Being Audrey Hepburn

Hey I’m the one,

I’m the one with the bird in the hand that you let get away,

One night,

Just one night,

That one night.

Everyone knew every single word to the song but me.

They were all singing along to a song that was about that night in the parking lot behind the diner when I ran away. And as Jake sang, I knew the real reason I fled. I thought I was going on an adventure to the Big Apple. I thought I was Being Audrey—and I was—but, more than that, I was afraid of Jake Berns, afraid of how he made me feel and afraid of how he felt about me.

He repeated the chorus one more time.

One night,

Just one night,

That one night.

He allowed the final chord of the bridge to ring out, and it was over. Jake exited offstage, never glancing back.

As soon as the crowd began to leave, I tried to run out. I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but Chase stopped me.

“You have to stay,” he said and handed me a handkerchief. I hadn’t realized I was crying.

“Why?” I said. “I can’t.”

“You’ve got to say hello to the guy,” he said. “Whatever you guys had, he put his heart out on the line.” Through my tears I nodded no, looking at Chase as if he were crazy. It was too much to ask.

I couldn’t handle it, but we stayed as the club goers poured out onto the street. I tried to pull myself together as best I could.

“Here he comes,” Chase said. We saw Jake, wearing one of his vintage fla

As I feared, the woman from Reilly’s, the one in the swag cowboy gear, appeared. She came ru

It was more than I could stand.

Even Chase stared in stu

I ran out of the club as quickly as I could and kept ru

54

The next morning, I slipped out of Tabitha’s house before anyone could see me. Zoya was up, but everyone else was snoring away. I hadn’t been able to sleep for all the obvious reasons.

Chase had been unbelievably cool about the Talkhouse, especially since I had all sorts of regrets and paranoid fears afterward. I was worried that Chase would be faced with the fact that I’m a fake from New Jersey. I’m not sure he had put that together or cared to.

He had given me a ride home in his equipment van and, to change the subject, pitched a video concept for my blog if I wanted to try it.

“You could be exceptional on camera, totally fierce,” he said. “It would be great for your blog and not bad for me, either.” I was too messed up to talk about it but promised I would consider it. He was going back to the city soon. He had hoped there’d be more social events to cover in the Hamptons, but he was finding it hard to get into most of them. He promised to check up on me before he went back to the city and gave me his number in case I needed it.

I called Courtney while walking into town. I didn’t think she’d even answer that early in the morning, but I needed to hear a familiar voice, even if it was just voice mail. I didn’t want to call Jess. There were too many things I hadn’t done for her show, and I felt guilty still hanging out in the Hamptons. I was surprised Courtney picked up. Her voice seemed totally different on the phone, totally upbeat.

“How are Mom and Nan getting along?” I asked.

“There have been a few big fights,” she said.

“Who’s wi

“Unclear. But Ryan finished summer school.” That alone was remarkable. “Nan says hi. You should call her,” Courtney said.

“I will,” I said, feeling guilty.

In town I found a coffee shop in one of the stores on Amagansett Square and tried to regain my focus. In the frenzy of last night, I hadn’t noticed a text I received from Jess.

“WE GOT THE GALLERY !! ☺”

I texted back. “For fashion’s night out ?! :) :)”

She responded a few minutes later. “Working on that…”

Thankfully I had something to think about besides Jake. I’d pla

If the gallery would give us Fashion’s Night Out, I’d have to get back to the city in three days at the latest. I posted my first tease.

Designer X Unmasked! Exclusive Pop Up Show near the High Line. Your presence required. Details to come!

Then another text from Jess popped up on my phone.

“R u ok?” That simple question gave me pause. Don’t ask why, but my gung ho spirit deserted me, and feelings from last night opened up like a trapdoor beneath me. What could I say?

I found myself pathetically googling Jake Berns and his band. Their Web site popped up. The press clippings revealed how far the Rockets had come over the summer. They’d been picked by WFUV’s Internet feed as a band to watch and were being mentioned as opening acts to all kinds of great bands. I knew the gigs probably didn’t pay much yet. I wondered if Jake still worked at the Hole. It was painful seeing him play for the first time in the Hamptons of all places.

There were a half dozen pictures of the band. I scoured them for any sign of Monica in the background or nearby. She was in two of them. Always wearing that swag country style. She certainly dressed as if she had some serious money.

It was hard to believe I had just arrived in the Hamptons a few days before. It was so fabulous and hopeful when I was sitting with Flo talking about click-throughs. Yesterday morning I could do anything, and now I felt worthless. Closing my eyes, I’d see Jake singing to me and, just a moment later, kissing her.

It was self-torture, but I downloaded “That One Night” from the iTunes store in the Indie Up and Coming section and played it over and over until I felt sick.

Walking back to Tabitha’s, I saw an East Hampton Town Police car pulling away. So I assumed the police were following up on the Talkhouse dispute. I wondered if it had hit the local newspapers and New York gossip blogs yet. Mocha, standing guard, nodded as I entered the house and headed toward Tabitha’s bedroom.

“You don’t want to go in there.” I heard someone say. I turned to see ZK.

I was so glad to see him that I threw myself into his arms, hugging him so tightly I almost knocked him down. I could tell he didn’t quite know what to do—the man who always knew how to handle everything.

“Oh I missed you,” I said.

“Has it been that long?” he said, smiling.

“I don’t know. It feels like forever.”

“Well I’ve come to whisk you away.”

“I’d like that,” I said.

“Where’s Tabitha? I need to talk to her first.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Robert’s in there. She called him.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t feel bad. There’s nothing you can do. Tabitha’s always been this way,” he said. “Robert’s here to pick up the pieces and get her going again.”

“I should have stopped her somehow.”

“She would have just punched you instead. Talk to her later, after she’s rested. In the meantime, I’m here to entertain you.”

“Really? What do you have in mind?”

“Let’s see, first I’ll have to get you something white.”

55

ZK became the antidote to how adrift I felt, not because he was so much more together than me, but because he felt the same way. After I grabbed a white te