A Song for Us

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her body. “Don’t. You don’t need to apologize.” I rested my chin on top of her head as I closed my eyes. “You are one of my closest friends.” I pulled back, placing a hand on either side of her face as I looked her in the eye. “I can’t lose you.” I pressed my lips to her forehead as she sighed, and her hands came up to wrap around mine.

“I’m not going anywhere, E. And neither are you. I won’t let you leave. You don’t run away from your problems.”

I smiled down at her. I wanted to tell her how wrong she was. Ru

“It’s gotten too hard.” I shook my head.

“That’s what she said.” A proud smile spread across her face.

I let out a genuine laugh as I pulled her in for another hug, rubbing my hand over her back. “That is why I love you.” My laugh died in my throat as her body stiffened from my words. I silently cursed myself as I gave her a squeeze and took a step back. I shouldn’t have used that word with Do

I ran my hand over my messy hair as I watched her. “Let’s get out of this hotel and go do something normal.”

Her smile returned and she nodded before slipping into her bathroom to change her clothes. I sat on the edge of her bed, leaning on my knees as I waited for her to come out.

She emerged a few minutes later in jeans and a white tank top, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Where are we going?” she asked with a smile.

“Wherever you want.” I pushed to my feet and walked over to the door, opening it for her. She stepped out and stopped as our eyes landed on Terry and Chris, who were in the hall chatting animatedly about the strippers from last night.

“Where are you two off to?” Chris asked playfully. I rolled my eyes and looked to Do

“Um . . . I was thinking about the zoo.” She glanced back at me to see if I approved.

“Sounds good to me.” I nodded at Terry as I continued by toward the elevator with Do

“Enjoy your date,” Terry called after us, and I stuck my middle finger in the air as the elevator doors opened and we slipped inside.

I leaned against the back wall as I shoved my hands in my pockets.

“I didn’t think it was a date,” she said nervously.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Call it what you want. Those guys are just assholes. Don’t let them get to you.” The doors opened and we stepped out into the lobby. I placed my arm over her shoulders as we stepped out into the entirely too bright world. I flagged down a cab that quickly pulled along the curb for us. I opened the door and made a sweeping gesture for her to get in.

“Lockwood Zoo,” I told the cabdriver as he pulled out into traffic as I relaxed against the seat.

“You have fun last night?” Do

I nodded and looked out the window as I cleared my throat. I didn’t want to talk about last night, about how I had managed to spend some alone time with Sarah. It just didn’t feel right to bring it up to her anymore, and it was too painful to think about. The line between friendship and relationship had become blurry with Do

“You?” I asked, still not looking at her.

“It was fun. Nice to spend some time without a bunch of drunk guys around.” She giggled.

“That what I am to you?” I put my hand over my heart, pretending to be offended.

“You know what I mean.” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I get it. That’s why I want to get away. Step outside this box we live in.”

“You ever think of what you would be doing if you weren’t in the band?”

“I, uh . . . I think I would have made a good soldier.” I glanced over at Do

“I can’t picture you taking orders from anyone.” She shook her head, clearly amused.

“You want to do what?” My father was clearly not amused.

“The army would be good for me. There is nothing wrong with fighting for your country.”

“How do expect to do that, Eric? You think they let any screwup with a record in?” He flipped the page of his newspaper, not even bothering to look up at me.

“I can explain what happened. I’m a minor. In a few months I’ll be an adult and I can go off to basic. It would get me out of here.”

I hated how much it bothered me that they wanted me gone, but I hoped it would be a good selling point.

“You would just screw that up, too. The army is for men, not boys.”

“Maybe if my father took the time to teach me how to be a man, I wouldn’t be such a fucking disappointment!” The air left my lungs as my father’s eyes locked on to mine.

“What did you say to me? You think you can screw up your life and blame it on me?” He pushed up from his chair, the newspaper falling to the ground. I widened my stance and braced myself for the inevitable blow to come. It was too late to back down now.

“Not everything is my fault.” I yelled, hoping my voice sounded confident. “I want to be a good person. If I could join, I could make you proud.”

“It’s too late for that,” he said with a sneer and turned to leave me standing alone, ready for a fight.

I shook the memory from my mind and tucked my arm behind my head as my lack of sleep began to hit me. “Yeah, I guess I would have a little trouble with that.” I loved how easy our conversations were. I didn’t have to try with Do

We pulled into the zoo parking lot and I thanked the driver and paid him the fare. I slipped out onto the sidewalk and stretched as I waited for Do

“I haven’t been to a zoo in years.” She was beaming from ear to ear as her eyes danced over the entrance.

“I can’t ever remember being to one.” I pushed the thought of my childhood into the back of my mind.

“Even better. New memories.” She looped her arm in mine and pulled me toward the ticket counter.

We made our way down the bamboo-lined paths as I held her hand in mine.

“ ‘They are pink because of what they eat,’ ” Do

I pulled her into my side and lightly kissed the top of her head. “You’d be adorable pink,” I joked, and she rolled her eyes. The carefree Do

“Be thankful. I don’t even want to think of what color you would be because you’re so full of shit,” she joked.

I hugged her tightly into my side as I laughed. “Jesus, you’ve been hanging around the guys too long.”

“It’s nice being just the two of us.”

I was taken aback by her comment but it was the truth. It was easier. Being around her took away the stress that had been piling up since Sarah had showed up at the wedding.

As we made our way to the macaws, she laughed as I flapped my arms trying to get them to mimic my movements. “You don’t strike me as a bird guy.”

“No? I could be a bird guy,” I said as I looked over at her, unable to hide my content smile. Do

Chapter Twenty-Two

SARAH

I COULDN’T EAT AS I stared across the table at the twins. Derek was beside me, his hand resting on my thigh. I wanted to move away from him but I already felt guilty enough. I tried to convince myself that all I had done was hug E, but I knew it was more than that, at least to me.