Mambo in Chinatown

“She’s a great kid,” Ryan said as he shrugged on his jacket. “Reminds me of Evelyn, only less a

Lisa was fussed over by everyone, even Simone. I found Lisa in the teachers’ room after my last lesson, snuggled up next to Simone while Simone let her try on her collection of rhinestone jewelry. “A bit of sparkle on your upper arm will show off your muscle tone. However, never put something tight around your wrist onstage.”

“Why not?” asked Lisa. I wondered myself.

“Because that’s the most delicate part of your arm. You don’t want to obscure it. A loose bracelet would be all right.” Simone made a science out of being beautiful.

“We have to go now,” I said to Lisa. “I don’t have a nine thirty lesson, so Dominic said I could leave early to take you home.”

“I want to stay.”

“I know, but you’ve got school tomorrow.”

I gathered our things, changed into my outdoor clothing and shoes, and left with her as she waved good-bye to all of her new friends. On the subway, Lisa snuggled up to my shoulder and fell asleep. She slept like a baby that entire night.

—

The next day, Nina convinced me to take my food and eat with her in a small park near the studio. It was becoming just warm enough for us to have lunch outside. There was a guy sitting a few benches away from us, fiddling with his nose.

“He’s snorting coke,” Nina said, unwrapping her meatball sandwich.

I glanced over, trying to be subtle. “How do you know?”

“Because I’ve got loads of personal experience. I’ve done way worse than coffee and cigarettes.”

“Really?” I’d never tried anything. Although I’d seen other kids doing drugs at dances and parties sometimes, I knew better than to get involved.

“I was young and crazy before I got knocked up. I’d go down Avenue D in a miniskirt at three a.m., trying to score some coke. That’s the ugly side to this business, Charlie, you have to watch out for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“The drugs, the sex, the romance trap.”

“I haven’t really seen much of any of that.”

“Because our studio’s pretty clean, and you haven’t been to one of the large competitions yet. Those huge hotels, everyone’s there—students, pros, judges. It’s insane. Lots of people stay out of it but some of us dancers can get caught up in drugs because we need the energy. The job is so grueling sometimes, especially at the competitions where you’re doing event after event with the students, and then you have your own shows with your professional partner too. You’re nervous, you’re tired, it’s important that you dance well. Drugs can seem to be the solution.”

“Okay, but what do you mean by the romance trap?” I thought about Julian and Ryan, and how I felt while dancing with them.

“The whole idea that you’ll find your perfect ballroom partner and you’ll live happily ever after. It’s so easy to fall for it. I sure did. The entire system sets you up for it.”

I finally dared to ask what I’d always wondered about her. “What happened to you? With your partner and the baby?”

Nina swallowed the food in her mouth and took a slug of her soda. “I started dancing with Brian, Sammy’s dad, and we fell in love. We drank, did drugs together, woke up in the morning for rehearsal, danced at the same studio all day, then did it all again. I got pregnant by accident, and Brian proposed.”

I understood now. “That’s why you kept the baby.”

“When I got pregnant, he was really happy at first, and after I got over the shock of it, I was too. Believe me, I cleaned up my act right away, but then we discovered that we got along better stoned than sober.” She grimaced. “So there I was, getting huger every day, and of course the studio owners noticed. I was working at the downtown studio then. It wasn’t like here. They kicked me out as soon as I started showing. It was all so stressful. Anyway, Brian bailed on me when I was six months pregnant. There was another girl in Florida, a dancer of course. He was afraid. I don’t think he’s a bad guy.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “Hell, I was scared too. But I couldn’t run away and he could. If I were him, I don’t know, maybe I would have done the same thing. Not saying it’s right, just that I get it.”

“That must have been so hard.”

She nodded. “But Sammy woke me up. Thank goodness my parents helped us out. I knew I had to get myself together. It changed the way I thought about myself. You know, not like I’m all that, but guys always liked me. Then there I was, twenty pounds overweight and a single mom. I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up, but never a mother. Someday, I thought, or maybe never. I didn’t worry too much about that kind of thing. After Sammy was born, I made the rounds at the studios and no one wanted me back. I think rumors about the drugs had gone around, and I was a single mother on top of it. If it weren’t for Adrie

She gazed me and her eyes were intense. “You’re going to come across all of that stuff too, Charlie. I’m telling you, don’t screw up. Be careful with the men and the drugs, respect your body. I’ve been there. I was dancing with Brian, acting like he was the love of my life onstage, and it was so tempting to believe it was all real when it wasn’t.”

Eighteen

M y mambo with Ryan was more intimate than any dancing we’d ever done together before. There was one move where I did a reverse turn in his arms, then he went into a squat so I could lie down across his thighs, arching back until my head was close to the floor. He scooped me up with his arm so I could tuck myself into the right side of his body as he stood up and spun us both. It felt like he was cradling me, as if nothing could hurt me while I was with him. I knew from the texture of his cheek if he’d shaved early or late in the day. When he tried a new brand of cologne, I noticed right away. It was strange to know so intimately the body of a man I’d never kissed. It got to the point where I’d sense he was in the studio the moment he entered, even if I couldn’t see him. It was the way the doors shut, the shadow of his reflection in the mirror. I began to understand what Nina had been warning me about.

—

Then Adrie

“You look incredible. It’s only been a couple of months.” Adrie

“Do you know why actresses get back into shape so fast after a pregnancy? Because they have to. It’s their job to look a certain way. If they don’t, people will take photos of them and post them all over the Internet. I’m a dancer and coach. It’s my business to get back into shape because my body is my instrument.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“It’s not. The baby’s crying all night long. I still get up at five a.m. and get on the exercise bike. I used a treadmill when I was younger but now my knees and ankles are shot after all those years of hard dancing in heels.” Then she considered me. I was wearing one of her dresses, fit tight around the bust and hips, flaring out as the royal blue material went past my hips. “You’ve come far, Charlie. I’m proud of you. So when your competition student comes in, I want you to show me your routine. I’ve heard a lot about the two of you.”

Adrie

“Very impressive.” She frowned, as if she were trying to put her finger on something. “The two of you have a freshness that more jaded dancers lack. Use it. When you dance, I sense the energy in the movement, which is fantastic. I know you’re trying to incorporate all of the technical aspects of the dance at the same time, but what an audience really wants is to be carried away by the emotion between the two of you. In other words, we must feel your desire for each other.” Both Ryan and I stared hard at the floor, avoiding each other’s eyes. Adrie