Arrow's Hell

“A

“Just give me a few days, Arrow,” I tell him. “Please.”

“Okay,” he whispers, kissing my forehead, then swooping down and kissing my lips once.

The gentle kiss feels final.

Like he’s saying good-bye.

I can feel the want, the need for me, pulsating off him.

I want to tell him everything is going to be okay—but I can’t right now.

I’m too confused.

Blade picks Arrow up, and I get back into bed.

I roll over and bury my face into the pillow, crying for the father I’d lost but never had in the first place, and for the man I loved but didn’t know if I could forgive.

*   *   *

The next morning, a large bouquet of flowers and a huge plush tortoise arrive at Lana’s front door.

I know they have flowers for every occasion, but I didn’t think there was one for finding out the man you love murdered a father you’d never met. Orange tulips, however, were beautiful and my favorite.

The note reads:

Don’t give up on me. I love you. —Arrow.

 TWENTY-SEVEN 

THE next day, Rake enters my temporary room at Lana’s, coming to sit next to me and pulling me into his arms. “How you feeling?”

I shrug. “I don’t really know, to be honest. Numb, I guess. You?”

He sighs. “I never knew him, A

“Do you not care that Dad is dead because he was president of an enemy MC?” I ask him, frowning. It was obvious the club meant more to him than a father we never knew. How come I am having a harder time looking at it that way?

“Sometimes you got to make your own family, A

It is a sad truth. I don’t want to think about Arrow having killed my father, but I’d never even known the man. I love Arrow, and he’s always been good to me.

“When did Arrow tell you?” I ask him.

“After the two of you spoke. He’s devastated, A

“What are you going to do about Talon?” I ask him. I couldn’t think about Arrow right now.

His eyes harden slightly. “Nothing. He kidnapped you, A

“That’s not true. It was our dad’s fault he wasn’t there for us, not Talon’s mother. Although she sounds like a bitch too. Wow, our dad had really bad taste in women,” I say with a bitter laugh, then continue. “I wish Talon had just told me the truth instead of putting everything on Arrow’s shoulders.”

No matter how wide and broad they are.

“I think he wanted to put it on Arrow, revenge for killing his father. He laughed in Arrow’s face and told him that now he was going to lose someone he loved.”

I lift my head off his bicep. “He said that to Arrow?”

“Yeah. Arrow feels like shit, A

I don’t know what to say to that.

He killed my father. Shouldn’t I want nothing to do with him? But I don’t feel that way. I can’t imagine my life without Arrow.

“I’m so confused right now,” I tell Rake. “I don’t know what to do, or how to feel.”

“Do you love Arrow?” he asks.

“Is it that simple?” I ask, sniffling. “Of course I love him.”

Rake smiles kindly. “I think it is.”

“Love isn’t always enough.”

Rake nods. “I suppose so. But think about this—our father never bothered to see us, to check on us, to see if we were alive or dead. What has Arrow done for you?”

“Taken care of me, always.”

Rake kisses my cheek. “I’m not telling you what to do. I love you no matter what, you know that.”

“You’re taking this a lot better than I am.”

Rake chuckles. “My man didn’t kill our father.”

I slap his arm. “No, but your brother did.”

“Arrow is my family, A

“No, I’m okay, I just want to be alone for a while.”

Rake’s jaw clenches, but he nods once before leaving the room.

Two questions play in my mind.

Can I live with the fact that Arrow killed Samuel?

And can I forgive him completely? He doesn’t deserve to have me throw it in his face whenever I am angry or upset.

It’s all or nothing.

I don’t sleep a wink that night, my mind filled with Arrow.

SEVEN DAYS LATER

“Get out of bed, A

“Why?” I ask, still half asleep.

“Because you can’t sleep all day; get your lazy ass up!”

I open one eye. “Did you just yell at me?”

She grins. “I did, so now you know I’m not messing around.”

I force myself to sit up and throw Lana a dirty look.

She just smiles.

“So I got a phone call from Faye today, about starting as Clover’s na

“Are you considering it?” I ask her. “It’s good money.”

“I know,” she replies. “Really good money, but there’s one problem.”

I sit up straighter. “What?”

“I’m going to have to be around Tracker and Allie. I don’t know if I can handle that, to be honest,” she whispers, looking down at her feet. “The thing is, I could really use the money and I could help Mother out with some of the bills too, so I want to take it.”

When I’d suggested Lana to Faye, I didn’t even think about Tracker.

Crap.

“You don’t have to do it—”

Lana sighs. “He’s just a man, right? Maybe someone new will catch my eye.”

I didn’t want to tell her that if she felt for Tracker anything like what I felt for Arrow . . . well, I doubted those feelings would be going away any time soon.

“It’s your call, Lana. I could ask Reid if he needs someone else,” I suggest, but I can see in her eyes that she’s already decided to take this job.

She nods. “The money is . . . wow, for part-time work, and the times she needs me fit in with my class schedule.”

“I have to get to class, but we can talk more when I get back.”

She kisses me on my cheek. “Go take a shower.”

“I will.”

She leaves and I hop into the shower, wondering if I made the right choice bringing Lana closer to the club.

And closer to Tracker.

*   *   *

I’m more than surprised about an hour later when Tracker pulls into Lana’s driveway. I watch as he steps out of the car with a determined look on his face. Arrow has called me every day for the last week but has otherwise respected my wishes to be alone. We’d talk for a few minutes, he’d ask if he could bring me anything, if I needed anything. He was being so sweet and understanding. He’d ask me to come back to the clubhouse, but I told him I still needed a little space.

Everyone else has respected my wishes too—but it looks like that’s about to change.

I open the door for him.

“Hey, Tracker.”

“A

“She’s at school. What can I do for you?” I ask him as he glances around the house, taking in every little detail.

“Pack your shit; enough pouting. You’re getting your ass home where you belong,” he says, his tone brokering no argument.

I purse my lips together. “I don’t know, Tracker, I—”

He rudely cuts me off. “Do you love Arrow?”