Becoming His

Max’s hand slowly unravels from my hair and slides along my jaw, stopping at my chin where he gently clasps and turns my head so my eyes return to his. “You just what?”

“I don’t know. It scared me, Max. It really scared me. It still does … I mean, I’m nothing like her.”

“Why are you afraid?” he whispers.

“Because obviously you cared for her if you guys dated off and on for years; there was something bringing you back to her. And when I see her, all I see is everything that I’m not. I mean the dress, the eyelashes, the inflatable pool toys she calls her chest.” Max laughs and wraps the hand holding my chin back to my neck and brings his other hand up to cup my face as I stare into his sapphire eyes.

“I’ve never cared for anyone the way that I care for you. It scares me, like nightmare inducing scares me, how much you could hurt me,” I admit quietly.

“How do you not see it?” His thumb softly brushes my cheek as his eyes warm, turning a brilliant blue. “Ace, I know. I know who you are, and that’s why I love you. I love that you will throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and go out in public with me. And I love that you have a ridiculous number of old shirts that you wear without a care in the world, because even when you’re wearing them with jeans, you’re always the most gorgeous girl in the room.” His face tilts closer to mine, his eyes shifting between mine before his head shakes slightly.

“I don’t want you to be like her, and I’m not just talking about the way that you look, because even if she was as beautiful as you are, I still wouldn’t be with her. That’s why we kept breaking up. We were trying to force a circle through a square. We never fit. She never knew me. You.” Max’s head shakes again as his eyes close. When they open again they settle on mine. “You know me. You know me better than anyone.”

“You’re so much more than she is. Everything about you is what I want. Your brilliance, your sense of humor, your heart, the fact that you can’t stay awake through an entire movie … all of it is what makes me love you more every single day. Converse shoes and all, it’s you that I want. It will always be you. I can’t go back, not now.”

“What about the boobs?”

Max laughs, shaking his head. “I choose you, Ace. Only you.”

I lunge at him, kissing him again with all of the love and strength that he’s just bestowed upon me.

“I love you, Max,” I whisper against his lips before sealing my lips back over his.

Finals week is rough. I feel like I’m dating my flashcards, notes, and textbooks. I eat with them, fall asleep with them, and go everywhere in between with them. It’s a very one sided relationship. However, it seems to pay off when my finals all go relatively smoothly.

At the end of my final exam, which happens to be Philosophy, I feel both relieved and exhausted.

Wes packs up his things and wishes me a good Christmas. He’s headed to Te

“So, I apologize in advance if I make this really awkward,” I begin. His eyes lift from the stack of papers he’s already looking over and eyes me cautiously. “And I can tell by your face that starting with that line, I’ve already made this awkward …” I shake my hands, taking an audible breath. “So I really enjoyed your class, and I think you’re a really great teacher—”

“I’m sorry, Harper, but I don’t date students.”

“And that’s a really good thing,” I instantly reply, blinking a couple of times as I try to think how I’m going to recover from this. “I am trying to set you up, but not with me. I have a boyfriend. It’s not a date, I mean, I hope that you guys like each other, and I really think that you will. It’s one of my sisters, I have four of them … but that’s irrelevant.” I wave my hand, pushing my thoughts aside. “There’s no pressure to meet her, but if you’re interested, my boyfriend, Max, my sister Je

“I’m actually going to be there,” he admits after a beat, still looking cautious.

“Really? That’s great! The band is amazing. I’m glad that you like them. It’s another point in your favor.”

His eyebrows knit together slightly and I feel myself wince. You’re making this awkward. Where in the hell is my charming, charismatic side?

“Anyway, this is my number. If you’re interested in meeting up you can text me.” I place the sticky note with my number on his desk without waiting for him to accept it and walk out of the class, still concerned that he thinks I’m hitting on him. Though, I don’t doubt he thinks I’m completely socially inept.

Max is waiting for me when I step outside, casually leaning against the wall like he always does as girls give sideways glances at him and loudly giggle in an attempt to catch his attention.

“Will you come in here a second please?” Max raises his eyebrows at me while I take his hand and open the classroom door.

Professor Parker glances at me and then to Max, his face unreadable.

“This is my Max … my boyfriend, Max,” I correct, kicking myself for again displaying another socially inept example.

“Nice to meet you, Max.” Max’s face is tight, looking defensive, obviously not clear why I’m explaining to my teacher that I have a boyfriend and feeling the need to show proof.

“I invited Professor Parker to the concert with us tonight, with Je

I feel Max relax beside me and see the recognition on his face. When I’d mentioned setting them up, he’d laughed at me, like I was amusing.

“You should come,” Max says confidently, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Bosse girls will change your life.”

I smile at Max, weaving my arm around his waist before turning to Professor Parker and wave goodbye before we leave.

That night Je

We’re a little over an hour into the show when Max squeezes my hand and tilts his chin toward the stage. I look up to see Professor Parker approaching us, looking slightly timid, and even younger without his usual sports coat and loafers.

“Hey, Professor Parker.” I stand up and raise a hand to wave at him, smiling in greeting as he steps up to the blanket.

“Outside of class I’d prefer you call me Adam, Harper.”

“Fair enough. You should probably call me Ace, then.”

“Ace?” he asks in a clarifying tone.

I nod and turn to Je

Je

The four of us spend most of the evening talking rather than watching the show, but it’s the perfect environment and adds to the ease of conversation. I learn that Adam’s from Oregon and shares a passion for baseball with Max. He fits in comfortably, weaving into conversation like this is something that we do often.

I quickly notice how attentively he watches Je

I’m constantly tied to Max tonight. I feel as though I’ve barely seen him in the last week and have the desperate need to be as close as possible to him and constantly touching.

When the concert ends, Adam invites Je