Becoming His

I kiss him fiercely, letting my hands travel across his bare shoulders on their own accord, traveling a slow path to the front of his jeans where I unlatch his belt and work to unbutton his jeans. I clutch the denim in my fists and shove them down. Max releases his vise grip and steps out of his shoes without breaking our kiss, then folds each of his legs behind him to remove his socks. He takes a step back and pulls his jeans off, standing before me in a pair of black boxer briefs. I watch as his chest rises and falls with his breaths.

I know without a doubt that I will never forget the way I feel in this moment, or the look in Max’s eyes.

My heart races as I bend my knee, lifting my foot behind me so I can slide my heel off before doing the same with my other shoe, letting them both fall to the ground as Max and I keep our eyes trained on one another, wearing nothing but our underwear. Max takes a step closer to me, kissing me so softly that it concerns me.

“We can wait—”

I kiss him hard, cutting off his protest, and push him toward the bed. Thankfully that’s all the encouragement he seems to need.

He swiftly lifts me, laying me on the bed with a gentleness that doesn’t seem humanly possible. His eyes travel the full length of my body several times as he stands over me, his fingers softly trailing down my body, stopping on my hips. He hooks his index fingers through the black lace, and slides them down my legs, dropping them to the ground.

“God you’re beautiful, Ace.” His voice is quiet as his eyes rake up my body, stopping when he reaches my gaze.

I feel my lips tug up in a small smile. “You’re beautiful,” I whisper. Reaching out, I thread my fingers with his and pull him toward me. He releases my hand and climbs up beside me, holding my cheek as he begins kissing me, slowly, lightly. I stop myself from deepening the kiss, waiting for him to get comfortable and take the lead. His hand slowly runs from my cheek down my neck and over my breast, where it stops. My back instantly arches from the bed as I try to push myself further against his hand, needing to feel the pressure.

His kiss becomes harsher, rougher, as a growl escapes his lips, and I squirm as heat floods between my legs—a constant pulsating need that leaves my body tingling in anticipation. Max’s fingers gently massage my nipple, tugging and kneading my breast as my breathing becomes more ragged. He pulls his lips from mine, and his mouth replaces his fingers as his hand slowly trails down my abdomen to the i

“Max.” The words leave me, sounding like a groan and a plea.

A small grunt escapes him as he skims his nose along my jaw. His mouth lifts from my breast, and I tug his face to mine, pressing my lips to his to express my need. Slowly, his finger slides back up my thigh and inside of me, and I feel Max’s lips press harder against mine as my hips rise to meet him and a loud moan escapes my lips.

After a few moments of pure ecstasy that leaves me feeling breathless and dazed, Max sits up and reaches over to his nightstand. I watch his chest rise and fall as he pulls a condom from the drawer. He brings it to his mouth and rips it open with his teeth before reaching down between us.

He peers down at me and runs his tongue along his lips, his eyes focused on mine as I reach up to pull him back down to me. I lift my face to meet him and kiss him again, feeling my growing addiction to Max hit an all-time high. He places a hand on either side of my shoulders and slowly lowers himself into me. I gasp and my fingers grasp his sides, digging into his clenched muscles as I continue to stare up into his eyes, working to prevent myself from saying something I won’t be able to take back.

Sex with Max is slightly painful and a little awkward as my brain occasionally attempts to decipher what I should or shouldn’t be doing, but it’s also exhilarating and enormously fulfilling.

Afterward, Max lies stretched out on his side with me firmly pressed to his front so we’re facing one another. He trails kisses along my forehead and nose, down to my mouth, replacing hungry kisses from moments ago with soft tender kisses as his fingers trace up and down my back.

Max climbs off of the bed and returns with a wet washcloth. I quickly sit up and mumble a few awkward words before escaping to the bathroom to clean myself up, grateful that I have my overnight bag in here. I pull on some clean underwear and pajamas and lean against the counter as I catch sight of myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bright as I soak in my appearance. I’ve never thought of myself as being particularly attractive, especially compared to my sisters, but in this moment I feel beautiful.

I find Max changing the sheets when I come back out and feel completely mortified for a brief moment before he stops and turns to me, wearing a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips. I swallow a joke about the fact that I obviously hadn’t slept with Pedro when Max crushes his lips to mine and runs a hand through my hair.

“God, you’re perfect.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead before he lifts me up and carries me to the bed where we wrap around each other in a tight tangle of limbs.

A few hours later I wake up to find Max pacing across the wooden floors of his bedroom. A nervous panic rolls up my spine. He looks troubled and frustrated. I debate whether I should let him know I’m awake, or pretend that I’m asleep as fear resonates within me.

Before I can decide, his eyes sweep over to me and he stops, mid step. I slowly sit up, letting the sheet fall, revealing my black tank top. “What’s wrong?” I ask quietly as my heart thrums.

“Everything,” Max responds, rubbing a hand down his face.

Fear grips me as rejection and anger sear through my veins. Thoughts and realizations form faster than I can process or stop them.

I feel his eyes on me as I close the bathroom door and swiftly dress. My brain warns me of a silent countdown taking place, alerting me that I need to get out of here before the emotions I vigilantly work to keep suppressed burst. I wrench the door open, holding my bag, and throw my clutch inside before striding to the bedroom door without looking back at Max.

I’m nearly down the entire flight of stairs before he catches up to me.

“What are you doing?” he asks, grabbing my arm. I don’t turn to look at him as I jerk my arm free and make my way to Jameson’s room. I scrape my fist against the door.

“Ace, what the hell?” Max demands, reaching for my arm again. Before he can touch me I move further to the side and bang against the door with more force.

Jameson opens the door, his eyes half closed with sleep. He runs a hand over his messy blond hair, looking confused.

“Is Kendall in there?”

“Ace?” I hear her voice filled with panic. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“I just need my keys.”

“I’ll come with you,” she says, throwing back the covers.

“No, stay. I need to think,” I reply, mostly to myself. Kendall nods, looking reluctant, and I move my focus to her hands as she fishes through her purse.

I tightly grip the keys as she gives them to me and turn back to the door where Jameson stands, looking completely dumbfounded. I make a wide berth around him and Max and head straight for the front door.

Another door opens behind me, and I hear Landon ask if everything’s okay. Tears pool in my eyes as I run the last few steps out of the house, barefoot. The fact that Max doesn’t follow me past Jameson’s bedroom door answers my fear. This was a mistake. We were a mistake.

The anger that had kept the tears at bay while inside the house quickly recedes to pain as the countdown continues to fall and tears stream down my face. Traces of dark eye makeup cover my fingers and the back of my hands as I swipe at the relentless tears.