The Stillburrow Crush

224

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

Marty's eyelids seemed to get heavy, and I think we all realized he needed to be alone. He needed rest and a little peaceful solitude.

My parents had already drifted out of the room and I'd been about to leave Marty alone. But at the call of my name,

"Carrie?" I turned back and came to sit by him on the couch. He looked at me from red raccoon eyes. "Don't tell anyone about what I said the other day...about the baby," he said. I shook my head. "I won't."

"I don't want anyone to know what I thought. I was wrong, OK?" He waited for me to nod. Then he continued after a shaky breath. "And if I wasn't wrong then she didn't want anyone to know. So I'm not going to let anyone find out."

"OK," I said in a soft voice. "I won't tell anyone."

"I don't think she deserved this," he said.

"Of course you don't." The very idea appalled me.

"But I was mad at her. I tried to hate her. I couldn't, though. After everything she did to me, I still can't. And I didn't want her to die. I didn't."

"I know, Marty. I know." I hugged him. He bowed his head and raised his hand to his eyes. "She didn't deserve this."

Keeping my arms around him, I rocked us into a sway on the couch. "It's not your fault."

"I didn't know I could hurt this much," he whispered. I closed my eyes and rested against him. I had no idea what I could do to ease his pain. But after a while, he patted 225

The Stillburrow Crush

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my arm and thanked me. So I guessed I'd done all I needed to.

Or maybe time had done the work.

It was early evening when Luke showed up at our front door. Mom let him in. He was looking at her with concerned eyes when I came to the end of the hall and into the living room.

"How are you, Mrs. Paxton?" He said it as if she was the mourning mother of the deceased. It touched me to hear him treat her that way.

Mom smiled at him gratefully and clasped her hands over his. "I think I'm as well as can be expected." Her eyes turned to the door down the hall where Marty's old room was. Then she smiled again at Luke. "Thank you so much for asking, Luke."

He nodded. Mom had already led him into the living room. Dad was out in the shop and Marty was in his old room napping. When Luke saw me, he swept past Mom and came directly for me. Right there in front of my mother and in the middle of her living room, he pulled me off my feet and hugged me so hard, I think I heard my back pop. He kissed my hair and smoothed his hand down my back. He murmured my name and then he clasped me to him again. "For three days," he said in an unsteady voice, "I've been driving myself insane, thinking what I would do if it'd been you." He pulled back to cup my face with his hands. "I just have to make sure you're OK." And he kissed me again. But this time, he really kissed me.

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The Stillburrow Crush

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At first, I was shocked he had the nerve to do this in front of Mom, but then he pulled my mind into the kiss and all I could think of was Luke. He was warm and generous and loving, and I wanted to soak into his warmth where I could hide away until all the pain had passed. And for a moment, I did.

When we stopped kissing, I rested my cheek on his shoulder. He latched his arms around my back and laid his chin on the top of my head. I listened to the low rumble of his voice coming through his chest as he murmured things like how good I felt and how much he'd missed me. I didn't move from his embrace until I heard my father's voice. I'm not sure when Dad had come in or how long he'd been standing there, but when I lifted my head, there he was, next to Mom.

"Luke," he said, and came toward us with slow, tired steps. When he started saying, "I don't think it's a good idea..." I was ready to jump in front of Luke and fight my parents tooth and nail to let him stay. I hadn't realized I'd missed him so much until he was right there, hugging me. I needed to feel Luke's arms around me, needed to feel alive. So when Dad finished with, "I don't think it's a good idea for Carrie to be cooped up here all day. Do you think you could take her somewhere for a while?" my mouth dropped. All week my parents had been anti-Luke and now they were begging him to take me away?

What was the deal with that?

Luke slid me a sideways glance that seemed to mirror my shocked reaction. Then he smiled. "I think I could do that." 227

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Dad nodded. "Good. She needs to get out of the house and free herself for a while." He rummaged a hand through his pocket and came up with his wallet. "Maybe you could get her something to eat. Do you need any money?" Luke lifted a hand. "No. I'm fine." He turned toward me. "I know exactly where to take her."

Mom came up and touched his shoulder. "Thank you so much, Luke. We really appreciate you being here for her at a time like this."

Luke nodded. He took my hand and squeezed. I had to hug each parent before we left and whisper my own thanks into their ears. I was glad they were finally realizing he actually liked me...Carrie Paxton. I was glad I'd finally realized it too.

Once we were outside and walking toward his car, Luke took my hand. "Are you sure you don't mind coming with me?"

I looked up at him. His concern was so evident, his eyebrows crinkled and his jaw tightened. He'd changed out of the dark suit he'd worn to the funeral and was in his letterman's jacket, a sweater, and jeans. Small drops of snow were settling in his black hair, making it curl around his cowlick. But in the cold of the day, his fingers remained warm around mine.

I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

"I don't mind," I said.

Luke opened the passenger-side door for me and waited until I was seated before he shut it. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek against the cold leather seat. I huddled in 228

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my coat, wanting to fall asleep right there and not wake up until all of this was over. When Luke started the car, he didn't say anything, but I could feel him watching me. I thought he was going to take me all the way to Paulbrook for a meal, so when he stopped the car seconds later I opened my eyes, surprised.

I sat up when I discovered we were parked in a paved circle drive in front of a two-story house with a three-car garage. My heart pounded against my chest and I sent a panicked glance to Luke.

"I want you to meet my parents," he said. I shook my head frantically, making wide sweeps back and forth with my face. "I'm not ready." The smile he gave me almost looked sad. "You're not afraid of them, are you?"

I shook my head no, but the word that came out of my mouth was, "Yes."

Luke reached over and snagged my hand. "This is the final step, Carrie. You meet my parents and we'll officially be a couple."

I showed him my doubting look. "There are steps for that?"

He gri

"You are such a liar. And besides, your parents already know who I am."

Luke sighed and briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he shot me the overly patient look my mother used to give me when I threw a temper tantrum. 229

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"They know who you are," he said, "but they've never actually met you." He shoved his door open. "I'm going to prove to you I'm not ashamed of you, OK? So you have to meet my parents."