The Fear

Brooke stopped again. This time she stared at the table, as if reading some message in the pattern of stains and scratches on its surface.

‘There was something else, as well …’

‘What?’ Courtney asked when it looked like Brooke wasn’t going to carry on. And when she raised her head they could see that she was crying.

‘Something else I ain’t proud of.’

‘What?’ Courtney asked again. ‘We ain’t go

‘It was Ed.’

‘What about him?’

‘I didn’t want to see him again. I couldn’t stomach it. I wanted to get away from him. What they’d done to his face. Justin wanted to wait for him and the others, but I wouldn’t let him. Told him we could come back and find them later. Maybe I really thought we might come back. When it was calmer, when I could think straight. But right then the thought of Ed, of Ed’s face, upset me too much, made me feel sick. I didn’t want to ever have to look at him again. I was wrong in the head. It was all muddled up in there. All I wanted was to get away, leave all that behind, all that had happened, as if the fire would scrub it all out. I wanted to excape. And so we did. We drove on. Didn’t stop. It wasn’t easy. There was still hundreds of kids on this side of the river. They was pouring over the river across all the bridges, wandering in the road, wondering where to go, not knowing this part of town. Some stopping, looking for places to hole up, some moving on like us. It was wild – I was shouting at Justin, he was shouting at me … “Where shall we stop? Where do we go?” We needed to find somewhere safe where there wasn’t too many other kids. We knew there was safety in numbers, but we also knew that our food wouldn’t last long and we didn’t want to share it. You get too many people in one place, pretty soon there’s no food, no water. As I say, we was arguing like a married couple on Eastenders, and then Justin had a brainwave. I guess it was all down to you …’

Brooke put her hand on DogNut’s.

‘Living in the War Museum, the way you did, gave Justin the idea. He got it into his head that he wanted to live in a museum too!’ She spread her arms and laughed.

‘We didn’t hole up in the war museum because we was interested in history,’ DogNut scoffed. ‘We went there cos it had guns, weapons. What use are a load of stuffed animals and dinosaur fossils?’

‘It wasn’t the stuffed animals he was interested in,’ said Brooke. ‘Nor the dinosaurs. It’s the labs, the equipment, and all the other gear, next door, in the Science Museum. He knew there was technology in there, things we could use, inventions going back hundreds of years, things that didn’t all need electricity. Things we could use to start putting the world back together. The museum is big, man, but he figured it would be easy to secure. Places like this were made to keep people out, as they got so much valuable stuff in them. No other kids had thought to come here; we knew we’d have to break in. We was only a bunch of nerds and girls and little kids, though. All the fighters had stayed with Ed. Luckily we met up with some other kids on the street, a guy called Robbie and his gang. Justin persuaded them to help us. They’re all still with us.’

‘We met Robbie outside,’ said DogNut.

‘Yeah. He’s took over the fighting side of things, protecting the place, guarding us, dealing with the hunters. In those early days there was a lot more sickos around and we had some close moments. Some sickos tried to get in a few times. We killed lots of them. As I say, there’s still some down below.’

‘And other kids have joined you here?’ said DogNut.

‘Yeah, slowly. We’ve got a good thing going, with the gardens out front where we can grow things, and there’s all these other, like, courtyards in the buildings around us. We cook things in the kitchens, we collect water from the roofs and from storage tanks, and from the Serpentine.’

‘What’s the Serpentine?’ Courtney asked.

‘Is this, like, big lake in Hyde Park. Just north of here.’

‘Oh, yeah, I know. The Princess Diana fountain’s there.’

‘That’s right.’

‘It’s crap. My uncle took me to see it this one time, and then we went out in a boat on the lake. It was a big deal for him. Not me. It was well boring, man.’

Brooke laughed. ‘You don’t change, do you?’ she said. ‘Always moaning.’

Courtney felt a flush of anger. Why did Brooke have to keep saying that? She had changed. She had. She tried so hard not to complain all the time, specially when she was with DogNut, but now, being here with Brooke, she was changing back. Turning into her old grumpy self. Being who Brooke wanted her to be. After the joy of meeting her old friend the confusion had started to creep back. She hated the way DogNut looked at Brooke. It made her feel jealous and angry. There she was, pretty Brooke. Thin Brooke. And here she was, fat, grumpy Courtney.

‘Don’t have a go at her,’ said DogNut, smiling at Courtney. ‘She’s all right. She’s my right-hand man. She don’t moan like she used to. You better show her some respect, Miss Brooke.’

Brooke leant over and gave Courtney a big hug. ‘She ain’t yours, DogNut!’ she cried. ‘She’s my Courtney. I wouldn’t have her any other way, and now she’s back I ain’t never go

DogNut wasn’t sure he could take any more of this girlie behaviour. It was getting in the way of his plans for Brooke. If he couldn’t get her alone, he couldn’t work his magic on her.

He was about to say something when he heard his name being called out. He turned round and couldn’t believe how pleased he was to see Justin, king of the nerds.

25

Justin looked a lot older and bigger than when they’d last seen him, but he hadn’t lost his air of geekiness. He was wearing pyjamas and a dressing-gown and was blinking in the feeble light.

‘They told me you were here,’ he said, his voice sounding cracked, like it was in the middle of breaking. ‘I thought they were having me on.’

‘No, boss!’ said DogNut. ‘Is really us! We’ve come to show you how it’s done.’ He jumped up and offered Justin a high five, knowing it would embarrass him. Justin slapped his hand awkwardly.

‘How you doing, anyway, Mr Lorry-Driving Man?’ said DogNut. ‘You got your HGV licence yet?’

‘We don’t drive the lorry any more. We use it for different things now. My career as a lorry driver is sadly over.’ Justin stopped talking for a moment and smiled. ‘It’s good to see you again, DogNut,’ he finally went on. ‘Really good!’

DogNut introduced the rest of his crew and Justin shook hands all round in a very formal ma

‘You’ll have to tell us all about what you’ve been up to,’ he said. ‘Where you’ve been, how everyone is.’

‘Everyone’s cool, dude,’ said DogNut.

Justin yawned. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I was asleep. Tomorrow you’ll come to the Hall of Gods and tell the council all about what you’ve been up to.’

‘Hold up, blood,’ said DogNut, raising his hands. ‘Not so fast. What the hell’s the Hall of Gods?’

‘It’s where we hold all our meetings.’

‘I see I got a lot to learn. So I’ll meet the guys in charge tomorrow, yeah? In this Hall of Gods. Should be pretty damn awesome. Meeting gods and everything.’

‘Well …’

‘What’s up? You saying I ain’t go

‘I sort of am,’ said Justin, shrugging his shoulders dismissively.

‘You?’ DogNut looked amazed. He was trying hard not to laugh. ‘But you’re like the übernerd, Justin. You ain’t no god.’

‘I never claimed to be a god. But I am in charge.’

‘That is whack,’ said DogNut.

‘Sometimes brains are more important than muscles,’ said Justin. ‘I’ve sorted everything out for the kids here and they appreciate that. We don’t need fighters in charge – we have a council for that.’