelope Rich while he was married to her, and then dying at Zutphen after her going out to nurse him and losing the child she was carrying. Yes, I was sorry for her. Perhaps she had been lonely. Well, I would make this knave marry her—if he were not already married—and the marriage should take place before the child was born.
“Are you going to tell me, Frances?” I said more gently.
She raised her agonized eyes to my face and nodded.
“Well?” I prompted.
She began to talk incoherently. “We met in the Netherlands…He was with the army…He was there with Philip…We have known each other well…We loved…We… married…”
“Who?” I demanded.
There was a pause of a second or two; then she said in a voice I could scarcely hear: “My lord Essex.”
“Essex!” I thundered.
She rose to her feet and took a few paces away from me, and without asking permission she turned and ran as fast as she could from my presence.
Essex! I thought. My Essex! And he had philandered with this girl, Walsingham's daughter! No, he had married her. He had dared to do that without telling me … without asking my permission. Oh, the traitor! The deceiver! All the time he had been showing me how much he adored me, he had been making love with this girl… even marrying her!
I shouted: “Send for Essex.”
He came sauntering in with that nonchalance which delighted me while it angered me.
He would have taken my hand and kissed it but I stood glowering at him.
“So, Master Husband,” I said, “you are here.”
Understanding dawned on him and what infuriated me was that he did not care. He knew that I had learned of his marriage and he was shrugging his shoulders. How different it had been with Leicester when I heard that he had married Lettice Knollys. He had made an excuse. I had refused him so many times, and he had been contrite and eager to make me understand that whoever came into his life, I was the first and always would be. With Essex there had been no suggestion of marriage with me. On the other hand he was my favorite young man and I had made it clear that I wanted to be aware of all the proposed marriages of my important courtiers.
He said rather carelessly: “So the news is out?”
“Your pregnant wife has told me.”
“Well it could not remain a secret forever, could it?”
“And why must it be a secret?” I asked.
“Because I feared Your Majesty's disapproval.”
“You were right to fear that.”
“I thought you were fond of Frances. You are a godmother to Sidney's child. Her father was one of your most able statesmen and you always showed great appreciation of his services.”
“To marry… without my consent…you!”
He replied coolly: “I adore Your Majesty. You are a divine being, apart from all others. I have loved you from my boyhood when I first saw you at Chartley. My great joy in life is to serve you…”
“And take steps behind my back?”
“I am a man who must live his own life and marry where he will.”
“If there is one thing I hate most in my subjects it is deceit.”
“No deceit was intended. Frances's father approved of the match.”
“I've no doubt he did. He wanted his daughter well provided for.”
“It seemed to us that his consent was enough.”
“You are insolent,” I cried. “You have enjoyed great favor at Court. I gave you that. I brought you to the position you now enjoy. You must not forget that I can cast you down as quickly as I brought you up.”
“That is true,” he said lightly, “and I must accept Your Majesty's decision as to my future.”
“Why do this in secret?”
“I know Your Majesty's uncertain temper and I had naturally no desire to arouse it.”
“You insolent dog!” I cried.
“That is not insolence, Your Majesty,” he replied with a slight smile, “just honest frankness for which you have so often commended me. If I had come to you and asked permission, you would have refused it. Then I should have had to disobey you. Now I have merely displeased you.”
I was so hurt, and angry with myself, for caring so much about this brash young man.
I said: “It is not the secrecy only which I find insupportable. I had plans for a grand marriage for you. I had been considering that… and now you go and tie yourself up with this girl…”
“Walsingham's daughter.”
“Pe
“I do not set great store by riches.”
“Nor on royal favor either, it would seem. I believe you will be wanting to spend time with your wife… particularly in view of her condition. So, we shall not be seeing you at Court for some time, I gather.”
It was dismissal. Banishment.
He bowed low and with great dignity retreated.
I WAS IN A mood of dejection for days. Essex's absence from Court reminded me of the old days when Leicester had not been there. What was it about them? Was it a certain magic in their personalities which made life seem flat without them?
Raleigh was much in evidence, and he was a charming young man, very interesting to talk to, as well as gallant in ma
Poor Frances! I thought. If stories are true she will have a philanderer for a husband. She should not forget that Essex had the blood of that she-wolf in his veins.
I danced merrily with my young men. I did not ask for news of Essex; but I was sad and depressed. How life had changed! My dearest one gone. Walsingham gone. And poor old Hatton sick and ailing. Nothing would be the same again.
Hatton had been out of favor. It was a foolish matter over some money he owed the crown. I had always been insistent that debts should be paid. In fact when I played cards in the evening and won I never allowed anyone to default on payment. I had not realized that Hatton was financially pressed. These men of mine lived in such splendor and spent so lavishly that I imagined they were richer than they made out to be.
Hatton had pleaded an inability to meet the debt and I had insisted it be paid.
The effect of this had worsened his illness so that he was confined to his bed and I was horrified to learn that the doctors considered his condition to be grave.
I immediately went to Ely House where I found him in bed. They were trying to make him take a posset, and I was alarmed to see that his hands shook so much that he could not hold the dish.
As I entered this was taken away from him and he made an attempt to rise. I quickly forbade him to do this, and then I dismissed those in the bedchamber and sat down beside his bed.
I could have wept to see the ravages of pain on the face of my once so handsome dancing partner.
“Your Majesty does me great honor …” he began.
“Be silent,” I commanded. “Talking takes too much effort for you. My dear old Mutton, here is a pretty pass. You must get well at once. I command you to do so. We miss you at Court.”
He smiled and shook his head and an infinite sadness swept over me.
“My Eyes have gone. My Moor has left me. I must keep my old Bellwether.”
“Your Majesty has made me very happy.”
“Methinks we have made each other happy over the years,” I said. “Now enough of this. What is this posset we have here?” I picked up the dish and sniffed it, recognizing it as a well known remedy and an efficacious one. “I know this well,” I said. “Many times have I benefited from it. Eat it. It will give you strength.”