Prodigal Blues

"Then why in the hell didn't he just tell me where he was?"

"He's testing you again.  Maybe he wants to see how much you're willing to go through to find him."

"Sounds like something he'd do, all right."

"So?"  Tanya stood there, arms crossed over her chest—a really great and sexy chest that I hadn't groped or ogled in over a week—drumming her fingers on her forearm.

I sighed.  "Did I ever tell you how much I hate traveling?  I mean really, truly, sincerely loathe it?"

"You might have mentioned it once or twice over the years, yes."

I stood.  "Don't put us next to the wing, whatever you do.  I'll keep flashing back to the Twilight Zone with William Shatner and the gremlin."

"I like sitting next to the wing."

"That's because you're an evil woman and know how much it freaks me out."

She took my hand, squeezed it.  "I love you."

"You'd damn well better."

Fourteen-and-a-half hours later,  a little before six p.m., just as the Georgia sun was casting a twilight clay over the red clay soil of that great and beautiful Southern state, Tanya and I were driving a rented car down the longest side road I'd ever encountered.  Trees stood tall and thick-leaved on either side of the road, creating a canopy.  Getting this far, we'd passed three fields overrun with kudzu, which I had never seen before.  It looked like a massive, violent knot of human tendon to me.  Which is to say I wasn't thrilled, where Tanya kept wishing aloud that we had a camera so she could take lots of pictures.

The road rose up, turning, and finally leveled out about twenty yards from a massive chain link fence with rolls of barbed wire ru

So they'd simply run through it with the bus.  I could almost hear Arnold and Thomas and Rebecca and Denise encouraging Christopher to floor it and break it down.  Christopher probably told them all to shut up, he'd do what he wanted, and then rammed through it anyway, much to their cheers.

It was almost enough to make me smile.

I killed the engine and sat there, staring at the house—a near-monstrous gabled number that looked like something out of a Daphne Du Maurier novel.  I could almost see Mrs. Danvers snarling down from one of the windows as Maxim de Winter was arriving with his new wife, whom Danvers would forever refer to as "…the second Mrs. De Winter."

"Okay," said Tanya, "here's the big question:  do you want me to come with you?"

"No.  Absolutely not.  The idea of you being even this close to that… place makes me sick."

"It's just a house, Mark."

"Right, and Auschwitz is just a bunch of old bunkhouses with a primitive form of central heating, got'cha."  I leaned forward and peered out.  "I don't see the motorcycle."

"He might have parked it in the back of the house.  If he's hiding out here, that'd be the thing to do."

"Been on the run a lot, have you?  Keeping one step ahead of The Man?  You been hiding copies of Abby Hoffman's Steal This Book from me?  Not good for The Movement, baby, not cool, un-groovy."

"Are you finished?"

"I'm scared to death, Tanya.  I don't want to go in there, I don't want to see what it looks like.  Every smell's go

"So do I."

I kissed her cheek.  "I'm sorry, I'm stalling."

"Yes, you are.  And if there's as much security in there and he said, then I'm guessing that Christopher already knows we're here."  She pointed toward a security camera in one of the trees to our left.  "Looks like the red light's on to me."

I looked up at the camera, mouthed "All in favor," then raised my hand.

"Go and get him, Mark."

"Here," I handed her the keys.  "You might want to start it up and run the air conditioner if it gets too hot."

"If?" said Tanya, taking the keys.  "The temperature's risen twenty degrees in the last five minutes just from all the hot air you've been blowing."

"You make me feel so manly."

"I will give you fifteen minutes, my love, to convince him to come out here and go home with us.  If you're not out in fifteen minutes, tell him that I will be coming in for the both of you, and that nobody wants that.  Go.  Shoo.  Fetch."

"Woof, woof."  I climbed from the car and began walking toward the front porch.  As I neared the house, I could see a section of Grendel's massive garden off to the right; it covered about half the ground to the side of the house and extended all the way around to the back.  I imagined the kids out here most of the day, tending to his tomatoes, his peas, his onions, all the while knowing what waited for them later that evening, any evening, every evening.

The front porch was wide and spacious, decorated with potted plants and white wicker lawn furniture; it looked like the type of setting Eudora Welty often employed; two ancient Southern ladies, sitting on their porch at twilight, sipping extra-sweet iced tea as they watched the sun go down and told each other all about their day and their plans for the coming week, when the grandchildren were supposed to visit.  It looked cool and safe, the front porch of home from a Frank Capra film.

I opened the screen door and knocked on the heavy oak door behind it.  There was a wide stained glass window in the center of the door, depicting a scene of a bird with a flower in its beak flying over a church steeple with a ringing bell; beneath this scene was the word Welcome.

I knocked louder, called Christopher's name several times, then pounded the door with the side of my fist.

"Fuck this," I said, and picked up one of the potted plants, readying to smash the window; then I asked:  What would you do, Dad?

I'd check to make sure the door was locked before I went all ape-shit.

Good idea.  I set down the plant and checked the door.

It was unlocked, and swung open noiselessly.  Grendel must have had them oil the hinges every day.

I took a deep breath, held it, and stepped over the threshold.  I did not close the door behind me.

The place was an antique dealer's Nirvana; from the wing-backed chairs to the little end tables to the china cabinets and the china inside them, there wasn't one piece of furniture within sight that probably didn't cost less than two-weeks' salary for most people.  Even the area rug on which I was standing probably carried a four-figure asking price; homemade quilts of exquisite craftsmanship hung on the walls; an old Victrola in mint condition was placed just inside the entrance to the living room.  The only thing modern in the entire downstairs was the massive 62-inch digital television in the corner of the living room.

And then there were the jars.

Dozens, hundreds of specimen jars lined the bottoms of the walls all around me, and continued on up the steps to the upstairs; they lined the floor of the kitchen, the pantry, the bathroom—even the back porch.  The lids had been removed and the stench of alcohol and formaldehyde hung in the air, watering my eyes.

I glanced too long at a few of the jars and saw what floated within them—a child's hand, a pair of testicles, a few eyes, something that might have once been a small girl's vagina—then doubled over and dry-heaved.  When I could stand again and pull in my breath without gagging, I called Christopher's name twice as loudly as before, and was answered only by the muffled echo of my own voice.