Breaking Stars

Qui

“If I wanted to be alone, I wouldn’t be here,” I responded with mock snarkiness, and she snarled back at me.

“Don’t try to sass me. It doesn’t work on you.” Her upper lip curled as she shook her head, and I held back a grin.

“Where’s Ryson?” I asked, assuming her live-in boyfriend had to be around here somewhere.

Her eyes lit up. “He’s in the office on a conference call. The boy never stops working, I swear. He has so many things he wants to do, Paige. It’s so hot.”

Qui

Ryson had a rough past, though, and Qui

“He wants to start directing, doesn’t he?” I asked.

She waved her hand to shut me up. “Among other things. He’s written a couple of movie scripts, and he has an idea for a reality show. I don’t know how he has the time to do everything he does, but he’s a maniac.” She laughed. “Anyway, let’s go grab some food and sit out back by the pool.”

I sucked in a deep breath, wishing it would help the ache in my heart. “Sounds good.”

We walked back down the hallway and into the kitchen where Qui

“Okay, I grabbed us some ice cream, and I made brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough.”

“You made brownies and cookies already?” I asked in disbelief.

“You know how I am in the kitchen!” she said, glaring at me.

Qui

She swatted my shoulder. “Fine! You know how I am with baking.”

“A master,” I said with a slight grin.

Qui

She shrugged. “I figured ice cream, cookie dough, and brownies were good breakup food.”

I nodded instead of responding. My brain stuck on the word breakup and as if on cue, the video started replaying in my mind’s eye.

Qui

Shaking my head, I said, “No, you’re not. It’s the truth. I just…it’s not that I can’t believe we’ve broken up. I just can’t believe the way it’s happened.”

“He’s a loser. And a disgusting pig. He doesn’t deserve you, obviously. But mostly, you don’t deserve any of this.”

“I’m too shocked, stu

“We’ll get there together. I’ll put all this together, and you get outside and get some vitamin D. Drinks are in the outdoor fridge,” she instructed with a nod of her head, and I realized my staying inside was not up for discussion.

After grabbing a lemon water and a diet soda, I plopped down on one of her oversized lounge chairs next to the pool. The sun immediately started soaking into my pores as I tipped my head back and sucked in a long cleansing breath. Closing my eyes, I silently thanked God for the eighty-degree warmth. It didn’t seem right to feel so broken during such a beautiful day, as if my mood and the weather were a complete contradiction. I decided that if the sun had the ability to heal my broken heart, I wished it would hurry up and do it already.

Qui

I grabbed some crackers and cheese, and made a show of nibbling at them. My appetite had disappeared somewhere between the time the news broke and Colin’s pathetic attempts at reaching out to me.

“Has he tried to call you?”

I nodded, wishing we could avoid all things Colin, but knowing the reality of that would never happen. Sometimes I wished my life had a fast-forward button and I could skip ahead to the time when this was all in my past. But life didn’t work that way.

“You didn’t answer?”

I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head again.

“You’re my hero,” she practically sang in response. “Remind me to take lessons from you if Ryson ever breaks my heart. I don’t think I could stop myself from answering. That’s some serious willpower.”

I pushed up, folding my legs in a yoga pose as I turned to face her. Searching for the right words, I said nothing as the tears started to fall.

Qui

I sniffed. “Me too. I feel so stupid.”

“He should feel stupid,” she snapped.

I leaned my head against her shoulder. “He made me look stupid, Qui

“No.” She leaned away from me and grabbed my shoulders to square them. “He made a fool of himself. He made himself look like a complete douche bag asshole. He didn’t make you look like anything.”

My pride longed to believe her. But it wouldn’t. Or couldn’t. I knew in my heart that no matter what Colin had done, or how badly it looked, he had included me in his actions. No one would ever think about his indiscretion without attaching my name to it. I didn’t want to be associated with this, and I hated the way it made my stomach ache.

“He made me look like a fool, Qui

“No, you’re not.” Qui

“If he’s so stupid, what does that make me?”

“Damn it, Paige! That’s what I’m trying to get through that skull of yours. He is not you. His actions do not define you. They define him. HIM!” she shouted at me, her frustration rolling from her in waves. “They make statements about his character, not yours. How you handle yourself and how you react to all of this shit will speak volumes about you.”

The glass door behind us slid open and Ryson called out across the yard as he walked toward us. “My two favorite ladies.”

“I’m sorry,” Qui

I sucked in a quick breath and then slowly released it. Qui