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Silence. I felt the burn in my throat and started to walk out of his apartment when I noticed Trip pacing impatiently. I grabbed his leash and took him for a quick walk, in which he quickly relieved himself. It was completely unlike Jayden to neglect Trip. I let Trip back inside the apartment then made my way home.
I made it through half a day before breaking down and calling him. “Hey,” he greeted in that same, lifeless tone.
“Are you feeling better?”
“No, I’m under the blanket. I’ll call you in a few days when I’m feeling better. It’s probably a bug.”
“You’re hungover, Jayden. I’m not stupid,” I barked.
“So I’ll be hungover for a few days. I’ll call you then,” he shouted back.
“Really, Jayden, this is how you want to play it?” My voice shook with emotion as it always did when it came to him.
“I’ll call you.” He hung up as I snapped back in my chair in surprise.
Pain seared through my chest as I looked around me, wondering if anyone else felt what I was feeling. Marcy, being the angel she was, could sense something wrong and kept me busy the rest of the day, giving me mindless chores and keeping the small talk to a minimum. I crawled into bed that night after doing more pool laps than I had ever done. Okay, so the asshole he’d warned me about had arrived. And I had to say I wasn’t happy to meet him, but I loved him and so I refused to let the asshole win. He didn’t have split personality disorder; he was ADHD. So, I texted the asshole who was still Jayden.
Me: I love you.
I thought of the last three months of my life and how it had changed because of him. I thought of his friendship and how I now depended on it. I thought of the way he looked at me, the way he touched me. I let one pitiful tear fall and quickly wiped it away. Though the evidence of the last day told me otherwise, I knew that man loved me. He’d made it his mission to prove it to me, and though we seemed fragile now, I knew we were as close as two people could be.
It didn’t excuse his behavior, but I’d made him a promise and I intended to keep it. When he came back to me, I’d welcome him with open arms.
Opening my laptop, I typed in ADHD. My screen filled with information as my phone rang. I tossed my laptop aside, hunting my phone out of my purse.
“Hello?”
“Hilary?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“Hello, sweetheart. This is Mallory, Jayden’s mother.”
“Oh, hello! Wow, I’ve been wondering when I would get the chance to talk to you.”
“I had to strong arm my son for your phone number, but I managed,” she said, then laughed softly. “I spoke to him last week and told him I would be inviting you over for a barbeque this Saturday.” Uncertain of where we stood, I agreed to the invitation, not wanting to tell her I wasn’t sure if her son would be talking to me then.
“I’d love to come. What can I bring? And I have to mention one of the reasons I love Jayden is your chicken casserole.”
There was a small amount of silence on the line before she responded. “You love him?”
Embarrassed by my statement, but standing behind it, I answered, “Very much so. He’s a wonderful man.”
“That’s so great to hear, Hilary. He is so fond of you, as well. After I forced him into telling me about you, he wouldn’t shut up. Honestly, I’ve never heard him so smitten. I’m excited to meet you.”
“We’ll be there,” I said nervously.
“You can bring a dessert if you’d like, but we really don’t need anything. His Uncle Stephen will be there as well. He’s looking forward to meeting you, too. If Jayden is with you, can I speak with him briefly?”
FUCK. SHIT. PISS. HELL. DAMN.
“Actually, I’m at home. He isn’t feeling well. Under the blanket, he said.”
“He said under the blanket?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her voice was alarmed when she said, “Have you seen him today?”
“This morning. He was sleeping.” Now who’s lying to the parents?
“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” she said, her voice now uneven.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, becoming more nervous.
“No, sweetheart, it’s fine. I’m...just...He’s my only brat.”
I laughed at that. “Honestly, I think he’s hungover, but please don’t tell him I told you if you get in touch with him.”
“Of course I won’t. I’m going to run, but I look forward to meeting you Saturday.”
“Me, too. Goodbye.”
Great, within a two minute phone call I had confessed my love regarding her son, lied to her, and then ratted him out.
Way to go, Hil!
Something in the way she hesitated didn’t sit well with me. I wanted to go to him, but decided to text instead.
Me: Let me know you’re alive or I’m coming over to have a long and torturous conversation about our relationship. You’ve got two minutes to answer me.
A minute later, I got a reply.
Jayden: I love you too.
Tears burst from my eyes as I sighed in relief.
Me: I miss you.
Jayden: I’ll call you.
Me: Let me be there for you. I can handle it.
He didn’t reply. I resigned myself to give him the space he asked for. I knew it was so he could avoid showing me the ugly side of him.
In bed, I wrapped myself in my blanket, dipping pretzels in peanut butter and watching The Brady Bunch until sleep claimed me.
Two days later, I still had not received a phone call. I’d stopped texting him the day before. The understanding girlfriend was now bitterly pissed. He’d replied to two of my texts, but still insisted he’d call me later. Deciding that when he did come around we were going to have a serious talk, I left him alone. My worry for my relationship was still brewing in the background as my pride and self-respect took the forefront. I wasn’t going to beg to see him. It was beneath me. But the fact that he didn’t want me around hurt the most.
I busied myself with work and spent my nights cooking, something I’d missed with all my time with Jayden. I would make it a point to let him know I wanted to do it more often. I walked into my apartment, determined to make the best mushroom risotto in the history of the world, followed by a homemade tiramisu and chocolate wine. I heard music coming out of the bathroom and greeted Gerri.
“Hey, woman! I bought a ton of good food to make tonight. My asshole boyfriend still hasn’t called so it looks like I’ll be using my vibrator for the first time in almost four mon—” My sentence was cut short when I reached the kitchen. Still holding my grocery bags I slid halfway across the floor before I landed flat on my back. I blinked and then realized I was staring at the ceiling when the pain shot up through my hips and burst in a shockwave right above my ass. The burning from the wind being knocked out of me reminded me I was alive as I began to bitch at the pain. “Ow! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!” In one moment I saw ceiling and the next I saw Jay’s face pop into view.
“Oh my God, baby, are you okay? Fuck, I was trying to catch you before you walked in here!”
Mentally assessing the damage to my screaming body, and completely confused, I realized there was liquid pooling between my legs. “Am I bleeding?”
“No, it’s your wine.” He picked up the leaking bottle, setting it aside, as well as one of the grocery bags I was still hugging to me as he hovered over me. I tried to get up, but he stopped me.
“Stay still. Did you hit your head?” I took in his violet-blue eyes looking down at me, his perfect full lips, the sweet divot in his chin, and had to remind myself I was mad at him.
“No, I don’t think so.”