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“What a nice morning it is.” I smiled.
Gabe and I spent the next four days together. We hung out at the pool, went parasailing and shopped. Gabe showed up every morning at my room and kissed me goodnight every night at my door. Although we did nothing more than kiss each other it was the most intimate time for me which is why it surprised me the morning Ke
Maddy,
I hate that I am writing you this letter instead of telling you. I tried a million times tonight but I couldn’t say it.
Let me start off my saying how amazing these five days have been. When the boys dragged me down here I never thought I would not only run into you but be able to spend almost the whole trip with you.
Being able to touch you, grab your hand or kiss you whenever I want has been a luxury I’ve wanted for a long time. I meant what I said on the beach that night, my feelings for you run deep. Even though I can’t explain them completely, I know you could be the one for me. You could be the one that makes me forget all others and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, I am not the only one that feels that way. I hope you understand why I have to do this. You could never hate me as much as I hate myself for walking away from a woman so perfect for me but my brother saw you first. I have to honor my promise to him. I have to let him have his chance with you. Let him prove us both wrong. Let him prove he does deserve you.
I ask that you give your whole self to him and see where it takes you both. As much as it kills me it won’t be with me I hope you find happiness with him.
I will love you always Madgirl.
Gabe
I fold the letter back up putting it in the plaid box. Wiping the tears in my eyes I contemplate how I let him slip out of my life. I have only seen Gabe a handful of times after that letter and we gave each other politely awkward hellos and good-byes.
I took Gabe’s advice after that letter and starting talking to Trent about a month after we got back from spring break. He came home that summer for a month and I let him court me but like always Trent was more concerned about his life than my own. When he got a call to play in Europe for the rest of the summer he was on the next plane swearing we could do the long distance relationship.
The phone calls went from daily to weekly to finally it had been two weeks and I hadn’t heard a thing. When I would call him it sounded like a party, with girls and guys hollering in the background. Trent too distracted to have a true conversation. He never came home that summer before he went back to Thrayer University and I didn’t hear from him until about a month after school had started.
I had already written Trent off at that point but like always he begged for forgiveness stating if he wanted a career in soccer he had to take this serious and couldn’t be distracted. Of course I forgave him and we rekindled our friendship. We didn’t talk every day or every week. We lived out the next two years of our college life as friends, e-mailing and texting with the occasional phone call. We never asked if either one of us was dating someone not that I was anyway.
Now as I put that box away in my duffle bag, Colt walks into the room to grab my boxes. Colt is Bryan’s new best friend and will be moving in with us as well.
“You ok” he asks noticing my tears.
“Yeah.” I wipe my face.
“Great, one day and you already have pms. Should be a fun year.” He grabs another box heading out the door.
The four of us get into an easy routine of household chores, although Ke
I have finally become myself again. I came to terms with Trent and Gabe each holding parts of my heart but I let them both go. Trent has to pursue his dream of soccer and Gabe needs to find a girl who can give her whole heart to him. I made peace with this decision and am content with it.
The four us are having a roommate di
Although Bryan tells us all to shut our phones off I must have forgotten when I hear it ringing in my bag on the couch.
“Don’t even think about it Maddy.” Bryan warns me with his fork.
“Let me just turn it off.” I say to him having no intention of ignoring the call.
“Make it quick.”
“Ok Dad!” I say to Bryan and the table bursts out in laughter.
I dig through my bag realizing I missed the phone call but hear the ding indicating I have a voicemail. I dial it up really quickly and am happy to hear Jack’s voice.
“Hey Maddy. I need you to call me back right away, ok? Please Maddy.” Jack’s voice is desperate and pleading.
Before I can redial his number, I hear Ke
“Hey Jack” her voice confused to why my brother would be calling her. “Yeah, she’s right here hold on.” She hands me her phone even though I am still holding mine in my hand.
“What’s going on Jack?” I ask.
“Listen Maddy, I need you to come home.” Jack sounds upset and sad. I automatically think my mom has finally done it, she has killed herself by drunk driving or she overdosed.
“Why?” I whisper back to him.
“Just please come home.” He begs me.
“I want to know why. Did she finally fuck up her life even more? What did she do now?”
“It’s not mom, its…Dad.”
I drop the phone and sit on the couch with my head in my hands. Macke
Macke
“We need to go home Maddy.” She whispers in my ear while her arms hold me tight. “Your dad is in the hospital.” She waits a couple minutes while I breakdown before she continues. “Let’s go upstairs and pack a couple bags.” She inches me up leading me to the stairs.
Ke
Two hours later we finally pull up to the hospital. Bryan drops Ke