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After our meal, I declined dessert and Kit paid the bill, even though I insisted on paying my share. He wouldn’t have it. He was a gentleman to the core. I was sure he’d find the girl he deserved, but as we approached the car, I quickly realized that girl wouldn’t be me.
We drove back to my apartment in comfortable silence, and when Kit took my hand, I didn’t object. We entered the lobby and walked down the hall to my apartment. When my eyes locked on the person standing outside of my apartment door, his hand raised to knock, my stomach sank.
Qui
He walked down the hall to meet us, and I quickly dropped Kit’s hand. Qui
I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out.
Kit cut in with, “I’m Kit. And you are?”
Qui
Kit sounded surprised. “Mia, is this true?”
“No,” I said, but my voice shook. “It’s not true.” I turned to Qui
No one spoke for a while.
Kit touched my arm, and I could see Qui
That was when Qui
The door closed behind him, leaving me to stare in shock at his retreating back. My chest ached and I absently rubbed at the burn.
The moment he left, a gaping hole formed in the place my heart used to be.
Something told me I would never be the same.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Qui
I needed to hit something, feel the pain radiate through my knuckles. Feel something.
Seeing Mia holding hands with another man, smiling after a date together, didn’t bode well. I knew the time would come, when she decided she deserved more, but I didn’t expect it so soon.
Walking into my kitchen, I opened the cabinet, pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels, and took a long pull from the bottle. My eyes shut tightly and I rubbed at my chest. I’d never felt like this before. I didn’t get jealous over women. Women got jealous over me. What the fuck was wrong with me?
My own words haunted me. “Every trick in bed she knows because of me, buddy. Taught her myself. You’re welcome.”
I groaned, crushing the heel of my palms into my eyes. I was disgusted with myself, with the way I talked to her. I’d never had such a violent reaction to a woman before. It felt as though my insides were twisting into knots.
God, I was an asshole. Why the fuck did I say that? She would never forgive me. I wouldn’t forgive me.
I brought the bottle to my lips and, taking another swig, coughed at the heat streaking down my throat. I turned, put my back against the wall, and slid down to the cold, tiled floor. I stared into the wall for a long while.
I was pretty sure I had just ruined whatever chance I might’ve had with the only woman I ever loved.
My mind worked a mile a minute. I wasn’t sure how, but I was going to fix this. I had to. Mia was my everything, and I couldn’t live without her.
I would fix this.
I would.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mia
Mom talked about how the nice man who owned the local grocery store had a heart attack the week before, leaving his children to run it for him. They were nice kids, she said, kids who cared about their parents.
It was a stab at Harry and me, I was sure. And when Harry’s eyes met mine, he rolled them hard. Still, it wasn’t enough to make me laugh. Nothing could’ve made me laugh. I was still sore from the previous night, at Qui
Mom wasn’t happy we only came to visit her once a week. “See,” she uttered, picking at the salad by her lasagna, “those kids know they only have so long with their parents. They know they have a duty to them,” she said in way of a guilt trip.
My heart started to pound. Mom didn’t even know what she was getting herself into.
“To go on leave from their own jobs and take care of the family business...those kids must really love their parents.”
Harry cut in. “We love you, Mom.” He gri
Mom shrugged then sighed. “You don’t even visit anymore. I guess my kids are just too busy for me.”
That was it. I stood so fast that my chair made a harsh whining noise, almost falling back. “Thanks for di
“Mia,” she called out, stu
I walked a short distance then turned, glaring at my mom. “Fuck it.”
She gasped. “Mia! What has gotten into you?”
I took a calming breath then started, “You know why those kids like their parents, Ma?” I uttered pointedly, “Because they’re likable.” She blinked at me. I went on, “If I had a parent like that, chances are I’d be more likely to hang around. But unfortunately for Harry and me, you are what we are stuck with.”
Harry’s mouth gaped.
I was on a role and nothing could stop me. I looked at her with sadness in my eyes. “Something tells me that Mr. Sullivan wouldn’t make his children feel like failures for their accomplishments.” I barked out a laugh. “Harry works in an office he hates. And he did it, because you told him working in a bar was unacceptable, Ma. You know what you told him the week after starting the job you wanted him to have?” I looked at my brother. “You told him the hours were too long and he’d never find a girlfriend that way.” I smiled at him, although it trembled. “He did something awesome, and it still wasn’t good enough.”
Mom watched me closely, her face pink.
“I went to college to get a fancy degree, and you know what I did when I came home with it?” I shook my head. “I gave it to you. I had the stupid diploma framed and gave it to you. You know why? Because you wanted it.” My voice cracked. “Well, I got it for you, Mom. And you know what I got in return?” My eyes filled with tears of frustration. “I got a lecture on how expensive college was and that I’d better make use of those skills to make my money’s worth.” A fat teardrop fell onto my cheek. “You never even told me you were proud of me. You didn’t come to my graduation. You never even said congratulations.”
My mother’s eyes filled with tears. Emotionally, I was done.
“With every achievement, you sabotage our happiness by bringing us down. You know what you’ve taught me?” I closed my eyes, ashamed of admitting this. “To aim low. Because we aren’t worth more.” Then I stood taller. “But you know what?” I looked to my brother, who had dipped his chin, hiding his face. “Harry is worth more.” I pointed to my chest. “I am worth more.” My lips quivered. “And sometimes, Ma,”—the bridge of my nose tingled—“you are a shitty mother.”