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‘Edith, listen to me.’
‘I am no longer Edith. From henceforth my name is Matilda.’
‘What folly is this!’
‘I feel as though I am re-born. I love and am loved. I have waited long for this day and now it has come. I shall throw off all my past wretchedness. Even my name is changed. The King has christened me Matilda. I like the sound of it. Poor Edith was a sad orphan, harshly treated. Oh, I do not forget how you stood over me with the cane. I do not forget those stinging blows. You have been very cruel to me, Aunt Christina, and I rejoice that you no longer dare. You can never harm proud Matilda as you did poor defenceless Edith.’
‘You are mad.’
‘Nay, only happy as I never have been in my life.’
‘Let us kneel and pray to God to deliver you from your folly.’
‘I will not obey you now, Aunt Christina. I will pray for you, though. I will ask God to forgive you your cruelty to me.’
The Abbess was dumbfounded. That anyone should talk to her thus in her own Abbey! It was incredible! And this ungrateful girl had the support of the King and Christina knew that with a stroke of the pen he had it in his power to take her Abbey from her, to put another Abbess in her place. It was a different matter to prevent the marriage of her niece with Alan of Bretagne or the Earl of Surrey. This was the King.
She narrowed her eyes. ‘God will not prosper you.’ she said. ‘If you go to your lecher king you will not find life easy. I have told you what you must expect from men. I know your wanto
‘There is nothing you can say to me, Aunt Christina, to hurt me now. I am re-born.’
‘You heartless, ungrateful, wanton slut.’
The Abbess raged out of the cell, and Matilda—for she would always think of herself as Matilda in the future—threw back her hood and unbound her hair. Never again would she wear this hateful garment. She would have silks and velvets to caress her skin. Never, never again the hateful serge which was almost horsehair.
She was ready and would wait eagerly for the summons.
Christina could do nothing to prevent her leaving, though she uttered threats to the effect that this marriage should not take place because the Church would not allow it.
* * * * *
The King rode out from Winchester to the Welsh border. News would in time reach Nesta of his proposed marriage with the Princess Matilda and he must be the first to bring the tidings to her.
As he rode he considered his relationship with Nesta. He had felt more deeply towards her than towards any other woman. It was a fact of course that a man who loved women as much as he did could never be whole-heartedly devoted to one. Nesta would know this. She was one of those women who had been born with all the knowledge which Eve must have acquired when she ate the apple. There were such women. They were invariably irresistible. Love was their main preoccupation. They understood the needs of men, how to provoke them, how to satisfy them. There would never be a woman in his life to take the place of Nesta. Had it been possible he would have married her. But he had not been in a position to marry until now, and now he was in a position to marry none other than a Saxon Princess. He could not marry a woman who had been his mistress for many years unless of course her position warranted the match. No, Matilda was the bride for him. Sister to the King of Scotland, niece to the man whom many said should be the King of England—she was the perfect choice. A virgin too, a woman of impeccable reputation. Nesta would have to understand.
As he expected Nesta was eager to see him. The passion between them was as insistent as ever. It would have to be the last time, he told himself. Everything he did from now on would have to be considered. He doubted he would be a faithful husband but he wanted no deeply emotional relationships as this one with Nesta had been and could soon become again.
Their desire satiated, it was time to talk.
‘So you are now a king?’ said Nesta. ‘My little bastards are the King’s bastards. You have yet to see Henry, a fine little fellow, the image of his father, and bearing his name. Our son Robert is delighted with him.’
‘I will see him and I swear to advance the fortunes of them both.’
‘That is well for you, my King, if you wish to please their mother.’
‘I wish that as I always have.’
‘Yet you stay away so long.’
‘I have risked much to come and see you.’
‘Why so?’
‘Because I am recently King and my position is not yet as strong as I would have it.’
‘So I am flattered. But now that you are King...’
He dared not let her go on.
‘Nesta, I have to speak to you very seriously. I have to marry.’
She drew away from him, her eyes speculative.
He went on quickly: ‘They have chosen a bride for me.’
‘So you allow them to choose for you?’
‘I must needs tread warily. There are many who would substitute my brother Robert if they could. I rely on the help of the Saxons. By marrying the Princess Matilda I please them. A Saxon Princess, daughter of one King of Scotland, sister to another, a niece of Edgar Atheling. You see what I mean.’
‘I see it perfectly.’
‘Nesta, you have been as a wife to me. No one have I loved as I love you. Would to God I could take you to Winchester with me and proclaim you my Queen.’
‘Are you not the King to do what you will?’
‘A King rules by the will of his people.’
‘That was not one of your father’s rules.’
‘He used to say that while one takes a firm hand in government the will of the people is important. This is my destiny. I have always known it. My father prophesied it on his death bed. It had to come and if I wish to hold my crown I have to please these people...for a while.’
‘Why not postpone your marriage until you are able to please yourself?’
‘I would if I could. But I could lose my crown if I refused to marry Matilda.’
‘So I am not worth a crown?’
‘You know better than that. It would not only be the crown that was lost but the head that carried it.’
She let her fingers rest lightly on his neck. ‘I prefer you complete with head, my faithless lover.’
‘I knew you would understand. Let us talk in all seriousness. I shall not be able to see you for some time.’
‘You will be preoccupied with your bride. I wonder if she will please you as I did? Do you remember the first time?’
‘Never shall I forget it. How could any please me as you do.’
‘There you speak truth. You are a man of wide experience but you must admit that Nesta was the best.’
‘I could never deny it.’
‘Remember it...always.’
‘I do. Now listen. I shall be occupied with affairs of state...’
‘Including Matilda.’
‘She is in a ma
‘One of the more enjoyable duties I trust.’
‘Nesta, I am concerned for you. That is why I have pla
‘A life which does not contain visits from you will have little savour.’
‘Nay. I have spoken to a good man, a friend of mine, who has always had my cause at heart. He is Gerald de Windsor. He is good-looking, a fine virile fellow.’
‘So I am to be passed to him.’
‘You will marry him.’
‘This is indeed the end, when you pass me to another.’
‘I swear to you that I should be the happiest man in England if I could make you my Queen.’
‘Alas, poor helpless King, who ca
‘You have been constantly in my thoughts. I ca
‘I have never heard of him. Is he rich?’
‘He will be. I will give him a barony in Pembrokeshire on the day he marries you. There is a fine castle there, Carew Castle. Go and look at it. You will be enchanted by it. I will send Gerald to see you. It is for you to decide.’