Defending Pacer

Logan smiles wide. “And that is what you tell your parents.”

I message Pacer back.

CHELSEA: Wish me luck with my folks. I’ll call later.

PACER: If you need me to remind you why we are worth the fight I can meet you at your house later? No keys necessary.

CHELSEA: I don’t need much reminding. My vagina is on fire every time I sit.

PACER: I’m telling you it’s the friction from the leather. I need to ease up on the gloves.

CHELSEA: Do not speak of such things ever again!

PACER: Will you stop forcing me to fall in love with you, honeybee? xx

With that message, I hold my phone to my chest and breathe in the feeling. Those words. They hit me right where I need it. What am I meant to write back now?

CHELSEA: Now you’ve done it! My place. Midnight!

I’m smiling so hard. I decide that I want to see his face, feel his arms and bury myself into his chest. Against all the odds stacked against us. I have fallen in love him—and there’s nothing that my parents or anyone can say that will stop it now. Love just won’t turn off like that.

***

Mum’s voice is the first thing I hear when I open the front door of Dolorous. Logan and I walk in together.

“John, there is just no point. She is a thirty-year-old woman. She will do what she wants, when she wants. So your only choices are to support her and be in her life or go against her, and lose her.”

My timing is uncomfortably perfect.

“She might be thirty, but she’s had a sheltered life. I’ve heard things about that boy. Not good things, either,” Dad angrily replies.

Dad’s words make me wonder if I do know everything there is to know about Pacer. He tells me I do, but I still feel like there is more.

“I’m sure she knows more about him than you do, John.” Thanks, Mum. “She is his defence barrister, after all.”

Double serve from Mum. I guess I had better break this up. I am the cause of it, after all.

With my head high, ready to take on the hornet’s nest, I walk in to meet Mum and Dad in the kitchen. Mum is at her favourite spot—the chef’s table, and Dad’s leaning against the kitchen bench, still in his te

“Please. Don’t stop on account of me being here.”

Mum’s mouth opens in surprise but Dad folds his arms in defiance when I walk in on them.

I have to admit I’ve never really been this brazen with them before. But this is one of those moments where I need to prove to them that yes, I am a woman. I’ve been independent from a young age, but I have remained too close to my parents for my own good. How many other women my age go their parents’ house every weekend? Admittedly, it has been more about escaping to Dolorous than it has been about visiting my parents. But they’re right; I’ve lived a sheltered life because I sheltered myself from it all.

Taking a seat across from Mum, I clear my throat. “Ed, please make me one of your special mixes.”

I look between both of my parents. “I understand and agree with both of you. But Dad, you have to respect the fact that I have been a defence barrister for almost ten years, so I’m not completely naive to the world.”

He grumbles and Mum frowns. “She’s right, John. Darling, just make sure you’re being careful about how much you’re telling the media.”

What? “I don’t tell them anything. I give them legal statements, but that’s it.”

“They seem to know where you are all the time. Who’s tipping them off?” Mum sips on her gin.

Ed puts the glass of gin, garnished with a slice of cucumber, in front of me. I knock back well over half the glass within one gulp.

“That’s the thing. I think I’m about to uncover some high-level corruption. But before you say anything, Dad …” I see him itching to speak. “I want to uncover it all before I officially a

Dad shakes his head. “And this Fratelli. Is he just part of this investigation of yours?”

“No, Dad. I’m not fucking him for information, if that’s what you’re asking.” I down the rest of the drink and get up.

“Chelsea, I’m sure that’s not what your father meant. And please try not to swear, dear, it’s unbecoming.” Mum’s attempt to stop me fails miserably.

The pair of them should feel ashamed of themselves. This isn’t how they should react —they should be a little more supportive of my decisions. They don’t want to listen to a thing I say, so I’m not going to waste my breath. They don’t want to support me, and as devastating as that is, I’m better off leaving now while I still have a heart. I feel the tears, but don’t want to show them how they’ve made me feel. We don’t do crying in this family so I resolve to remain as stoic as possible until I get out of the place.

“I love you, Mum, but if you guys can’t try to understand that I might actually be in love with Pacer, then there’s no point in staying.” I kiss Mum’s cheek before walking out.

“Chelsea Elizabeth Blythe Ta

I feel the pressure of tears against my eyes. A tear rolls down my cheek, capturing the cold of the night where it runs on my skin. I walk down the driveway of Dolorous as headlights hit the path in front of me. I turn to find Logan’s boxy Mercedes four-wheel drive coming after me. Stepping aside, I wait for her to pull up.

“That was brutal.” He leans out of the open window.

“I just want to go home,” I say through streaming tears.

He nods sympathetically, and I walk around the other side and get in the car.

“I get it, you know,” he says as we drive through the city. “You can’t choose who you fall in love with.”

I smile. “I know you get it.” I hold his hand and squeeze it.

I try to remember the moment Logan a

***

I feel the bed sink down next to me, and groggily smile. I must’ve fallen asleep waiting for Pacer to arrive.

“Hi.” I roll over to Pacer’s waiting arms.

He holds me tight. It feels so good to be in his arms again. “Hey. You sounded upset on the phone. I take it your parents weren’t okay with us, like you’d hoped?” I shake my head in reply. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. My ma really wanted me to stay for di

Just when my parents reject my right to fall in love with whom I want, Pacer’s Mum opens up to the idea with loving arms. This couldn’t feel any worse, could it?

“I think I might take a few days off work. I really need a break from the prying eyes of the city, my co-workers included. One of the senior partners confronted me when I was photocopying.” Pacer’s eyes narrow. I almost forgot about his temper. “It was nothing I couldn’t handle. He just told me he thought I was more professional than being romantically involved with a known criminal.”

“That’s workplace harassment! You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

I love how he wants to protect me, but I don’t need it. “Don’t worry. I reminded him of his affair with his secretary, and told him he had better keep his opinion to himself.” I smile proudly.