The Stillburrow Crush

We taste-tested the wine first. Luke held the bottle by the neck as he drank and I watched his throat work when he swallowed. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His blue eyes were bright as they met mine. Then he moved his hand from his face and sighed. After he handed the drink to me, he never took it back. I hadn't had more than one glass before. And when I told Luke this, he said I wouldn't get as sick if I drank slowly.

It was so nice being there with him. I forgot I'd been nervous, and I teased him about the way he sucked the juice out of his watermelon before eating it.

After we polished off the rest of our snack—which he just had to note was all "health" food—we delved into the fireworks. I realized I hadn't brought any form of fire. But Luke came up with the idea of using his car's cigarette lighter to light the bamboo punk I discovered mixed in with the fireworks.

We set off the jumping jacks first. They made little sparks of light and sounded like crackling pops in the night. Then we worked our way through the sparklers. I tried to spell my name but Luke started to use his as a sword and we ended up having a jousting match instead—a short one because the sparklers stayed lit for only so long.

Next we set off bottle rockets. We'd toss them in the air right before they took off. Luke had better aim than I did because mine would dive right into the grass before popping. 146

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

His always managed to fly up and explode into a short volley of crackles, briefly lighting the night.

We collapsed on the tablecloth when every last firework had been set off. I was surprised there'd only been a few duds in the old pack. Almost everything had exploded with a satisfying report.

I sat huddled in my coat, shivering, my teeth chattering uncontrollably.

From his corner of the blanket, Luke glanced up. "Cold?" I sent him a get-real look. "Nope. I'm nice and toasty." He sighed. "You really can't control that smart mouth, can you?"

"Would you rather I had a stupid mouth?" I watched him as I tilted the bottle up and took a long drink. When I was done, I started to shiver again.

"Come here," Luke said.

I scooted away and gave him an uneasy look. He rolled his eyes. "Are you telling me you can invite me out here to the middle of nowhere all alone in the dark of the night, but you're too chicken to sit next to me and share a little body heat?"

I stared at the headlights of his car, wondering how much longer they could stay on before the battery went dead. I trembled again and used my numbed fingers to wipe the hair out of my eyes. "It's not the middle of nowhere," I said.

"We're not that far from town."

Luke took two handfuls of my coat and yanked me across the blanket toward him. His voice nearly growled as he said,

"Get over here before you freeze to death." 147

The Stillburrow Crush

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"What a polite invitation," I said, trying not to fall into him as he threw off my balance.

But he ignored my sarcasm. "Geez," he said, rubbing my coat between his fingers. "This thing's paper thin."

"That's because I can't afford something decent," I said sarcastically, a little put off that he'd made fun of my favorite jacket.

"Well, being the rich guy I am, I can," Luke shot back and pulled open his coat to wrap it around us both. He propped my back against his chest and cradled me in a warm embrace. Then pulling the edge of the tablecloth over our laps, he cuddled in close. I held in a dreamy sigh and looked up at the stars while resting my head back against him. The breeze froze my toes and the ground was hard under me but I was toasty everywhere else.

Luke tried to give me another drink of the wine, but some spilled out and leaked down my chin. He wiped the juice away with his thumb. His warm breath was at my ear and his lips were close to my jaw when he murmured, "Thank you for tonight."

I felt his hand in my hair then, working the clasp from my ponytail. "Be careful," I said, closing my eyes. "If you get too close, you might slip and fall for me." I'm not sure why I said it. I was trying to joke, but it wasn't so fu

"Maybe I already have," he said. 148

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

My mouth fell open. I jerked away and twisted my body around to face him. "No, you haven't." I made it sound more like a demand than a denial.

Luke sat up and the red-and-white-checkered patterns slid off his knee. He demanded right back, "Why can't I?" I dug a finger into my chest. "Because I'm the one with the crush on you. You can't get one on me!" Luke paused. "I thought you said you didn't have one for me anymore." He said it carefully, as if he wanted me to understand each syllable.

"Well, I lied."

"Well, good." His voice rose to match mine. "We like each other. So let's go steady."

"No," I said, my body instantly tightening. Luke wanted to be my boyfriend. I couldn't believe it. He actually wanted to be with me. I frowned. Had I just told him no?

In the gleam of his Mustang headlights, I watched his teeth clench. "Hey, you started this," he accused. "I was ready to leave you alone, but you called me. You asked me out here."

I glanced away. "I just wanted a Fourth of July poem," I said. I wanted to remind him I wasn't good enough for him, so he should quit teasing me like this.

"You're still lying, aren't you?" he said. When I spun to glare at him, he shook his head sadly. "I don't know what you're scared of, Carrie. Maybe it's the same thing I am. This isn't easy for me, either. I've never—" He broke off suddenly to run his hands through his hair. 149

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

I didn't pressure him to go on because he was right. I was scared. I was petrified of letting him get too close. I wound my arms around myself and rocked a little, realizing I was a fool.

Luke said, "You'll change your mind." And then as if someone turned on a light from night to day, his demeanor changed. Suddenly very abrupt and distant, he stood up and wiped his pants. "It's getting cold." My arms only tightened their hold. "It was always cold."

"I should get you home. What time is it?"

"I don't know. Does it matter?"

"No. You're right. It doesn't matter. Let's get in the car." He reached down to help me to my feet. I hadn't realized how much I'd drunk until I stood and it all rushed to my head. I swayed a little and Luke caught me to him. "Time to get the drunkard home," he said, and pitched the rest of the bottle toward the ditch.

"You're littering," I told him. And when he started to lead me to the car, I said, "And I'm not drunk. I'm just dizzy. Stood up too fast."

He insisted I was definitely buzzed. But I didn't care. I was in love. I was in love with Luke Carter. I wasn't wasted enough to blab that out to him but I was pleasantly buzzed to the point where everything felt intense. As did the pain. I couldn't believe myself. Here he was, spilling his heart out at my feet, and I said no. Not only did I say no, I refused to take it back and tell him I really didn't mean no. Luke patiently helped me into the passenger's seat but when he tried to put my seatbelt on, I swatted his fingers 150