The Unidentified Redhead

"Hey, you'll get no arguments from me. You've worn me out, woman. I am officially all used up," he answered, pulling the duvet up over us as I clicked on the TV.

"Hey, you just said sleepy times. Turn that off, Grace." He frowned, trying to grab it away from me.

"Wait, wait…ah ha!" I yelled triumphantly, finding Lifetime and my favorite show.

The theme song from the Golden Girls streamed into the room.

"Bloody hell," he muttered, but by the end of the song he was humming along with me, and by the end of the first scene, he was laughing along with me.

And by the end of the episode, we were both fast asleep, all tucked in and peaceful.

***

The next morning, we woke up early, started the day with a bang (ahem) and were on the road back to L.A. by ten-thirty. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with him all day, but Tuesday was getting so close, and I still had so much to do.

We drove in relative silence, and listened to songs on our iPods. We held hands the whole time and even when we stopped for gas, we were reluctant to separate. It was as if we were quietly begi

He kept his hand on my leg the rest of the drive back in L.A., and when we finally pulled into Holly's driveway, it was already mid afternoon. He needed to head back to his place for a while, and as I kissed him goodbye, I almost couldn't let him go.

He kissed me longingly and swept my hair up into a loose ponytail, holding it on the back of my neck.

"Crazy, I'll be back before you know it. You won't even have unpacked yet, I bet," he sighed, looking at my sad face.

"I know, I know…I'm being silly. You want to stay in for di

"That sounds great. You can make me di

"We can cook together. You get to help me." I laughed, squirming out of his grasp.

"That's a deal. I'll be back as soon as I can, love," he replied, kissing me once more. Then, he drove away.

I walked back into the house, shocked at how empty I felt without him there. This was not the way it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to have had a little fling with a hot Hollywood piece of ass, move to New York, and that was the end of it.

Now, I was head over heels in love with this wonderful guy, leaving in less than two days, and we hadn't even discussed what we were going to do about it.

What a fucking mess.

***

I went into the house and found Holly in the kitchen. She was sitting at the counter with a plate of crackers and a can of spray cheese.

She didn't even bother trying to hide the fact that she was really shooting the cheese straight into her mouth and leaving the crackers behind.

"So, how was the dick?" she asked immediately, not even letting me set my bag down.

"The dick? It was nice." I sighed, and leaned back against the fridge.

"How nice?" she inquired, pushing the cheese through her teeth and showing it to me.

"So nice, I'm amazed I'm able to walk, frankly," I admitted, sliding down the fridge and sitting on the floor. She looked at me carefully, and then put the top back on the can, tossing it to me.

"What's wrong, Grace?" she asked, starting in on the crackers.

"Why do you think something is wrong? I had a fabulous weekend, got fucked like it was going out of style, and…" I trailed off.

"And?"

"He told me he loved me," I said, raising my hands to my face.

"Shut up," she breathed, eyes wide.

"And I might have said it back." I gri

"Wow. Then what the hell is wrong with you?" she asked again.

I thought for a minute, and then answered. "I feel blue, Holly." And then the tears finally started.

I was so happy and so sad at the same time. It was bound to come out. And it came out all over her slate tiles in her gourmet kitchen. She came and sat down next to me, putting an arm around me and letting me sob.

"OK, you're blue because you love him and you are leaving," she stated.

"Uh huh," I sobbed.

"And you're blue because he loves you and he'll be three-thousand miles away,"

"Uh huh," I cried.

"And you're blue because he's twenty-four and what the hell does a twenty-four-year-old movie star have in common with a thirty-three-year-old aspiring actress that is moving to New York, albeit temporarily?"

"Yes!" I wailed, clutching the can of aerosol cheese to my chest. She pried it out of my hands, replacing it with a kitchen towel.

I got calmed down while she patted my back soothingly. When I finally got myself under control, I looked at her, snot ru

"Hol, what am I going to do?"

Her eyes were thoughtful as she considered. "You're going to decide what you want and then talk to him about it. I knew he loved you. I'm just glad he said it. You deserve to have all the facts in front of you when you talk. But you need to go into this with your eyes wide open. Things are going to be difficult…you know this. He's going to be busy, so are you. You'll both be pulled in two totally different directions, and they'll be the opposite directions from where you'll want to be."

I blew my nose into the kitchen towel and she grimaced, but continued, "Talk to him, Grace. See what he wants to do. I know long distance doesn't usually work that well, but in this industry, couples are separated all the time. You never know. Stranger things can happen. Who knew you would even get to this place?" she finished, as I watched her squirt another shot of cheese into her mouth.

I was silent for a moment.

"What're you thinking about?" she asked.

"I'm thinking that I want some spray cheese." I smiled slowly at her.

"I don't believe you." She smiled back sadly at me, but handed it over.

We sat on the floor for a while, not talking, just passing the can back and forth in the way that we used to share a joint. Cheese, marijuana…same thing really.

***

That night, Holly stuck around for di

After di

"What's up, Crazy?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, snuggling back against him. He was sitting on the lounge chair, legs extended, and I was perched between them, leaning back up against him. He had his arms wrapped solidly around me.

"You're here, but you're not really here…you want to tell me what's going on?" he prodded, nuzzling at my neck with his soft lips in a way that made me go all silly usually.

There was no silly right now.

I sighed again, turning on my side to face him. "I'm thinking about what happens on Tuesday, when I get on a plane and leave your sorry ass." I smiled tiredly.

"Ah, Tuesday. Well, what do you think should happen?" he asked, looking very serious all of a sudden.