Surrender to Love

“I don’t think I ever said that you were self-destructive,” Jon said with a teasing smile.

“Well, maybe not in so many words…”

“Patricia, I—”

“There you are!” Jules came dashing into the hall, her smile so broad all of her teeth were showing. She took hold of Patti’s shoulders and turned her around. “Excuse us,” she told Jon absently, then began chattering excitedly. “You won’t believe who I talked to! His name is Travis, he’s a lawyer, and he is totally into me. We’re going out to di

Patti held on tight as Jules jumped up and down, jostling her. “That’s great,” she said enthusiastically. “Can you hold that thought? I was talking to Jon about something.”

Jules raked her eyes over him. “About what?”

“About stuff,” Patti said meaningfully.

Jon raised his hands in the air. “It’s fine. You two go talk.” To Patti he said, “We’ll catch up later. Can you come by my place? Say seven?”

“Tonight?” Jules asked, sounding distraught. “But I need you tonight. I need help picking out what to wear. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my hair.”

“Rain check?” Patti asked Jon hopefully.

“Sure, come by tomorrow when you get the time.”

Patti smiled and nodded. She watched him as he walked away, feeling relief from the oppressive weight that had been sitting on her shoulders finally lift. Jon was speaking to her, making time for her, and they were finally going to talk.

This roller coaster of a day had just taken a turn for the better.

23

“I need you to vacate the premises tomorrow,” Jon said as he walked through the front door.

In the middle of watching a movie, his sister, Casey, twisted around to look at him. “Hello to you, too. Thank you for asking about my day.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I was the only one listening when Mom and Dad were giving lessons on being polite.”

Casey had come to town under the guise of needing a place to stay while her place was fumigated for bugs—hazards of living in an apartment complex he supposed. However, Jon suspected that it had more to do with his parents and the fit he’d had at di

Kicking of his shoes, Jon joined her on the couch. “Hello. How was your day? Mine was good. Tomorrow, you need to vamoose.”

“Ugh.” Casey tossed her head back. “For how long?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole day, maybe the night. Depends on how well things go.” He winked at her, a devilish smile cresting his face.

Casey’s mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace. “I don’t want to hear about your sexual exploits!” She waved her hands as she got up and headed toward the kitchen. “I’ll see if I can stay with a friend or something.”

“Thanks, sis, you’re the best,” Jon gri

“I hope this woman knows what she’s getting into,” Casey said, returning with drinks for them both.

Jon accepted his beer and twisted the cap off. “She does.”

Casey’s eyes widened. “You told her?”

Jon didn’t have to ask to know what she meant. “Yeah, she knows about Nora.”

“What did she say?”

“The same as everyone else, that it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t blame myself.” He gulped his beer, all at once feeling uncomfortable.

“Well, she’s right you know.” Casey regarded him thoughtfully. “You’ve never told anyone else before, have you? I mean, is this it? Is she ‘The One’?”

Twisting the cold bottle between his fingers, Jon thought about it. Patricia was one of a kind. She was kind and smart, fu

If he weren’t careful, he might start to believe them. A part of him already did.

He wasn’t sure if it had been overnight change, or if it was a long time coming, but he noticed the difference. It was as though something inside of him had shifted. He no longer felt this gripping sense of despair or the oppressive guilt weighing him down. Oh, it was still there, but it wasn’t as heavy of a burden to carry anymore.

He knew that it had something to do with Patricia and her total acceptance of him.

He hadn’t realized until he’d told her just how much his past had influenced his life. He’d put his future on hold, denied himself one all together, because he didn’t think himself worthy of anyone’s love.

He was wrong.

Nora’s parents were wrong.

If someone like Patricia could find something in him worth caring about, worth saving, then he couldn’t be that far gone.

That day at his parents’ house, he hadn’t lied when he’d told his mother that he would think about fixing things with Patricia. He’d thought about it long and hard. While he was mulling it over, he went about his days as though his personal life wasn’t in a complete shambles. He’d made it to meetings on time, somehow managed to stay plugged in during the most boring presentations, and even managed to work in a few interviews for prospective accountants into his lunch hours.

Overall, he’d kept busy and productive, but it wasn’t until the day of the shower that he’d come to a final decision.

He’d asked his friend, Travis, to come along for moral support, because he knew Patricia would be there and he needed the distraction so he wouldn’t make a complete fool out of himself.

The moment he walked in, it was as if his entire being sensed her, and he zeroed in on her. She was stu

He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but her strained expression didn’t seem too promising…or welcoming. Somehow, he was able to keep his distance. He tried not to look at her, but his eyes kept straying. He tried not to pay any attention to her at all, but it seemed like the only voice he could hear belonged to her. It was as though he were hyper attuned to her every move, every breath. She consumed him.

The last time he’d found himself seeking her out, he caught her gaze and held. It was like a silent communication, a co

It killed him to listen to her crying in the women’s stall, and he knew she wouldn’t want him to be there to witness her pain, but he was glad he was. He wanted to be there for her, in whatever way he could, even if he were the cause of her pain.

In the end, he was glad he had been, because he wouldn’t be seeing her tomorrow if he hadn’t followed his heart and chased after her.

He knew the answer to Casey’s question. Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, she’s ‘The One’.”

Squealing, Casey launched herself into his arms and hugged him tight. “I am so happy for you, big brother! Are you going to propose?” she asked, pulling away.

He shook his head and leaned forward to place his empty bottle on the table. “One step at a time, little sister. I haven’t even found out if she’ll take me back yet.” He frowned down at his hands. “I really screwed things up with her.”