Don't Let Go

Once we started college, he joined The Invisibles and I joined a fraternity, sealing our separate ways for good. Last year, when I started seeing Mr. Carsen asleep on the park benches and passed out in alleyways, I knew I had to take care of him. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Carsen always loved his drinks. They used to have the most amazing parties when we were little. Brady, Maura, Kara, and I would run around playing tag and hide-n-seek while our parents got trashed.

I never thought about it then, but Mr. Carsen always seemed to be passed out on the couch at some point before the end of the night. But after my dad took away his wife, Mr. Carsen drank all the time. When I moved in with them, I remember Brady sleeping in the chair next to his bed to make sure he didn’t get sick or calling the university, informing them he was ill. That’s why I left to go live with Kara’s family; I couldn’t handle seeing what my father had caused.

“Hey you.” Jessa nudges her shoulder into mine, interrupting my journey down memory lane.

“Hey,” I respond, gently nudging her back. The smile she gives me takes all of my control not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp upstairs. I have to keep reminding myself she is taken and I will never again take another guy’s girl, even if I hate the asshole. “They kind of make me sick,” I joke, nodding my head toward Sadie and Brady, who are currently wrapped in each other’s arms while kissing. God, I’m a jealous bastard.

“Yeah, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I live here. Maybe I should have stayed in the dorms for my last semester,” she laughs, flashing that one dimple in her right cheek that has been driving me crazy for days.

From the moment I saw Jessa at my fraternity party, she has consumed my every thought. When Sadie asked if I would help her paint the third floor, I jumped at the chance when she told me Jessa would be helping as well.

As we walk over to the table to sit for di

Luckily, Brady starts talking, alleviating me from this pain for a short time. “Hey, everyone. Sadie and I want to thank you all for coming.” He stares down at her and she smiles warmly back up to him. “We want to play a little game and I hope that you all don’t mind, but we feel like we have so much to be thankful for this year, we want to hear yours. I’ll start,” he says and I want to kick his ass for this impromptu game. “I’m thankful that I am no longer am alone. That I have my one and only by my side forever and always. Never let go, babe,” he says, bending down and kissing Sadie. Can this get any cornier? Do they have to keep flaunting their newfound love?

Sadie stands up. “Never, Brady,” she says to him, grabbing his hand. “I want to thank Jessa for dragging me to that god-awful bar where my white knight with an edge saved me. I know I ran away that night but never again. I’m here, forever and always,” she says and Jessa smiles toward them. I didn’t know that’s how they met.

Everyone at the table starts standing up, thanking other loved ones or events that have happened. It’s getting closer to my turn and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I’m not usually shy to talk in front of people, but the way Jessa glances at me every time someone says what they are thankful for, I worry I will fumble over my words. Maura’s five year-old son knocks me with his elbow, telling me it’s my turn. I have no idea what that little man is thankful for since my head has been everywhere but at this table.

I nervously scoot my chair out from the table. “I’m thankful to have an old friend back in my life.” I stare at Brady who nods his head, smiling. Then I pull out Jessa’s chair for her and she stands up.

She looks around the table before her eyes land on me. “I’m thankful for new friends,” she says, winking at me.

My heart races at the thought she might want me as much as I want her. Too bad we have two things against us: she has a boyfriend and ever since Lizzy, I don’t do relationships.

Grant’s Story Coming October 2013

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Michelle Ly