Filth

I have to admit it, leaving Australia was a mistake. Bruce and I were at our happiest there. It was just that we went out to be with my mum and when my dad died she wanted to come back. There seemed no point in staying over there because Stacey was just a baby and she hadn’t started school. I know that I was selfish and that I didn’t really think of Bruce’s career. He was doing so well in the Sydney police. I think it’s diabolical that he had to return to Scotland on a lower grade than the one he was on in Australia.

I’m looking forward to seeing Bruce again, so we’ll be back together as a family; me, Bruce and our little girl Stacey. She has to accept the wrong she’s done and the hurt she’s caused everyone with her silly little lies. I often feel guilty, I feel that I should have taught her better, taught her the difference between right and wrong. She’s a good girl really though and it’s important for her to know that Bruce and I forgive her.

All families go through these kind of traumas and it’s important not to make more of these things than is necessary. It’s a complicated world enough to grow up in these days.

I am back in the bar again. Two men are looking at me. One says something that I don’t catch, but the hostility is unmistakable.

Why is it that a woman ca

You want me but you can’t have me.

Robertson’s my name.

I took the name of my man.

I am his.

If he was here now, he’d silence you, your leering, sneering faces. You would never be able to stand up to my Bruce. You’re not men.

Private Lessons

Worms. I’m not happy. I’ve been reading more about them at the library. There’s a tidy bird works there as well. When I get bored looking at the books, I look at her. I’ve been here most of the morning, after another sleepless night. But it’s soon time to relocate to the office, as Saturday means big-time OT. Predictably, it’s mobbed out. Le

It’s great to be cruising around in the motor. I’m well wrapped up and the roads are clearer. Le

– Dressed for the weather, eh Ray, I snigger.

– Fuckin plain-clathes allowance is rank, he grumbles.

Moaning cunt. If he didnae spend aw his money oan designer labels, he might make the allowance run tae some practical gear. Thinks that the taxpayer’s nowt better tae dae than tae fund that fucker tae prance about on an imaginary catwalk while he pretends that he’s polis.

As our trip progresses, it becomes abundantly clear that Le

We kid you not.

– Maybe call in at the Fish Factory, eh Ray?

– Okay, Le

I turn off Junction Street into Ferry Road. – Shirley, we muse, – ma sister-in-law. Mind the time we both rode her?

– Aye, says Le

Mr Top Shagger Le

The Fish Factory is our name for a Leith brothel which operates as a sauna, or is it a Leith sauna which operates as a brothel? No matter. Auld Maisie, the most experienced madam in the city is in, and the kettle’s oan.

We pit the squeeze oan Maisie that often the ex-hoor can hardly be chuffed tae see us, but a good hoor (and Maisie was one of the best) is always a superb actress so we get the red carpet treatment. That’s the beauty aboot being polis: it doesnae really matter whether or not everybody hates you, as long as they’re civil tae your face and can put up a good front. You can only live in the world you ken. The rest is just wishful thinking or paranoia. – Bruce darlin, Maisie states (correctly), wi a wee peck on the cheek for yours truly.

– So Maisie. How goes it? I enquire, flopping back on to the couch and putting my arms around the back of my head. I get a whiff from my armpits and almost lower them in panic. Fuck it. Let the cunts smell Bruce Robertson. Maisie doesnae register. A hoor must learn to live with unpleasant smells. She’s kicking oan now Maisie, but she’s still a looker; in a heavy, print-dress matronly sort ay wey.

– No bad Bruce, no bad. We’ve a new lassie sterted; a wee lassie fae Aberdeen. Ye want tae check her oot?

– Later maybe Maisie, I smile, with a broad wink.

She looks up at Le

Le

I catch this and turn to him. – Tell ye what Ray, Maisie here, she’d teach ye things thit yir ma couldnae. Forgotten mair thin you’re ever likely tae learn. Ah keep tryin tae entice her back oot ay retirement, but she’s havin nane ay it.

Maisie’s laughing and shaking her heid as Ray continues to look uncomfortable. I lean forward and pull out a pen from my top pocket and start tapping with it on the glass-topped table. – Even for a fresh young piece ay meat like Detective Sergeant Raymond Le

She gives Ray, who now seems in excruciating pain, a quick once over. – Sorry sweethert, ah jist dae it fir love now, no fir money. Ah leave that tae the youngsters. Ah’m a one-man wimmin these days.

– Ray here’s gittin himself a bit ay a reputation oan the force as a stud, I smile, puckering my lips and poking the pen languidly in and out of the ball I’ve made of my fist.

– Aw aye? Maisie leers.

That puts our Mister Le

Maisie kens that she might have to do business with the up and coming boys on the force like Ray Le

Of course I’m well wide for this game and I’m fucked if that spastic Le

– As ah say Bruce, those days are over for me, but if they wernae, wi this fine lookin laddie here, well, it’d be mixin business wi pleasure, ah kin tell ye. She licks her lips at Le

Aye Le

– Oh yes . . . by reputation alone though Maisie. Ah’m no that auld!

– Ah didnae mean it like that, yir jist a laddie bichrist, she smiles with those cat’s-erse lips, the moisture having been sucked from those just as sure as they’ve sucked out the semen of millions of punters from here and overseas. – Naw I’m talking aboot Provost . . . well, it wid be improper tae mention names. Bit this Provost was well known amongst the local girls for wanting tae conduct his liaisons wearing the ceremonial robes and chains of the City of Edinburgh.