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He wishes there was something else he could write, some kind of code to let the police know he’s i
“There’s no emotion in here,” Hans says.
“It’s the best I can do.”
Hans nods. He puts down the note. “Here’s what I want you to do for me. I want you to focus, really focus on what I’m going to do to Eva if you try anything other than what we’ve spoken about. You understand me?”
“I understand you.”
“Put your palms flat on the desk,” Hans says.
Jerry does as he’s asked. He knows where this is going. He is, after all, the master of co
Hans moves around behind him, coming to a stop behind the chair.
“Keep your left hand on the desk,” he says, “and bring your right hand up to your head. Pretend your fingers are a gun and you’re going to shoot yourself.”
Jerry does as he’s asked. He brings his right hand up, turns his fingers into a barrel and points them against his skull. His hands are shaking. He’s thinking he should have gone for the knife. Should have done something. With everything he’s lost, all those times he thought about killing himself, he’s surprised at how afraid he is to die. Perhaps, if the circumstances were different—
But they’re not different, Henry says.
And final words of advice?
You’re on your own here, buddy.
“You try messing with me and this will go very badly for both you and Eva.”
“I know.”
Hans puts the gun into Jerry’s hand, and at the same time jams the barrel into the side of Jerry’s head. He has both hands wrapped around Jerry’s hand, forcing him to maintain the aim. He closes his eyes. He can feel his finger being forced into the trigger guard. He’s doing the right thing. For Eva. But before he can do anything else, the wireless doorbell starts ringing.
“Somebody is here,” Jerry says, searching again for a way out of this. “If there are others inside sleeping they’re going to wake up. You can’t get away with it.”
“Shut up,” Hans says, and he takes the gun out of Jerry’s hand but keeps it pointing at him.
The doorbell keeps ringing.
“It’s probably the police,” Jerry says. “Somebody saw us break in. Maybe the owners heard us.”
The ringing stops. There is silence for ten seconds. Then there is tapping at the office window.
“You shoot me now,” Jerry says, “and it only makes things worse for you.”
“Shut up,” Hans says, then he moves over to the curtain. There is more tapping, which is then followed by more silence. Hans peers around the corner of the curtain, careful to keep the gun pointing in Jerry’s direction. “It’s your nosy neighbor,” he says. “She’s got a flashlight and that bloody hockey stick she had earlier. Okay, she’s leaving. Wait . . . she’s moving to the back of the house.”
“She’s going to come inside, and I bet she’s called the police. You should go.”
“She won’t be coming inside.”
“I left the key in the back door. She might.”
Hans moves back behind the chair. He points the gun at the door. They wait.
“Don’t shoot her,” Jerry says.
“What do you care? You hated her anyway.”
“Please.”
“Don’t worry, as soon as I’m done you can add a PS, I just shot the neighbor to the bottom of your confession.”
The handle on the office door starts to turn. The door opens, and there she is. Mrs. Smith, standing in the doorway wielding the hockey stick. She takes two steps forward, and Jerry has no idea what kind of scenario she was expecting to walk in on, but it certainly couldn’t have been this one. To her credit, it only takes her a second to sum up the situation.
“Oh,” she says, and she must really like the sound of it because she says it again. Any other person would be caught between fleeing and ru
Hans pulls the trigger.
The gunshot is instant. It’s loud, a booming in the room that makes Jerry’s ears ring so painfully that instinct takes over and he puts both palms over his ears. Mrs. Smith doesn’t do that. Instead she takes two steps forward as if refusing to believe she’s been shot before coming to a stop. She looks down at her body where there is no sign at all of any damage, as if the bullet has gone through without harming her, or perhaps it completely missed. But then blood appears just below her chest. She drops to her knees, her face scrunches up into a tight ball, and she uses the hockey stick to prop herself up. She tries to get back onto her feet.
“How dare you,” she says.
Hans pulls the trigger again.
And the gun goes click.
“What the fuck?” Hans says, and Jerry knows exactly what’s happened, that when he kept spi
He throws his elbow back into Hans, getting him in the base of his stomach, just as Hans pulls the trigger. The shot is wide and hits the wall. Jerry turns in the chair and now the fight is on, and this is the way it should be done, he thinks, a fighting chance, and isn’t that the best way to end things? A good old-fashioned fistfight to the death? It would be, except for the fact fighting is a Hans thing to do, and therefore he knows how to do it. Then there’s the slight fact that Hans still has the gun. A gun he now turns towards Jerry. There is another explosion of sound, and suddenly there’s a burning in his stomach and he feels like his kidneys are on fire. The room darkens as his legs weaken. He’s able to get his hands onto Hans’s hand and push the gun so it’s pointing away. One bullet for his wife a year ago, one into Mrs. Smith, one into the wall, one into his stomach. That leaves two.
The knife, Henry says. Do it. For the love of God, stop stalling! It’s on the desk. He can see it, but he can’t reach it. Hans is turning the gun back towards him. It’s happening in slow motion. It’s pointing at the wall, at the chair, at Jerry’s shoulder, then at his chest, and as the gun gets into position the expression on Hans’s face changes too, first one of anger, then frustration, then he smiles. A big Fuck you smile. An I win smile. “Eva is next,” Hans says.
The hockey stick, one end still being held tightly by Mrs. Smith, swings through the air and hits Hans in the forearm, not enough power to break bone, Jerry thinks, but enough to make the gun hit the floor. Hans reaches for it, and Jerry goes for the knife. He has a vision of knocking it off the desk, of it skidding over the floor, but no, his hand wraps tight around the handle. He doesn’t hesitate. He swings it towards the man who killed his wife. He swings it as hard as he can, swings it for Sandra, for the florist, he swings it for Suzan with a z, he swings it for Eva, for everybody this man has hurt, for all of those that have had their lives ruined by their own Captain A. Most of all he swings it for himself. He conjures up all the anger he has and swings it as hard as he can.